The Weinstein Effect

It’s painful to witness. But I’m also hopeful.

I watch the news and wonder: are we at a tipping point in women’s relationship to power?

The old boys club—not just in Hollywood, but everywhere—is being exposed as a bunch of bullies and brutes, consistently abusing their power through egregious behavior or tacit support.

That’s nothing new, of course.

But here’s the hopeful part. Women are refusing to remain victims.

They are unmaking their abusers, en masse.

They’ve made it abundantly clear that the top-down male model of control, domination and self-aggrandizement is not only ineffective, but offensive, dehumanizing and often vicious.

#me too is morphing into #never again.

It’s time that each one of us—you and I—find our voice, join the chorus and take this journey. Even if, especially if, it’s scary.

Never again will we tolerate abuse. Never again, will we suffer in silence. Never again will we water ourselves down so as not to make waves. In our homes or workplaces.

This is what the Feminine Face of Power looks like.

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Comments & Feedback


Renee

November 1, 2017 AT 10:54AM

I too am delighted women are finding their strength and voices. My parents raised me with self-confidence that I, and any woman, was just as good as a man, and should be treated with respect. In the mid-80’s, early in my career (my early 20’s), I had the unpleasant experience to work with a much older man who would call me “pussycat”. And when I informed him of my name, and only if he used my name would I listen to him/support him/his projects, he told me to calm down and how the young woman of that day were ruining business; that his comments were all just fun. I refused to do his work and met the President of the company informing him that at this time I didn’t need him to step in but wanted to let him know I wasn’t working with the sleazy guy. I’ve thought about this experience a lot since #me too and am happy I had the power then to standing up for myself — and am grateful for the self-love and confidence my parents instilled in me. I wish more woman had such support.


barbara stanny

November 1, 2017 AT 1:16PM

Wow, Renee, I’m very impressed. I LOVE your story and so happy you shared it. More people need to hear about women like you!!! You’re a FABULOUS role model!! Yes, you had great parents. But you’ve also got guts and self respect…kudos to you!!!


Kate Goldsborough

November 1, 2017 AT 2:22PM

Barbara!
What a great post.
I grew up in a household of powerful women so was plenty surprised when I got out in the real world and learned how it was.
I’m so thrilled, especially with young women, to see the #never again. I taught inner city kids in NYC and was horrified when I saw not much progress had been made from the hard work of previous generations. But boys and girls liked my tough on jerks approach, and to see it growing worldwide is exciting.
Thank you for being an inspiration and a big voice in the world.
xoKate


barbara stanny

November 2, 2017 AT 12:59PM

Thank YOU, Kate, for your comment. I LOVE that you taught kids to be “tough on jerks”…what a great message!!!


anonymous

November 1, 2017 AT 4:38PM

Hi Barbara – I LOVE that this movement is finally gaining momentum. I have been a professional in the workplace since the early 1980s and like most women my age, have countless stories that I could share that are examples of what this movement is about. I almost want to cry just thinking about it. For so long, women have been penalized in the workplace …just for being WOMEN! I am now middle aged – and despite advanced degrees and a resume that might make some recent graduates envious, my finances are worse than they have ever been. I don’t even qualify for your mentorship program because I am not financially stable. After suffering extreme discrimination and acting upon it by initiating litigation, I am in the proverbial employment “blacklist” – and have had to survive by taking jobs no woman with my experience should have to. I spent too much time looking up to men in my earlier years and trying to please them and outside of work, worrying about my lack of a husband and now I am paying dearly for it. I am not sorry for standing up and litigating – I am proud of myself because I know it is because of the women of the 80’s like Anita Hill, who stood up to male power to tell the truth, that we can even have this “Weinstein” movement, which I hope will grow stronger and bigger every day. I don’t enjoy suffering the consequences, but pray that when this is over, and it will be someday, I will be able to build an enviable investment portfolio to make every man who harassed me (and some women) weep!


Angie O

November 2, 2017 AT 4:31PM

Thank you so much for these posts!! I can only pray that we,as women are actually getting an EMPOWERED voice.. & not one that will leave us “blacklisted” (which is where I am at now)… .and/or facing debilitating retaliation.. be it obvious or passive aggressive…. the sadddest thing of all is when another WOMAN (or women) try to tear us down because of their own insecurities, jealousy or desire to “climb the ladder” …. Please keep this voice strong and encourage women to SUPPORT EACH OTHER… to walk through this fire….


Paula Zimmerman-Taylor

November 2, 2017 AT 9:45AM

Never again will I stay silent on a job when a man is hideously verbally abusing me and paying me bottom dollar to take his shit! And feeling entitled to do so! I did finally walk out of just such a job but was mad with myself for putting up with it the three weeks that I did!
Also, I am a screenwriter and have had a lot of sleazy come ons from powerful men, including the request to ‘please’ a group of them, who would, in turn, probably greenlight my screenplay. Turned it down. Also, when I had a film about Violence against Women in a festival in Hollywood, I was invited by the agent of a famous actor to ‘hang out’ by the pool at his house. I just felt it was a sleazy come on, and decided to keep my flight schedule and return home.


barbara stanny

November 6, 2017 AT 1:00PM

Oh Lordy, Paula…what women in Hollywood (or almost any industry) are subjected to…it makes my skin crawl. I have tremendous respect that you had the courage to walk away from the sleazy behavior. Thanks for your comment.


barbara stanny

November 2, 2017 AT 1:53PM

My heart truly goes out to you!! You and I grew up when women really were victimized and, unfortunately, many of us were groomed to ‘take it’. I’m proud of you too for litigating. You took a stand, and that took courage. I found, when I’ve had really painful experiences like yours, there were usually some very critical lessons to be learned, that I needed to learn, before I could catapult myself higher. Wishing you the very best. And sending big hugs xo

Abisola Faison

November 5, 2017 AT 5:55AM

#metoo #neveragain #feminine face of power My stand is to never let anyone violate my personal space and body ever. This is very painful and at the same time enlightening to watch how wide spread this abuse is in humanity worldwide. The more I/we get to the truth and accept that we do have a choice in the moment, the better. Having worked in a woman led organization for most of my life did not shield me from witnessing this abuse happening against our organization and in other areas of my life. I feel blessed to witness this very historic public moment when there is an opportunity to shift the paradigm and take 100% responsibility for our relationships. Silent no more, we have to listen to each other – isn’t it strange that those 2 words have the same letters! I pray that this conversation has the effect of the hundred monkey syndrome. I pray that women help women to get out of situations that they want to but don’t have the support to do so. This is a social and racial justice issue and it must be addressed at every level. Without struggle there is no freedom, may all women stand in this stand and take their power back! The next generation does not need to have this inheritance!

barbara stanny

November 7, 2017 AT 11:43AM

Amen, sister. Silent no more! I love every word you wrote, Abisola. Sending big hugs your way xo

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