The Feminine Face of Power

Written by Barbara Huson

Let’s talk about Power, shall we? It’s a crucial conversation if you’re aspiring to affluence. You cannot possibly create and retain wealth without also owning your power.

Despite what ‘they’ say, money does not give you power. Take my marriage to the gambler. I had the money, but he had the power. I gave it to him. He made all the financial decisions because I was too scared.

I’m convinced that women’s difficulties with money have very little to do with money per se and everything to do with our fear of or ambivalence about power.

The problem: We’ve don’t understand power from a feminine perspective. For whatever reason, the sexes view power very differently.

Women exercise power by building relationships. Men by asserting control. Women work best in collaborative models of ‘power with.’ Men favor a hierarchical model of ‘power over.’

The Trinity of Trust

Written by Barbara Huson

Years ago, I trusted my husband with my money. He was a stockbroker after all. But, alas, he lost almost everything. After our divorce, I was terrified to trust anyone again.

Then at some point it dawned on me. I couldn’t just ignore money. I needed to start trusting myself. But how? I was financially clueless.

If you’re in a similar situation, let me introduce you to what I’ve come to call the Trinity of Trust. It’s how I began the journey of reclaiming my power and taking financial responsibility

As I spent time connecting with each point on this triangle, I found myself building a firm foundation of trust in myself, in others who were trustworthy, and in the my Higher Power.

Are You a Victim of Financial Abuse? 10 Red Flags

Written by Barbara Huson

Financial abuse is a serious form of domestic violence, but no one ever really talks about it.

While financial abuse is devastating, many, like me, may be totally unaware it’s happening to them.

In the beginning, financial abuse can be so subtle it’s easily misinterpreted as a loving gesture.

“I don’t want finances to stress you,” my first husband would say to me. “Let, me take care of the money and I’ll give you what you need.”

However, as in my case, the abuser’s efforts to control will, in time, escalate into intimidation, threats of violence and often, physical harm.

How do you know if you’re a victim? Here are 10 Red Flags. Read them carefully and circle the ones that apply to you:

Your partner refuses to talk about money. They get defensive, angry or accusatory.
Your partner goes on spending binges, buying expensive items you really can’t afford.
Your partner racks up debt on your credit card.
Your partner frequently gambles, at the casino, the race track, or in the stock market.
You get frequent calls from creditors, which your partner dismisses or assures you everything is ok.
Your partner keeps saying you don’t have enough to buy certain items, which doesn’t make sense based on your incomes.
Your partner uses money to control you or restricts your access to money.
You question their financial decisions, and they immediately turns the table and makes you wrong.
You notice how often you excuse, justify, rationalize their behavior to others and yourself.
Your gut tells you something is wrong.

If even one of these red flags feels even remotely familiar, I urge you to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 (SAFE). They are there, 24/7, to give you the help, information and resources you need.

Have you been affected by financial abuse? Share in the comments below. Your story could help someone else.

Negotiation—A Novel Approach

Written by Barbara Huson

I admit it. When it comes to negotiating—anything—I always lapse into a temporary panic. Words like adversarial, nerve-wracking and intimidating leap to mind.

However, when I met Rhonda Noordyk and was a guest on her podcast, Divorce Conversations for Women, my whole attitude changed. A former financial advisor, Rhonda left the industry in 2014 to become a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. She created The Woman’s Financial Wellness Center, devoted to ensuring women achieve financial justice in a divorce.

I was instantly impressed with Rhonda’s sunny disposition and her razor-sharp intelligence, so I invited her to speak to my online community, The Wealth Connection.

She completely transformed my view of negotiation by introducing the acronym, ANOT.

“It’s a very powerful acronym,” Rhonda explained. “Our clients have had 100% success rate with it. In fact, it’s great for all kinds of communications, even emails.”

What the Hell is Robo-Investing? And Why Should I Care?

Written by Barbara Huson

In the beginning, I was skeptical…very skeptical. Now I’m a raging fan.

Robo-Investing is the best thing to happen for investors since index funds were invented.

In Robo-Investing, a computer—not a person—creates and manages a portfolio of index funds and ETFs. What are advantages for you, the investor?

The price is right. Fees are very low (0.15% to 0.50% compared to 1%-2% for human advisors). Plus there’s either no, or a very low, minimum required to open an account.

It’s easy to start. You fill out a short questionnaire to assess your situation, goals and risk tolerance, then choose among suggested portfolios based on your answers. That’s it…you’re ready to invest.

Great customer service, at no extra charge. Offerings include automatic rebalancing so your portfolio doesn’t get out of whack; tax harvesting to offset capital gains; retirement planning; and a variety of educational classes.

Compare Robo-Investing to traditional advisors or managed funds, which require much higher minimums, charge much higher fees, yet consistently underperform indexing (often called passive investing) over time.

No wonder Robo-Investing has experienced explosive growth since it started in 2008.

Interested? Here are my recommendations. Check them out.

Betterment and Wealthfront, were the first ones to launch in 2008 and still are the highest rated,
Vanguard is the largest and most popular.
Ellevest was created by women especially for women.

Have you tried Robo-Investing? Share your experience.

The Secret to Financial Miracles (for proof it works, read till the very end)

Written by Barbara Huson

(This was inspired by a discussion last week, in my online community, The Wealth Connection. I listened with awe to women who put this principle into practice and reported miraculous changes.)

You want to create financial miracles? Let me tell you how.

The secret is deceptively simple, incredibly powerful, yet can be so uncomfortable, many won’t want to do it.

But if you’re willing to try, and you’re consistent in your efforts, you’ll experience significant change, often within a very short time.

The secret is this: Stop telling your old story.

Stop talking about your life as it’s been: your flaws, your fears, your sorrows and distress. And start talking about the life you desire to create: who you want to be, what you want to do, how you want to feel, as if it’s already true.

“What you share you strengthen,” A Course in Miracles explains.

If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

She had just separated from her husband, moved to a new town and was trying to restart the coaching business she’d put on hold.

Yet she kept procrastinating doing the things she needed to do.

“I feel stuck,” she sighed. “Like I hit a brick wall.”

“You’re not stuck,” I told her. “You’re in transition. And transitions are a bitch.”

I spoke from experience. I remember, back in the 80’s, when I moved to San Francisco, a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I sank into a confusing funk. This wasn’t what I expected.

That’s when I read Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges and understood what was happening. A transition is a gradual psychological process of reorienting to the new situation.

Primitive societies had rituals to give meaning to life’s transitions. Members were taken out of their villages, into the wilderness, where they didn’t know what was going to happen next.

“Every time we make a change,” Bridges writes, “We take a metaphorical journey into the wilderness.”

The wilderness is full of uncertainty, indecision, confusion, disorientation, vacillation–all a vital part of the reorientation process.

The ‘in-between’ period is not a time to commit. Or take decisive action. Or even make plans.

It is a time to feel our feelings, grieve our losses, practice self-care and, like the primitives, commune with our spirit guides.

We need to unhook from the past before we can create a new future.

“The more you can tolerate, even embrace, uncertainty,” I told my client, “the quicker you will get through it.”

Eventually, I assured her, your energy will return. Opportunities will appear. Loose ends will come together. Out of the chaos of uncertainty, new beginnings will inevitably emerge.

How have you successfully navigated transitions in your life? Leave me a comment below.

The Secret to $uccess No One Ever Talks About

Written by Barbara Huson

I was mystified. It was 1994. I’d begun researching my first book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, by interviewing women who worked in the financial industry—investment advisors, mortgage brokers, bankers, etc.

After all, I assumed, financial professionals were the perfect candidates to illustrate the book’s theme: how women went from being ignorant to smart about money.

Believe me, I never expected how many would tell me: “I do this for a living, but my own finances are a mess!”

How could that be?? Decades later I discovered the reason. In a word, Self-Efficacy, or rather the lack of it.

Self-efficacy—a psychological concept developed by the Stanford psychologist Albert Bandera—is the belief that I can do whatever I decide to do, trusting I’ll succeed no matter what.

It’s the difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it, between being highly competent and feeling truly confident.

Has It Clicked Yet?

Written by Barbara Huson

I call it the Click. It’s that ‘aha’ moment when you recognize, with every fiber of your being, that you deserve to earn more for no other reason than you’re worth it

Without the Click, upping your income can be an uphill battle. But once you realize how capable you are, how much value you offer, barriers that once felt insurmountable will begin to disappear.

You see, there is a direct correlation between your level of self-esteem and the amount that you earn.

Virtually every high earner I interviewed for my books swore money was not her primary motivation. But at the same time, she fully expected to be highly compensated because she knew she was worth it.

How do you build that kind of self esteem? How do you access the Click? Simply put: Do
what you dread.

That’s probably not what you wanted to hear. But trust me, there’s no better way to boost your confidence than by doing what you are scared to do or don’t believe you can do.

All the Answers Aren’t ‘Out There’

Written by Barbara Huson

I spent most of my adult life desperately trying to figure out finances. I dutifully went to classes, read books, talked to advisors. Nothing helped.

And then I began journaling about my experience. That’s when I had a realization that, I know now, began the rewiring process in my brain and I finally began to breakthrough my formidable blocks.

That realization led me to create a fundamentally different approach to empowering women financially—the approach I now call the Rewire Process.

I realized that traditional financial education focused almost exclusively on the practical facts. And in too many cases, it still does today.

But my experience taught me that when the facts don’t make sense and all of the practical knowledge makes no difference, the key may be hidden inside you.

As I wrote in my journal, I heard that familiar voice in my head telling me how stupid I was. But instead of letting that voice hold sway, as I always had, I decided to get to know it better. I asked the voice where it came from and what it wanted.

Blog

The Feminine Face of Power

The Trinity of Trust

Are You a Victim of Financial Abuse? 10 Red Flags

Negotiation—A Novel Approach

What the Hell is Robo-Investing? And Why Should I Care?

The Secret to Financial Miracles (for proof it works, read till the very end)

If You’re in Transition, Read This!!!

The Secret to $uccess No One Ever Talks About

Has It Clicked Yet?

All the Answers Aren’t ‘Out There’

Meet Barbara Huson

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