Entering the Discomfort Zone

Written by Barbara Huson

“I really want to make more money,” she said, sighing heavily, “but I find it difficult being comfortable asking for what I’m worth.”

This woman was missing the point. I don’t know anyone who feels comfortable raising their prices or asking for a raise. Yet, underearners will sabotage their success rather than endure the discomfort.

It’s astonishing how fiercely we cling to our so-called Comfort Zones. What a misnomer. These places are anything but comfortable. They’re just familiar and predictable.

Whenever you decide to do something different–whether it’s making more money or losing more weight—you must enter the Discomfort Zone–the space between where you are now and where you want to be.

Investing During a Pandemic…Isn’t it too Risky?

Written by Barbara Huson

Yes we’re in a pandemic. Yes, investing now may feel very risky. But understanding risk is what makes you wealthy. And so few people actually get it.

You want to know your most dangerous risk? It’s not the market’s gyrations. It’s your emotional reactions.

The emerging field of neurofinance has proven that most investors, regardless of gender, tend to act on emotions, not rational thinking, when making financial decisions.

The reason? Our brain registers risk even before we’re conscious of it. Consequently we tend to make rash decisions that rarely end well, even if we know better.

So when markets take a tumble, our emotions, especially fear, take over. And we make very bad decisions. It also happens in reverse.

A Spiritual Approach to Financial Angst

Written by Barbara Huson

I woke up this morning, with an almost obsessive thought. It’s time to preach the gospel of the Metafiscal.

Metafiscal, a word I coined, blends financial knowledge with metaphysical principles, melding the spiritual with the practical in regards to money. You don’t have to be religious to be Metafiscal. I’m certainly not.

But I do agree with Deepak Chopra who said, “We need a more spiritual approach to success and to affluence.”
Especially in the midst of so much financial angst and upheaval.

It’s no accident that “In God We Trust” is emblazoned on our currency. God can be whatever you’re comfortable with—a personified deity, a Higher Power, your inner wisdom or an all-encompassing energy far greater than our earthly selves.

When I was going through my financial crisis, with a million-dollar tax bill and no money in the bank, I was sure God had abandoned me. But eventually I realized, it was me who had abandoned God.

“When you think God has not answered your call,” declares A Course in Miracles, “you have not answered His.”

I did as the Course instructed. “Learn to be quiet, for His Voice is heard in stillness.” I spent hours in prayer, meditation, along with learning about money. Over time, the veils began to lift. Slowly I took the financial reins, and shockingly, I actually enjoyed the process.

I’m convinced that healing financial angst is not meant to be a solitary journey. When you focus on communing with the Divine, requesting guidance, developing a deep sense of trust in the inexplicable forces of the Universe, along with studying the practical facts, everything changes.

Financial success becomes a transformational journey, a sacred initiation, empowering you to become all you’re meant to be and to do what you’re put on this planet to do.

I’d love to hear how you’ve combined the spiritual with the practical in your financial journey. And if you haven’t, do you think it might be time? Leave me a comment below.

Don’t Let Your Brain Be The Boss!

Written by Barbara Huson

Quick. Pick one. Which would you rather have: (A) Higher earnings or (B) More in savings?

I’m guessing you went for (A). Most people do. We tend to be far more concerned with increasing our income rather than growing our net worth. But hey, it’s not our fault. That’s how our brain is wired.

A recent Cornell University study discovered that our brains are biased toward earning and against saving. Perhaps it’s the immediate gratification our paychecks offer while socking away savings feels about as gratifying as watching grass grow

“Fundamentally it comes down to this,” the study reported. “Saving is less valuable to our brains, which devote less attentional resources to it. Our brains find saving more difficult to attend to.”

If ever there was a strong case for rewiring our brains, this is it. Fixating on earnings can be fool hardy. I call it the Illusion of Affluence. I see it all the time with successful women. Their significant earnings give them the illusion, but not the security, of true abundance.

It’s a fact. Wealth doesn’t come from what you earn. Wealth comes from what you save. But wait…getting rich isn’t the only reason to be a saver.

Consider the title of a 2016 study: “How Your Bank Balance Buys Happiness: The Importance of “Cash on Hand” to Life Satisfaction.” This study, as reported in What the Elle (my favorite financial newsletter), found that higher savings is a better predictor of happiness and well-being than hefty incomes.

Add to that the result of the 2018 Ellevest Census: “The #1 confidence booster for women is saving and investing (63% of women ranked it over things like salary and education).

The message is clear. Don’t let your brain be the boss. Instead, train your mind to rewire your brain to focus on savings rather than obsessing about earnings. (If you haven’t read my free ebook, The Rewire Response, you can get on this page.)

Which would you choose: (A) A big fat paycheck or (B) lots of money set aside? Leave me a comment and tell me why.

The Real Reason You Self-Sabotage

Written by Barbara Huson

Think about it. Aren’t all acts of self-sabotage really misguided attempts at self-protection? Though very few see it that way.

Countless women come to me, chiding themselves unmercifully for sabotaging their success by making foolish decisions. Maybe you’ve done it too.

Spending more than you have. Avoiding what you know is important. Deferring decisions to another. Giving generously while depriving yourself.

Most of my adulthood was one giant act of financial self-sabotage. I avoided anything to do with money, giving my husband control, while I spent freely and gave generously.

Even after my divorce, I continued to ignore money. Until I got tax bills for over a million dollars…for back taxes my ex didn’t pay, illegal deals he got us in.

I was furious at my ex, who quickly left the country. Furious at my dad, who wouldn’t lend me the money. But most of all, furious at myself for being so irresponsible.

FIRE!!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

My family have all been affected by the wildfires. As I write, I look out the window and cannot see the mountains through the heavy layer of smoke from distant fires.

For my children in California and Oregon, the fires are dangerously close by.

My daughter Julie and her 3 year-old were packed to evacuate, as fires raged 4 blocks from her house. I sat by the phone, hysterically waiting.

Hours later, a miracle occurred. The winds suddenly changed direction. Her home was saved. But the neighboring towns were demolished.

Disaster seems to be the theme for this year. But, according to the Chinese, the word for crisis consist of two characters, one for risk, another for opportunity. And I wonder…

Could these disasters actually be opportunities for growth and transformation?

Clearly, a new normal is emerging. Life as we know it will never be the same. Perhaps the pandemic, the riots, the natural calamities and whatever else may befall us, are in truth, a wake-up call from our Soul with an urgent message:

Stop what you’re doing. Pay attention. The world is changing. In order to thrive, you must change too.

Is Money Your Drug of Choice?

Written by Barbara Huson

How often do we use money, like Novocain, to numb the pain in our lives or the pressures at work? Instead of making things better, spending just gets us deeper into trouble.

Yet we justify our shopping sprees with thoughts like, “I’m going through a divorce. I deserve this,” or “I hate my job. At least I can enjoy my life.”

The real problem: we’re not honest with ourselves. Our denial produces considerable debt.

Getting out of denial is a prerequisite for prosperity. Credit card debt is insidious, but not insurmountable.

Making minimum payments can take 30 years or more to pay off (because 75 percent of what you pay goes toward the accumulating interest).

However, I’ve interviewed hundreds of women who have risen from the ashes of their once reckless spending. They did so by taking a series of steps:

They sought help (a book*, counselor, or support group like Debtors Anonymous)
They stopped using credit cards (no exceptions, no excuses)
They lowered their interest payments (negotiating with creditors or transferring the balance to a lowered interest card)
They got crystal clear on their expenses (writing down everything they spent)
They stopped overspending (by putting their expenses into categories, they saw where to Shave and Save)
They followed a plan to pay down their debt (www.nfcc.org can help)

What are you doing to get out of both denial and debt? Share here.

*I highly recommend How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt & Live Prosperously by Jerrod Mundis (based on the principles of DA)

Beware of Always Wanting More

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ve spent most of my life yearning for more…more money, more success, more sales, the list goes on.

I proudly considered my perpetual wanting a healthy sign of a robust ambition. Until I began studying neuroscience and realized how truly unhealthy this kind of thinking actually is.

Here’s why: We literally sculpt our brain by what we dwell on. The more we think a thought or feel an emotion, the stronger that neuropathway becomes in our brain.

By constantly hungering for more, I was inadvertently telling my brain “I don’t have enough.”

The more I repeated that thought, the stronger the “not enough” neuropathway grew, until I’d unconsciously do things that kept reinforcing my experience of ‘not enough.’

Slowly it dawned on me. How can I expect more, if I was repeatedly focused on what I had not yet attained? Clearly, I needed to shift my focus to rewire my brain.

I decided to experiment. Every time I felt myself coveting anything, I stopped, took note and shifted into appreciation for what I currently had.

Say Thank-You to the Naysayers

Written by Barbara Huson

I have a theory. Each of us has a Patron Saint of Risk. Every time you dare do something different—make more money, write a book, start a business—this benevolent cosmic being sends a flock of angels (disguised as negative people) to tell you what a dumb idea it is.

These naysayers serve a very important function. They come to test your level of commitment. If you notice, the more tentative you feel, the more pessimistic they sound.

If they succeed in discouraging you, be grateful. Deep down, you just didn’t have the moxie to make it work.

If on the other hand, you are determined to proceed despite the pessimists, you’re sure to succeed. Commitment is what keeps you going despite rejection, disappointment or failure.

In fact, to someone committed, failure doesn’t exist. It’s simply one more thing that didn’t work.

What’s frustrating, however, is when you vow to accomplish something but to no avail. Projects fall apart. People renege on promises. Opportunities dry up. Your enthusiasm wanes. What then?

This may be a sign you’re on the wrong track. When you’re attempting something at odds with your authentic desires, your resolve will fizzle at the first hurdle.

A few years back, I was determined to learn to ride a motorcycle. My husband, a Harley fanatic, has two in our garage. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could ride one alongside him?

But when I took a tumble on the first day of motorcycle class, that was it. Clearly I wasn’t committed. I was quite happy to ride on the back of my hubby’s bike, thank you very much.

When you find yourself perpetually thwarted with a project you’ve tackled, here’s my advice. Instead of beating yourself up or struggling mightily to make it work, step back and dig deeper.

Is this something I want so badly that I’m willing to fall down repeatedly until I finally succeed? Is this my soul’s yearning or simply an arbitrary ‘should’ I put on myself?

As D.H. Lawrence once advised: “If it doesn’t absorb you, if it isn’t fun, don’t do it!” Amen to that!

Check in with yourself—are there any projects in your life you should release? Leave me a comment below.

National Women’s (semi)Equality Day

Written by Barbara Huson

Today is National Women’s Equality Day. Exactly 100 years ago the 19th amendment was passed, giving women the right to vote.

Honestly, I know I should be celebrating this victory. But I’m having a hard time getting in the mood.

Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m beyond grateful to those gutsy, courageous suffragettes.

But in the last few days, I listened to a Ted Talk by one of my favorite actresses, read a WSJ profile of an acclaimed microbiologist and coached a high level executive…all of whom wearily spoke of their struggles with sexism.

Clearly full equality is far from won. The Equal Rights Amendment, proposed in 1923, has yet to be ratified. Face it, we can’t rely on the government to level the playing field for us.

If we want a seat at the table, it’s our job to take it. We can start by becoming the change we want to see in the world.

Blog

Entering the Discomfort Zone

Investing During a Pandemic…Isn’t it too Risky?

A Spiritual Approach to Financial Angst

Don’t Let Your Brain Be The Boss!

The Real Reason You Self-Sabotage

FIRE!!!!

Is Money Your Drug of Choice?

Beware of Always Wanting More

Say Thank-You to the Naysayers

National Women’s (semi)Equality Day

Meet Barbara Huson

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