3 Questions to Ask When Wrestling with Uncertainty

Written by Barbara Huson

Have you ever wondered if you might be settling for less than you truly desire? It’s a daunting question, isn’t it?

But the bigger question is, how do you even know what you genuinely want?

I bring this up because I feel like I’m hearing more women wondering if they’re in the right job, the right relationship, the right city….then inevitably asking: “But how do I even figure out what I really want?

If you’re wrestling with uncertainty, let me share a profound process I used years ago, when I was miserably unhappy and utterly confused.

I asked myself 3 questions. I’m not sure where I found those questions, but they proved to be a game changer as I sat quietly, pondering each one, allowing the answers to emerge until I had clarity:

The Poem That Forever Changed My Financial Life

Written by Barbara Huson

I was leafing through some old files when I found a poem from a lifetime ago. Suddenly waves of painful, memories flooded my brain.

My life was in shambles. My husband’s gambling was out of control. I begged God for help, just as I begged my husband to stop gambling. Both ignored me.

Then one day an envelope arrived with no return address. There was a poem inside- no title, neatly typed, all caps, on crisp white paper. I read it and gasped. The message was clear—I had to face my fear.

Who’s Spotting You?

Written by Barbara Huson

Have you noticed, in gyms, when guys are lifting really heavy weights, they ask someone, often a perfect stranger, to spot them? How many times have you seen a woman tap someone to help them? Hardly ever!

Why? Because we seldom lift very heavy weights; we don’t want to bother anyone; and we’re determined to do it alone.

But financial success requires you to lift heavier weights in order to build up your confidence, strengthen your resolve and climb to greater heights.

Finding Your Highest Purpose

Written by Barbara Huson

Studies have proven that a strong purpose is the secret to longevity. And in my experience, it’s the key to higher earnings.

What if you don’t know your purpose? Here are four places to look to help you find—or refine—your purpose:

1. In Past Pain

I’m not sure our life purpose has to come from pain, but it’s a good place to start looking. What has been your most painful challenge in life?

2. In World Problems

Ask yourself: What is the one problem in the world that you yearn to see solved, and would you be willing to spend the next 10 years of your life working on, talking about, and being part of the solution for?

3. In Childhood Play

As we look back at the tapestry of our lives, it’s easy to spot certain threads that show up in our youth and continually repeat, displaying an unwavering pattern holding clues to our purpose. What did you love to play as a kid?

4. In Secret Wishes

Once, someone asked me whose job would I love to have?” That was easy. Neil Diamond’s. Why? “I wanted to write my songs and sing them.” OK, so I can’t carry a tune. But I’ve managed to write my songs (books) and sing (teach) them. If you could have anyone’s job, which would it be?

It’s also quite possible for your purpose to shift throughout your life. Have you found your purpose? Tell me about it in a comment below.

“Set & Forget” Investing

Written by Barbara Huson

After my divorce from the gambling husband, my inheritance was pretty much gone, with the exception of a few properties that gave me a small monthly income. But I did something smart.

When the rent from the properties would arrive, before I spent a cent, I’d put a portion into my savings account. I did it automatically. I filled out a form and the bank took are of the rest.

I didn’t even have to think about. And even though it wasn’t a lot, it’s amazing how my savings grew over time.

Later, as the cash accumulated, I automated my investing, by using a technique known as Dollar Cost Averaging (DCA-click to learn more). DCA takes the emotion out of investing, reduces the risk of losing a lump sum in a down market and reduces costs because you buy less when your investments are expensive, and more when they’re cheaper.

The Difference Between Investing & Gambling

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ll never forget my first investment on my own. A friend of my father’s was forming a limited partnership. He’d just opened T.J. Cinnamons, a retail outlet that sold sticky buns. And he needed to raise money.

I knew what sticky buns were. I had no idea what a limited partnership was, or the risk I was taking. But hey, this was my dad’s close friend. He was extremely wealthy, very smart, massively successful. So, it had to be a great thing, right?

When T.J. Cinnamons went under, I lost all my money.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tracking Your Spending

Written by Barbara Huson

Keeping track of your expenses is a powerful tool. It’s perfect for reigning in your expenses and getting rid of debt.

But tracking reveals so much more. You’ll see where you’re spending your time and energy. You’ll discover bad habits and blind spots. You’ll realize where you’re trying to fill a hole in your soul. You’ll quickly see what’s missing in your life, areas of deprivation, like vacations or medical visits or new underwear.

Tracking also has a ripple effect. In an Australian study, where participants wrote down every purchase, not only did their finances improve, but they smoked and drank less, ate less junk food and they were more productive.

Ain’t Never Too Late!

Written by Lynda Jo Schuessler

It was a moment I’ll never forget. I was on a book tour, giving a yet another speech, when an older woman, leaning on a cane, came up to me afterward.

She was 84 years old and had been married to a very wealthy physician who handled all the finances. But 10 years ago, he died, leaving her no money but a lot of debt. Turns out all his investments were all on margin, using borrowed money.

Before the shock even wore off, she found a financial advisor, started taking classes, and learned about investing.

The Lesson at the Liquor Store

Written by Barbara Huson

So, I’m standing in line at the liquor store, holding 2 bottles of a Chardonnay on sale for $3.99. (Who can refuse a bargain like that?)

An elderly woman is paying the clerk. Behind her, in front of me, a scruffy guy with a bottle of Jack Daniels fumbles with the Lottery machine.

“Maybe I’ll win,” he says to no one in particular.

I say, remembering an article I once read, “Did you hear about the couple who won a $20 million lottery and gave it all away because they didn’t want it?” I recall, at the time, thinking: why anyone would do that?

6 Things To Do Before Your Spouse Dies

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ll never forget the day I asked my mother, “Do you know what Dad has planned for you when he dies?” He was seriously ill. She was having a hard time.

“Of course I do,” she replied. But when I pressed her for details, she couldn’t deliver.

But she made it abundantly clear: This was not a conversation she wanted to have. I made it even clearer: Avoidance was not an option. Here’s what we did:

1. We had “The Talk.” I made my Mom sit down with my Dad and we looked at all the financial documents: bank statements, investments, estate planning, etc. This was not, by any means, an easy conversation. Nerves were frayed. My Mom glazed over. My Dad lost patience. I kept scratching my wrist (a nervous habit) until it bled. But by the end, my Mom knew where every penny was and what arrangements he had (and hadn’t) made.

Blog

3 Questions to Ask When Wrestling with Uncertainty

The Poem That Forever Changed My Financial Life

Who’s Spotting You?

Finding Your Highest Purpose

“Set & Forget” Investing

The Difference Between Investing & Gambling

The Life-Changing Magic of Tracking Your Spending

Ain’t Never Too Late!

The Lesson at the Liquor Store

6 Things To Do Before Your Spouse Dies

Meet Barbara Huson

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