Your Lot in Life?

Written by Barbara Huson

You really want a different experience with money. You’ve tried everything, with little success. And you’re getting frustrated.

Maybe you’ve repeated affirmations, created vision boards, and talked nonstop about your desires for having more (aka The Law of Attraction)…and nothing changes. Not one thing.

Maybe you’ve started creating a budget, paying down your debt, or making more sales calls only to find yourself losing focus, losing interest, or losing patience.

Or maybe you’ve been so busy bringing in the bucks, you find yourself burnt out, feeling neither happy nor free.

So, why despite all your efforts, aren’t you making much headway toward a better, more prosperous life?

I promise, it has nothing to do with bad luck, a family curse, or your lot in life. It has EVERYTHING to do with your thoughts and beliefs about yourself and/or money.

I’d like to suggest that you try something different. Spend some time in self-reflection. Journal about the insights that come up for you around your beliefs about money and wealth.

What if you…

examine your limiting beliefs?
face your fears, meet your demons?
give voice to repressed emotions?
explore early messages you got about money (from family, church, society)?

…and begin to replace what no longer serves you with healthy, more powerful behaviors.

Where could start changing your thoughts and beliefs about wealth? Share below.

Want to Feel More Powerful?

Written by Barbara Huson

It was a conversation I’ll never forget.

Soon after I sold my first book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart about Money, I flew to New York and had lunch with my editor from Penguin. As we munched on our salads, I casually asked if she ever invested.

“Oh no,” she said, emphatically. “I have no money.” I could see she was embarrassed, so I dropped the subject.

A year after my book hit the stores, she called to confess.

“Remember that lunch when I told you I had no money,” she said. “Well I did, but it was all sitting in cash in my 401 (k). After working on your book, I realized how foolish that was. So I started educating myself, found an advisor, and it’s now fully invested. I even collected my spare change in a jar every night, and I’ve invested that too.”

She paused a moment, then added: “I watch the market go up and down, but I’m in it for the long haul, so I’m not worried at all.”
My heart burst, I was so excited. But then she said what I hear all the time from women when they finally understand investing.

“I have to tell you, Barbara, I feel so powerful.”

Those four words captured the essence of my life’s work; why I’m so passionate about helping women financially. Sure, I want them to prosper. But more importantly, I want every woman to realize that by taking charge of her money, she’s taking charge of her life. The incredible sense of power this brings is a seriously intoxicating high.

The Mind/Body Connection

Written by Barbara Huson

Why do we do it? Spend more than we have. Save less than we need. Ignore our finances altogether.

Blame it on your brain.

Let me explain. Your brain consists of billions of nerve cells which connect to each other via neuropathways.

The more you think a thought or feel an emotion, the stronger a neuropathway grows. Eventually, a well-worn pathway becomes a hard-wired habit.

Let’s say you constantly stress because there’s never enough. That thought— ‘never enough’ —stimulates your brain to produce and transfer chemicals to the appropriate pathways.

The more you repeat that thought, the stronger the neuropathway grows until you automatically do things that leave you with not enough.

All the effort, will power, discipline, good intentions and financial facts in the world won’t change anything.

Your brain forces your behavior to abide by its wiring.

The key is not to focus on changing your behavior…which is exactly what most financial classes focus on.

Maybe you’ve noticed. It doesn’t work.

The solution— focus on changing your thoughts. What flows through your mind, wires your brain.

What thoughts do you really focus on? Share here.

Baffled…

Written by Barbara Huson

For over 20 years, I’ve been baffled.

Sure, we women have become excellent dollar watchers and bargain hunters. But investors? Forget about it. We want to learn, but lack the confidence to act.

And here’s what’s really baffling. Once women enter in the market, we’re actually better investors than men.

What’s up with this??? The answer, I’ve discovered, lies in our brain.

Women and men’s brains are different and process information differently.

Men see investment risk as a challenge. Women see investment risk as a threat.

Men measure success by beating an index or their peers. Women measure success by meeting their goals and helping others.

Men, in their competitiveness, trade stocks frequently. Women, with our lack confidence, tend to buy and hold. A much better strategy over time.

Here’s the irony. Our lack of confidence actually works in our favor.

The more I study neuroscience, the more I’m convinced. Rather than avoiding investing because it feels like a threat, let’s focus on rewiring our brains to become confident investors.

To All Money Avoiders…

Written by Barbara Huson

I see it all the time. Women do not get serious about money—making it or managing it—until a crisis hits.

Either their world falls apart, or feels like it’s about to. That’s when they finally take action.

I did it myself. I waited until a million dollar tax bill almost wiped me out. Not smart!! Not fun!! Not the best timing.

How about you? Are you avoiding your finances?

Instead of waiting for the pain to get worse than the fear or for your very foundation to be violently (or even mildly) shaken, try this experiment.

Focus on what inspires you and stop dwelling on what scares you.

Forget all the things that can go wrong.

Think about the joy of finally feeling financially free, the deep satisfaction of contributing to causes you’re passionate about, helping those people you love.

That’s what I finally did. I started thinking about what kind of a role model I wanted to be for my daughters instead of obsessing about my terror of screwing up.

When I made that shift, I had no choice…I could no longer let fear stop me!

What, around your finances, are you avoiding? Share below.

The Real Secret to Financial Success…it’s not what you think!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

Question: What’s the biggest pitfall to making more money?

Answer: Thinking you have to have it all figured out first.

That’s exactly what slows us down, or keeps us stuck

After 40 years of working with women I’ve found that the ones who had the most trouble reaching their goals were the ones who kept trying to figure out exactly what they needed to do to get there.

If they couldn’t figure it out, they tended to lower their sights.

That’s not the way it works at all…at least not for the thousands of successful women I’ve interviewed. Instead, what these women did was:

1. Set a goal,
2. Commit to reach it (without knowing how),
3. Take advantage of unexpected opportunities (disguised as coincidences).
That’s the real secret to success.

It’s not about trying to figure out how, but being willing to let go of control and do what comes next.

Especially if it’s something you’re scared to do.

When have you set out on a path without knowing the exact next step? Leave a comment below.

Oh-So-Subtle Self-Sabotage

Written by Barbara Huson

“What you share you strengthen.”

~A Course In Miracles

In the spirit of the above quote, ask yourself this question: Could I be undermining my success by what I’m sharing with others?

Years ago, a coach gave me a powerful assignment. For 2 weeks, I was to simply observe my conversations, without changing a thing. Just notice what I talked about, the words I used, my typical reactions…you know, the stuff I was sharing with others.

What I saw was not pretty.

I had a habit of putting myself down…without even realizing it. I’d constantly dismiss my skills (“Oh, that’s no big thing”), deflect praise (“I thought I was awful”), and diminish my successes (“But I could’ve done so much better”).

What felt, to me, like humility, was in truth, a form of self sabotage. Every word of self depreciation put another dent in my self esteem. I was strengthening my self-doubt…while destroying my self-confidence. No wonder I was struggling.

Are you doing something similar? Minimizing your achievements or underestimating your value?

I invite you to find out. Spend a few weeks simply watching what you talk about. Then write a comment below on what you observed.

Down with Financialese

Written by Barbara Huson

Have you ever met with a financial advisor, and wished you had a translator? They may be really nice people, but once they start talking, they’re suddenly speaking a foreign tongue.

“C’mon, you guys,” I want to say. “Speak in plain English.” But, truth is, I don’t hold out much hope. The onus is on us.

I’m a big believer in working with professionals…be it for a root canal or a retirement plan. And sometimes the latter can be as painful as the former! But it doesn’t need to be.

Not if you’re willing to speak up, ask for clarification, and keep asking until you understand.

As I’ve learned over the years, just because you don’t understand ‘Financialese,’ doesn’t mean you’re stupid.

It’s simply a sign to ask more questions. And keep asking. The payoff is clarity. But, I’m here to tell you, the real reward is how powerful you’ll feel for standing up for yourself.

How do you stand up for yourself?

5 Words to Boost Financial Success

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m flipping through a newspaper, when 5 words practically slap me in the face. I’ve long forgotten the article but the phrase super-glued itself to my brain.

“The Survival of the Focused.”

Those 5 words sum up the Big Secret to Financial Success.

For anyone who’s struggling to live their dream or make ends meet, I say heed those 5 words.

I’ve always considered myself blessed with an unfair advantage. I’m only good at and enjoy doing 2 things: writing and teaching. Period! I see people with far more skills feeling stymied.

Focusing can be very frustrating for the multi-faceted.

If you’re one of those gifted Souls, here’s my suggestion—prioritize your passions. No matter how many interests, talents, opportunities, or possibilities are available to you, success will go to the focused.

Have a Legendary Love Affair with Your Money

Written by Barbara Huson

I wonder. Perhaps the reason so many women ignore their finances is actually their fear of relationship.

Money and a (good) man are a lot alike. All money wants (like a good man) is to serve you and support you. All they require in return is your respect and appreciation.

In other words, just like a man, money needs your attention; it needs to feel understood, cared about, and valued.

Otherwise, neither the man nor the money will stick around for the long haul.

As in all relationships, there are good times and bad times. Bad times are not the time to turn your back, throw in the towel or ignore your money. At least not if you want you and your money to grow old together.

How do you improve your relationship with money?

By creating more intimacy. Get to know it better. Learn what it needs and how to best care for it.

Make sure it feels the love. (The “love of money” is NOT the root of all evil—deprivation and destitution is.)

Blog

Your Lot in Life?

Want to Feel More Powerful?

The Mind/Body Connection

Baffled…

To All Money Avoiders…

The Real Secret to Financial Success…it’s not what you think!!!

Oh-So-Subtle Self-Sabotage

Down with Financialese

5 Words to Boost Financial Success

Have a Legendary Love Affair with Your Money

Meet Barbara Huson

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