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A Candid Confession on Aging

In a few weeks, I turn 70. And I’ve been really struggling.  70’s are…dare I say…old!

The mere mention of that word—old—sends shivers of shame through me. As if being old is an affliction I must hide…lest I be diminished in the eyes of others, or deemed irrelevant.

I remember when I turned 60. I awoke that morning, big smile on my face.  In my mind, 60 was simply ‘middle aged’…no big deal, perfectly acceptable.

But 70 feels radically different. I have no desire to retire, no fear of death and I definitely appreciate the wisdom I’ve accumulated. But—here’s my candid confession—I’ve bought into the cultural bias against aging women.

Western society, in its adulation of youth, tends to ignore, patronize, even disparage the elderly, especially females. Yet here I am, doing it to myself. I’ve fallen prey to my own latent prejudice.

Oh, the insidious ways we women devalue ourselves when we don’t meet some mythic ideal.

I know botox isn’t the solution (though I’ve tried).

My challenge now is finding self-acceptance—to see myself as, say, a fine wine, increasing in value with age—despite the pervasiveness of ageism.

Perhaps, one day, I’ll share with you how I’ve joyfully and powerfully embraced the aging process. I’m not there yet.

But if you are, I’d love some advice.


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Comments & Feedback

  • Judge Patrice Ball-Reed

    You go girl. You look great. It is a matter of mindfulness. Living in the moment. Enjoying life and others no matter what happens. Keep up the good works.

    • barbara stanny

      Thank you sooooo much, Patrice. Your words help!!!

    • Laura

      Barbara, since menopause hit (I turned 53 in August) everything has changed. My body will never be like it was earlier in life, and I’ve decided to embrace it – belly and all. When I see photos of myself now, I look almost exactly like my mother, who is 72. All I can do is honor myself, exactly as I am, breathe deeply, and continue to pursue my passions. (I also exercise and eat mostly good foods.) My first speaker reel has been completed. YES, I can do that at the age of 53, even with my belly and little chunk of stuff under my chin that wasn’t there before. It is so challenging, especially with the raging hormones of menopause. I choose to accept myself, exactly as I am, and see the beauty in my body. What else can we do to live a fulfilled life?

  • Maria

    I love you Barbara, ❤️❤️❤️
    Happy birthday. I think you are especially brave to show yourself this way. I’m 54 years old and I can relate but I have the sense that I am part of the big play, acting with other actors, in this world and I try to laugh at myself and what transpired in my life. If I remember that I have a choice how I want to play, act my part. I get excited about doing all the different parts.

    • barbara stanny

      Good reminder, Maria…I have a choice!! When I’m mindful, I can do that. My challenge is to stay mindful and not slip into self depreciation. I so appreciate what you wrote.

  • Kate Goldsborough

    Barbara,
    I started writing back to you so if you get two of these, please forgive.
    Your newsletter was great. My answer? This doesn’t change overnight. And this is what I address in my 6 week, online group class, Beauty is a Decision. I will hold it again in the spring. We focus on the solution and end up with a lifetime of tools that take you from the feeling you beautifully described into actionable steps and on the road feeling and looking good.
    Check out my class page on my website. kategoldsborough.com/class
    May I use your newsletter on my FB page, Kate Goldsborough Stylist?
    Much love,
    Kate

    • barbara stanny

      Yes, of course you can use this newsletter. I’m thrilled you want to. I was so insecure about sending it out…but the response has been so confirming. I think your class sounds like its meeting a great need!!!

  • Lisa Stiles

    I work in Show business and in the fitness industry where my outward appearance is VERY important. I have spent my life obsessing about the SIZE of my body and spent years becoming more accepting of it. In the past few years my age has become an issue for me also…. since both industries are very focused on physical appearance. I made a decision to use the same methods I used to love the size of my body to also love the age of my body. It is really about being a maverick in the way you view yourself . For me…it is about being unafraid to think differently than the rest of the world. When I was getting healthy about the size and shape of my body I had to reject all magazines that promoted an unhealthy body image…so basically NO magazines in my house at all! I had to throw away my scale because I refused to let a small machine in my bathroom change how I felt about myself. I surrounded myself of images of beautiful women with curvy figures like my own. I went to museums to look at paintings of women throughout the ages. I read books and found a therapist who was savvy on the approach I was using. I believe I need to do this again but with a focus on aging. It was hard at first …but I am sure it is also like changing my mind about my abilities surrounding money! I am a work in progress. I continue to work towards new attitudes about earning and saving money ,loving myself and realizing my own self worth.

    • laurie ginsburg

      Hi Lisa, thank you for your post. I have been struggling with this issues for the past 2 years. I have always been very healthy and fit and in menopause everything is changing regardless.of what I do, I am not in control. Hormones seem to be more powerful than anything else. Wondering if we could talk and support each other in this endeavor? I live in LA CA. Where r u?
      All the best, Laurie..
      [email protected]

      • barbara stanny

        Wow, Laurie, it feels good to hear I’m not alone. I suspected I wasn’t….but no one really talks about this. I was kind of afraid to share. But I see I touched a nerve. I love that you’d like to keep the conversation going!!!

    • barbara stanny

      Lisa…I’ve often thought how difficult aging must be for actresses. Oy!! But I LOVE your attitude…and everything you said. But one line really struck me: “It is really about being a maverick in the way you view yourself . ” I’m printing it out and pasting it on my computer. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Being a maverick feels really sexy!!!!!

    • Lois

      Lisa,

      I love your approach both to your body image and aging. Great idea.

      Lois

  • Chara Armon

    I don’t have any answers but as a woman in her mid-40’s facing already some of the self-doubt you mention, I appreciate that you are discussing this. I do like Christiane Northrup’s work on making a decision to be “an ageless goddess.” Keep telling us what you learn so we all can do better with aging with grace and power–or not even buying into the aging paradigm.

    • barbara stanny

      I’ll keep you posted, Chara. I LOVE Chris Northrup…but one thing that bothered me…I heard her say in an interview, right after her book about aging was released, that a woman should never tell her age. My heart dropped when she said that. I felt it fed right into the shame of aging for women. On some level I didn’t want to endorse that…but on another, I felt she was right. Thanks for your comment!!!

      • Lois

        I think the idea of not telling your age is so that we don’t put limits on ourselves. Your soul doesn’t have an age. So just keep being who you are without any limits. You are beautiful and energetic.

  • Marti Dodge

    Barbara, I feel blessed that my parents, aunts and uncles, now gone, all stayed young into their 90’s. I remember as a child thinking 60 seemed really, really old and how would I get there, what would it feel like to be old…. but when I turn 70 in a month or so I know that age means nothing except the opportunity to learn more and for me, especially, to be able to create beauty with my art for others.

    • barbara stanny

      Love hearing your attitude around aging. That’s so healthy. My mom is turning 91 the day before me…and her boyfriend of 14 years is in his 40s!!! She is my role model. Thanks for sharing!

  • Stacy

    Barbara I turned 50 this year and have the same misgivings about aging (although the alternative is less attractive). I don’t have any advice either. What I know is that you have changed the way I look at money and have started me on a path toward wealth building. I am grateful for your 70 years on this earth and your willingness to share your experiences, missteps and the sometimes ugly truth to save the rest of us from ourselves. I started reading Sacred Success again and feel like I am finally ready to change my money conversation and build wealth so I can make a difference in the this world and the causes near and dear to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. While I know it is your birthday, I feel like you have given us all a gift. 🙂

    • barbara stanny

      Thank YOU, Stacy. Reading your comments brought tears to my eyes. You can’t imagine how much your kinds words mean to me. I’m going to print out your post, and read it when I need a boost, which will probably be frequently. I truly appreciate you taking the time to say this! xoxoxo

  • Roshni Dominic

    Hi Barbara,

    Please check out the brilliant book by Dr Christiane Northrup, called ‘Goddesses never age’. It completely changed my view on ageing. I hope it’ll be just as helpful and useful for you too! Remember, you are a goddess!

    Warmly,

    Roshni

  • Lovelynn

    Happy Birthday!
    70’s are going to be awesome! Maybe you need a little inspiration from the women featured in Advanced Style.
    http://www.advanced.style/the-advanced-style-documentary-film-page

    • barbara stanny

      OMG, Lovelyn…I got full body chills watching that trailer. BEST. PRESENT. EVER. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!! I’m going to watch the full video on my bday. So inspiring. Sending you so much love and gratitude xoxoxo

  • Pati

    Happy Birthday Wonderful Woman!!!!
    My birthday is Jan. 2. By then, we all go, “No more!!!” to celebrating. It just kind of goes by.

    So. I’m in Walmart getting glasses. The lady asked my age.

    No one does that! It’s always, “Date of Birth”!

    I had to get out my phone, hop on the calculator.

    I’m using my fingers. ” Let’s see. We had a January already…. so is that one more, or….. ”

    You should have seen the lady’s face! “This fool is EXACTLY why I hate this place!”

    Turns out I was four years older than I thought!

    I told her I couldn’t handle looking for glasses now. I needed to go home.

    She said, “Good.”

    https://youtu.be/8DFvzXTO4Qc

  • Linda Ruocco

    Barbara, I consider myself lucky that both my parents passed on younger looking genes, BUT 70 is 70 and when I turned 70 this summer, it was unlike any other birthday I’ve ever had. I knew I had great things ahead of me, but I knew certaiman things were over and I urged myself to get complete with that.

    I know I look younger than my age, but that only gets me in the door in a few areas that are still important to me: a 59 year old man will still look at and date a 65 or 66 year old woman, but 70? I’m not so sure.

    There are work opportunities out there but it shifts for 70 year olds and I’ve been at the receiving end of that conversation when I’ve tried to position myself for a possible change in my career.

    I’ve decided to set myself up as the source of Wisdom and that has seemed to have some traction so far. I keep going with it and see where it leads me.

    I’m not afraid of death or dying or not being able to do things, but I am afraid of being sick. Resiliance in health is critically important to me. So, starting a yoga practice seemed the perfect solution. And walking — I received my first Fitbit today.

    I think community is critical and now I’m sorry I worked so hard that I didn’t create that long ago. But, for that, too, it is not too late.

    In Love and Wisdom,

    Linda

    • barbara stanny

      I hear you Sistah!!! Thanks for hearing me too. It really is heartwarming to know I’m not alone in my struggle. You have got to watch the video Lovelyn sent…omg, it gave me a whole other view of aging.

  • Anne Porteus

    Think of 80! No kidding.
    I am now 73 fast approaching 74, and not one year before 70 bothered me.. but oh boy, 70 has been really difficult . I don’t have any magic answers except that I go deeper into finding my own self worth and continually work on letting go of others opinions and expectations.. even all the judgement I can of myself. 70 began a whole new journey on letting go re defining who I really am and attempting to please myself first. Knowing we are in the last third of our life makes a difference , their is no longer time to play victim but to find our own loves, of self, and what is really important!! And it is a day to day journey, their really is no black and white anymore .

  • Ag Castor

    Easy-peasy. First and foremost, cease making apologies for any of the weaknesses you feel about yourself (like, “Bad knee,” or “My memory isn’t what it used to be.” Don’t even mention them, as they will subtly (or not-so-subtly) make others see the disabilities and not the abilities.
    As a corollary, I read somewhere that the average woman says “”Sorry” twenty times a day. Even if that’s not accurate, how many times do YOU say, “Sorry” for things you have no reason to be actually, like, sorry about? Say “Excuse me” if you bump into somebody, but don’t say “Sorry” if you’re already on the stairs or when you move your things over on the conference table. “Sorry” makes you more forgettable, more invisible. Screw that.
    Learn new things every week and share them to show your lively intellect. No, this does not mean sharing cute puppy memes and political tidbits on Facebook. I said, “intellect.” Cultivate a new interest.
    Help somebody else. Even if you are homebound, you can offer advice, support, and love to somebody else online. Get out of your own skin and realize that no matter how rotten you think your day is, somebody else is definitely having a worse one. Rejoice and be thankful.
    Wear bright colors, not fade-into-the-woodwork pastels. Wear cool, but comfortable, shoes– good balance shows in your posture and mien.
    Be a joiner. The Red Hats, the local food pantry, the women’s shelter, the Scouts, the faith community visitation squad, the animal shelter, all are full of interesting people. Go meet them.
    We’re all living longer. Live all of your dash.
    (That’s the dash n your tombstone between your birth year and your death year. What you do with it is up to you.)

    • barbara stanny

      Ag, these are brilliant instructions for aging with joy. I a book: guidance for growing older. THANK YOU so much!!!! I will take everything you said to heart!

  • Karen McCall

    Hi Barbara,
    When you told me you were turning 70 I had a hard time believing it. You’ve got such a lively spirit that I would never think of you as 70. What’s weird about this, is that I will turn 75 in July and I have the same disbelieving for myself. I think you nailed it that society doesn’t value older age especially in women.
    I’ve been spending time on Pinterest searching topics like “Fall Cloth outfits for women over 70” etc, and I’ve found some pins, but not nearly enough!!! This week I made the decision to make a huge splash on turning 75. The photos on my website were taken on my 70th birthday and I’m going to retake them next year in June and announce to the world that this is how it looks and feels to turn 75. I’me feeling pregnant with ideas – it’s similar to how I felt in 1988 when I first envisioned my business. I’m very curious to see what comes from all of these ideas in my 75th year. Love you – you are beautiful! And with that said I do feel you. Aging is not easy, but you and I can be role models for our younger sisters.
    Karen

    • barbara stanny

      Karen, you’ve always been my mentor and role model for someone who has dealt with difficult challenges and blossomed as a result. Aging is no exception. You are a poster child for aging beautifully. I love and adore you…and so glad you’re in my life. Thanks for this lovely comment xoxoxoxo

  • Andrea

    Hi Barbara,
    I don’t have any answers…I just wanted to say that your beauty, integrity and vibrant energy shines a light for me (in my 50’s) as to what is possible for women as we age…I am noticing that we become largely invisible in magazines, on TV shows, in movies…without even being aware of it I am influenced by this as it feels that women beyond a certain age are no longer valued. Thank you for showing up, being so vulnerable and giving me lots of hope for what a full life lies ahead. Hope your birthday is a splendid celebration of the lovely life you have created.
    Andrea

    • barbara stanny

      We women of a certain age DO become invisible…but that’s mostly those in entertainment or fashion. That doesn’t have to be our fate, does it? I am just realizing this as I write this…I do NOT have to become invisible (always my biggest fear) because I’m in my 7th decade…I can still make a difference. And so can you…and everyone else. Actually Andrea, you actually gave me a lot of insight….thank you!!!! And thanks so much for your kind words. xoxo

  • amanda

    I don’t count… I refuse to identify with a Number…

    cheers!

    Amanda

  • Sherrie skipper

    Blessings to you and Happy Reappearance Day Stanny! When I imagine you circling the sun for the 70th time I understand why you are as wise as you are. And why you are as practical as you are. You’ve lived a lot in your 70 years to show for it and I admire your contributions and your success. You have a fire in your spirit that is very useful and spontaneous. It brings a great deal of happiness and relief to thousands. In my eyes you have spent your 70 years wisely.
    I am touched by your honest confessions. I imagine this honesty will be the grist that makes this part of your journey eventually lined with pearls. When I read your piece I tried to imagine what life would be like if we didn’t use numbers to calculate our own age rather we just used numbers to calculate our wealth. LOL. But truthfully I did think how nice it would be if we applied the same generosity to age as we do to our wealth . We’d all rather have 70 thousand dollars or even $70 in our pockets so why does having 70 on our faces and hands seem to matter so much? Makes me laugh to think about it. Perhaps we can imagine being a culture of women who measure our lives according to the dreams we have and the dreams we’ve fulfilled. We look deeply into each other’s eyes, and at each other’s bodies when we’re at the beach and see them as records of achievement for how they served us in getting what we wanted the most out of life. Then we could stand and admiration of ourselves and others.
    All this pressure is killing us. I am convinced of that. It keeps us separate from ourselves and separated from others. I pray often to find maturity so being free of these low trappings will be envitable. Ha! I pray to be old enough so I don’t care about not being young enough! I do during endless moments in traffic and on long walks imagine freedom overtaking the low trappings. I talk to myself about being free from these worries and concerns. So free that I get to enjoy the divine joke that this reality is. “Don’t miss the Divine Comedy,” I tell myself. “Buy the face cream but remember the true theater of my life requires me to show up in all of these faces.” I wish for this dominion over myself so that more love can come in. Love is not numerical thank Goddess, thank God. Maybe this is where numbers and wealth part company.
    Good luck!

    I love you and thank the divine for you,
    Sherrie
    -Sherman oaks

  • barbara stanny

    Wow, Sherrie…everything you wrote is so profound. So right on. So insightful. I’m going to reread it again…and just take it in every word. Thank you so much for coming to my blog. And sharing your wisdom. You’ve always been a ray of light in my world. I miss you…let’s catch up soon xoxoxo

  • Suzy Carroll

    I loved this blog Barbara! You are such a rock star and so inspiring and so fucking real!!! Chronologically 70, but biologically…not even close! You know how some schools are getting rid of the A-F grading system? Maybe it’s time to get rid of our ‘aging by numbers’ system, although I am beyond grateful for all the wisdom you have amassed and I’m beyond grateful to have a ‘sister’ like you! xoxo

  • Amy (DawningStar) Verebay

    I adore you, Barbara and I feel you so much in this one. I feel this deeply ingrained ageism as well l in my own life, in relation to having babies. Conventional thought tells me I’m old. Even though I had a personal conversation with Christiane Northrop on the subject, who said that convention is meaningless, I find myself sucked into worry and not trusting life in a way that is unprecedented in my life.
    Just know that I look up to you as a fellow late bloomer in the game of life, and our flowers, our blossoming are so very much needed in the world right now. Please don’t ever think of stopping before your heart tells you to. I am a stand for honoring wisdom and life experience as far more valuable than youth. I am a stand for bringing back the cultural phenomenon that wise women are cherished, listened to, deferred to. I am a stand for bringing back the honored Crone to our culture as where true wisdom lies. I aspire to that place, ultimately. You are still quite young to be an elder even, please claim that role for yourself. Our culture desperately needs it. I have learned it cannot be bestowed, that one must know for themselves that their life experience has value, and the role of elderhood is an essential part of a healthy culture. Claiming that is extremely powerful & sorely missing in this western mindset. Bless you, Barbara. You are an extraordinary woman, I am extremely grateful our paths have crossed in this lifetime. With love from the ages, Amy Dawn*

    • barbara stanny

      Wow, Amy, your words, your passion, your wisdom really hit home with me. I actually pride myself on being a tribal elder…why can’t I feel confident about the aging required to become one. You’ve really made me think. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully xoxoxoxo

  • Pat

    Barbara, you are amazing and will just become more amazing with each year! Look for evidence of the fabulous 70’s! Jaclyn Smith, Cher, Barbara Streisand, Diane Keaton, Marilu Henner, Grace Slick, Jane Fonda, Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, Dolly Parton, and so many more at this link that you get the picture – it’s just a number! You make it what you want it to be! <3 http://www.imdb.com/list/ls051323928/

    • barbara stanny

      I LOVE that list. That really changes my perception of aging, when I think of those women. I’m so glad you took the time to send me the list and link…it made a HUGE difference! Thank you so much Pat…you really helped me.

  • Conni Segal

    Barbara,
    I don’t know you very well, but I know you enough to know that you are like a fine wine getting better with age. You are a great roll model in our community. Thank you, bless you, and Happy Birthday!!
    Connie

    • barbara stanny

      Oh Connie…that is so sooooo sweet of you. It means the world to me that you took the time to tell me this! Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!

  • Oceana Leblanc

    Barbara, this is so timely. I just did a facebook live last night on my wall that’s all about coming into elder, and the spiritual aspect of how we can begin to see ourselves. Please check it out.
    I love you, your gorgeous authenticity and integrity, and your radiant beauty.
    You are a Sovereign Queen in my heart.
    Love you,
    Oceana

    • barbara stanny

      Bless you Oceana….I can’t wait to check out your video. Big hugs and love…it felt so good to hear from you!!!

  • Ann

    Aloha Barbra,

    Louise Hay offered we love our age, whatever it is. Having taken your Workshop in 2008, I love what you, too, are putting into the collective consciousness for women and our abundance.

    We get to choose our Resonance with our True Self at every age. Thanks for the opportunity to vibrantly engage.
    Happy Birthday
    Ann

    • barbara stanny

      Louise Hay really knew how to age with dignity and grace. It really helps to have role models like her. Thank Ann. And I so appreciate all your kind words and bday wishes. Hugs xoxox

  • LJ Anderson

    I heard a homeless man at a church food bank in Tulsa, OK last summer say “Every day I’m above ground is a good day!” This was someone who had so little and yet he had a big smile on his face and a grateful attitude. Regrets and comparison are deadly!
    A few years ago I sat with a group of women in their ’70s and they were dynamic, looked great, and their advice to me when I asked how it was being in your ’70s was to not talk about your health problems. They found a lot of their friends who did that boring–and they instead wanted to be fully engaged in life. They were so inspirational that I’ve kept them in my mind. I also look at what the alternative would be–not getting there–and think I need to be intentionally grateful, have a few important goals, and make the most of the time I have.
    PS When I was a very traumatized woman going through divorce in 2000, my strong mother bought me your book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, and I read it dozens of times and marked it up. Thanks so much for all you do to empower women!

    • barbara stanny

      Everything you said is sooooo true! Just what I needed to hear. And that’s so cool your mom got my book for you…and even better that it helped. Thanks you so much LJ.

  • Leanne

    So if you can change your financial beliefs then why not aging? Marisa Peer completely changed my view on aging and the effects are being noticed by my friends. Her book is how to look 10 years younger so if you changed your beliefs so that would make you 60. Problem solved 🙂
    https://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Be-Younger-younger/dp/0349402825/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8#immersive-view_1510786403576

  • Marie

    Paris.
    Pampering.

    Happy Birthday Barbara!

  • Gianna Miceli

    Stanny YOU are an ageless GODDESS!! To me, as an all natural anti-aging expert, what makes me feel young, is self care. Exercise. Hikes in nature. Eating well. The confidence in my wisdom. My mother is 72 and she goes to Orange Theory for workout classes. She is rowing, and on the treadmill, and lifting weights. She just got two puppies. Her health his perfect, but then she’s under my guidance. lol Great post. You are sharing your brilliance with the world, and that is an honor for us. Nobody looks at you as old.

    • barbara stanny

      How wonderful to hear from the anti aging Goddess herself. I so adore you Gianna. And I really appreciate your wonderful support. Means a lot to me. xoxoxo

  • Maike

    Dear Barbara!! Thank you for writing that! And by the way, you look like fifty to me!
    I found what Fumiko Takatsu (The Face Yoga Method) wrote in this post on pro-aging beautiful – she gave me a different outlook on life
    https://www.facebook.com/faceyogafumiko/videos/1436129439835168/?hc_ref=ARSyVi6p3PN-jlrfEIyEU9NlT_XwOTVvnCJ169MOuTckbAO5MU_qZOOpMz_DMYoZkiY
    – also I found that hormones are very powerful indeed – stumbled across this (admittedly very advertising-/merchandising-prone) program of Dr. Jade’s – he’s the first one I came across to actually take hormones into account when it comes to staying/feeling fit and lean – took a quiz at the beginning that totally nailed my ‘hormone type’ – just doing the sports of the program, but boy, it does me good – it’s for post-menopausal women, as well
    All the best, and you are marvellous <3 <3
    Maike

    • barbara stanny

      Maike…I LOVED THIS VIDEO. I’m totally going to follow Fumiko…I’m so glad to know about her. And I will check out Dr. Jade’s program. Great resources. I so appreciate you sharing them with me!!! Thanks so much.

  • Margie

    Great discussion! My advice:
    1) Write another book to celebrate (any genre fiction or non-fiction): we want to hear you.
    2) Do what Louise Hay did and claim the next decade as the most exciting or adventurous or best, etc.
    3) Take my word for it and spend time on an Italian island where they worship women of any age (as long as she dresses stylish). You will get so many compliments, you will fall in love with your age.

    • barbara stanny

      Great list. And very wise. Just not sure about the Italian Island (though it did make me laugh)…I actuallyhave a man who worships me (he really does), even when I’m in sweats. I’m so grateful for him…and for you, Margie, for taking the time to give me these suggestion. Thanks.

  • Claudia

    Hi Barbara,

    Ah yes that word old and age. They have such negative associations through being used to discriminate.
    I enjoy seeing my age as life experience. In practise, I have been experiencing life for 4,5 decades and been witness to a lot of adventures. I dont have an issue with age but my friends do, so I like to share with them, how fortunate they are, after 50 we’re masters of something or a few things. Not only work but relationships count…
    Hope this helps somewhat…

  • Suzanne

    Barbara, even though I’ve only lurked on your monthly phone calls, I already know you are wise, helpful, kind, curious, encouraging, active, self-respecting, brave, respectful, cooperative, articulate, persistent, patient, committed, and positive. You create community, spread perspective and hope, and share joy. If that’s what 70 looks like, all I can say is “Bring it on!!!”

    P.S. Everyone’s comments here have been incredibly loving and wise. I will always need this. Bookmarking!

    • barbara stanny

      Awwww, Suzannne….Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this beautiful email filled with the most wonderful adjectives. I’m printing it out for those days when I need a lift…you are an angel. I deeply appreciate you!

  • Freida

    Greetings Barbara:

    I cant take you some where I haven’t been yet, but I will say, now is the time to focus on your legacy. The bible says: “Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures; yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.” Psalms 90:10

    No longer focus on what you need as God has blessed you abundantly, but the needs of others. But still take time to enjoy the sunset years of your life. Maintain your health, and your positive outlook on life, as its not over till its over.

    Spend time making memories, and taking photos to make memories last, and travel to places you never been, sit and have meaningful conversations with loved ones, and show love to all, and eat all the good foods you want.

    Listen everyday to Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer and they will keep your mind and heart in the right place, along with reading the Bible daily.

    Keep those like me still in the struggle financially, to gain wealth and wisdom to enjoy a good life in this world, in prayer. Continue to share wisdom on your website “without” cost to those who can’t afford it like me, so that your seeds sown may flourish abundantly one day.

    With Love,

    Freida

  • Joan Goldberg

    Dear Barbara: You look great! I never would have guessed you’re entering your 70’s. I think some of the things that have sustained me are a sense of curiosity and always being open to others’ ideas and opinions. When I was younger I was more inclined to reject new things. But at age 76 I took Mama Gena’sMastery Course. It was also at that age, I did my first strip tease (on the stage at Mama Gena’s). I am not telling you to do a strip tease,. But be open to things that are considered outrageous to “little old ladies.” When I celebrated my 3/4 of a century birthday, I did not have a tea party at a fancy hotel. Since I’ve been going to the gym 3 times a week since I entered menopause , I decided to have my birthday “party” in a children’s gym. My trainer also runs an after school gym in the same building as the adult
    gym. I engaged someone who teaches Zumba for seniors and a hula dance teacher. Of course, I wore
    a hula outfit to my party. When we had our “picnic” where the kids eat, we all enjoyed the cute drawings of the kids. Instead of moping about my investments, I decided at the eve of my 78th birthday to take your 5 month course. Learn something new. In 2017 I am learning to use an iPhone. Next year I will learn to play the piano. I saved the best for last. Spoil yourself. Take time off and go for massages, facials, Look into the mirror and tell yourself how lovely, beautiful and glamorous (and any other adjective of your choosing) you are.

  • Charlene

    Beloved Barbara!!! What a beautiful passage you have written! I love you from here to pluto and back!

    I cannot offer one ounce of advice on aging and to attempt it feels like I would be diminishing your experience. I am also not going to tell you how awesome you are (yet again) to make you feel ‘better’ temporarily.

    I am certain, you know this is an opportunity to go deeper and higher. There is an intelligence in your shame. I invite you to go into your shame even more than you already have. What I can offer to you is my definition of shame:

    Shame is our inability to accept our own humanness.

    What are you not accepting that is crying for acceptance? When people (including me) are able to feel the depth of their shame, and accept what is being rejected, the shame ends up losing its power. Often it dissipates. This creates a depth of freedom within and without.

    I trust you will find relief somewhere, somehow. You are a beautiful beacon of light.

    Thank you for forging the path and being such a wonderful role model for me.

    Bless you,
    Charlene
    many x’s and o’s

  • Kathy

    Hi Barbara
    I would ask you to join me in showing the world that being old is the best thing one could strive to be. I want everyone to look at me and say, “I can’t wait to be your age so I can live life with such joyous abandon!” There are so many graces that come with the passing years. They are worth every wrinkle.

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Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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