My Journey Through Fear (Thanks to A Course in Miracles)

I’ve always been an upbeat person.  But these past months have cast a dark pall over my positive attitude. I’ve been feeling fragile, fearful, unsettled.

Finally it dawned on me. I need to surrender in stillness to receive guidance from a higher wisdom.

Almost immediately, a lesson from A Course in Miracles came to mind—You can see peace instead of this.

Huh??? How can I possibly see peace in a world filled with frightening and depressing events?

But I remember the Course’s primary teaching.  Our minds have two “thought systems” or two distinct voicesthe voice of fear (Ego) and the voice of love (Soul). “There is no compromise between the two.”

If you listen to the Ego, the Course insists, “You’ll see yourself as tiny, vulnerable and afraid. You’ll experience depression, a sense of worthlessness and feelings of impermanence. You’ll believe yourself helpless and the world directs your destiny.”

The key to finding peace, the Course explains, is by disciplining the mind to unplug from the Ego and tune into your Soul. Your ability to redirect your thinking is the most powerful device that was ever given you for change.” 

The fear I was feeling actually was a valuable warning signal. I was following the wrong thought system. I needed to redirect my attention to what inspired me rather what upset me.

I began watching uplifting videos on YouTube, reading inspirational books, spending time (via phone or Zoom) with people I loved, having candlelight dinners with my husband, binging on the Marvelous Mrs Masel.

And I refused to talk about distressing events. A few days ago, my mom started complaining about the riots in her hometown and I changed the subject. It felt great!

Sure, I have my moments. The chaos is still swirling around me. But it no longer gets to me…at least not for very long.

How are you coping with everything going on in the world today?


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Comments & Feedback

  • Riana

    Hi Barbara,
    Rage. I’m feeling rage. Anger. Today I was thinking, what if this rage stays with me for the rest of my life.
    Of course that’s an ego thought. I know that – intellectually, and also to a degree, deep down.
    I’m reminded of the lesson ‘Only your thoughts can hurt you.’
    Definitely swinging between the two thought systems.
    And the funny thing is, I can observe myself in my rage and outpourings, then have a laugh about it.
    But when I’m in it, it is very real and visceral.
    Yes, I’m a course student.
    I’m so grateful for what I’ve learned through the course. All is well. There is nothing to fear. I’ve had that re-assurance, almost on a personal level.
    Yet, I am still holding two opposing thoughts in my mind. OK, vasillating between them. Maybe it’s the last blast of the ego. How cool would that be?!

    • barbara huson

      I can totally relate to everything you’re saying Riana…and I loved the way you expressed it. However, I seriously doubt this is the last blast of the Ego, because it never ever shuts up. But the fact you can laugh about it is the best way to handle it. Thank you so much for posting this…I really liked what you wrote.

  • Dr. Jacqueline Whalen

    I soooo agree with this! But thank you for the reminder that I DO have control over my thoughts! I like to turn on my creativity- rearrange some furniture, plant flowers and decorate for the season!

    • barbara huson

      That’s a great response to the Ego, Jacqueline…being creative is a great way to silence it…I hadn’t thought of that!! Thanks. Next time my Ego starts screaming, I’m going to rearrange some furniture! Brilliant.

  • Maria Wynen

    Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and the lesson learned from this – the description of Ego’s voice from A Course in Miracles is exactly how I’ve been feeling recently. But also, thanks to you and others, I’m beginning to turn a corner to a brighter vista. Currently not in employment and facing the challenge of where to next, at an older age and with many others unemployed presently too. But thinking this is also giving me a chance to look at other possibilities and trying to listen for guidance, and feeling more hopeful!

    • barbara huson

      I so appreciate your post, Maria. I can think of no better resource than the Course for times like these, especially being unemployed…I listen to it (on YouTube) and read it everyday for solace and support. I’m so glad you found it too. I trust your guidance will lead you to the perfect opportunity at the perfect time. I’d love to know what you find. Thanks again for writing.

  • Lisa

    Hi Barbara,

    I’m coping by focusing on the “control zone”. It was something that was taught to me after getting my marine license. I can’t control if a big vessel is coming towards me that can’t immediately stop, but I can control my next maneuver- swerving out of the way to avoid a collision.

    I think it’s kind of a hobby for some people to constantly moan and grown about all the chaotic things that have happened this year. They binge watch sensationalized news everyday taking in too much negativity .

    I am so glad I blocked the entire world out last night by having a quiet course dinner with my husband. I want to try a home candlelight dinner next. What you described sounded so peaceful.

    Take care,
    Lisa

    • barbara huson

      I love the idea of having a control zone, Lisa…what a great metaphor! I can certainly control what I put my attention on, which is exactly what I’m doing and for the most part, succeeding. Those candlelight dinners always work in making life a bit more peaceful.

  • Suzanne Goulet

    Hi Barbara –
    There is a mention at the bottom of the post for the “Wealth Connection” membership, however the link doesn’t go anywhere.

    Is there somewhere I can find it?

    Thank you,

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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