Can The “Secret” Really Work?

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m a big fan of The Secret. I’ve watched the DVD at least 50 times. This wildly successful video and book introduced the “Law of Attraction” (LOA) to millions of people. And that’s a very good thing…to a point.

Simply put, the Law of Attraction says: Our thoughts create our reality. What we focus on expands. In other words, if you want to be rich, don’t focus on lack of wealth.

But here’s where it gets confusing. How many people (you, maybe?) really want wealth, and refuse to focus on anything but abundance… yet still, nothing changes. Their bills pile up while their bank balance shrivels.

What the Secret failed to mention is that the LOA is only part of the equation for creating wealth. What’s missing are the other 2 Laws:

1. The Law of Discipline
2. The Law of Congruency

#1. The Law of Discipline. Discipline — consistent activity in the direction of your desire — is the root of all success. You can visualize flowers blooming, hitting a hole in one, or wads of cash, but unless you exercise disciplined effort and pull the weeds, practice your putt, or follow the rules of money (spend less, save more, invest wisely), you’re not going to succeed at anything.

#2. The Law of Congruency. You get what you want not what you ask for. For example, you may say “I want to be rich,” but if you distrust wealthy people, don’t believe you deserve wealth, or see money as the root of all evil, then wealth isn’t really what you want. This inner discord explains why affirmations or positive thinking, as powerful as they are, don’t always work… your spoken goals are in conflict with your true desires, and deep down, you don’t actually want what you’re asking for.

Whenever I’m wondering why I’m not attracting something, I always ask myself 2 questions, in this order:

1. Why don’t I want it?

2. What am I not doing, that I need to be doing?

Try it, and let me know what you think! And for more help and support in achieving your financial and personal desires, check out the schedule of Seminars listed on my website!

Ready to $tart getting $mart???

Written by Barbara Huson

Does this sound like you?

“It’s a new year! I’m finally going to tackle my finances. Yep, I’m really ready to get smart about money. Well…sort of. I mean, I do want to learn…but it just seems so overwhelming. Where do I start?”

Start with this article: http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news /savings-money-club-comeback-1264.php. Not just because I’m in it! The author, Dana Dratch, does a fabulous job of explaining how to make financial education fun! FUN????

Yes, FUN! Invite some friends, bring some food, and start a Money Club.

“The idea has been around for years,” Dana writes. “A small group of friends, co-workers or, in some cases, complete strangers meet regularly to polish money skills, discuss money challenges and set concrete goals. Don’t confuse money clubs with investment clubs, in which members focus on investing skills and may even make investing decisions as a group or pool their money. “

Dana also interviewed Ginita Wall, the co-founder of www.wife.org (which I believe is the best financial education site on the internet for women) and a major proponent of money clubs. Ginita created the site; www.TheMoneyClub.org, where you can download a free Leader’s Guide for “individuals interested in starting a club, and a menu of lesson plans for meetings.“

Money clubs are exploding in popularity. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s in a money club…got any tips or advice for the rest of us?

Women In Power – Best Kept Secret

Written by Barbara Huson

I want to share with you one of the best kept secrets in the world of women and power. It’s called Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. I had no idea what Mama Gena’s was all about until Regena Thomashauer (aka Mama Gena) asked me to speak earlier this year. When I walked into the room, the energy was so high and the women I met so extraordinary, I knew I had to check it out. So I signed up for Mastery.

The course explores power in ways that will deeply transform your relationship with yourself as a woman along with your ability to create your dreams and desires. What it did for me was help me identify and overcome barriers that have kept me from living my life to the fullest.

Regena’s work is truly cutting edge. I’d love you to check it out at http://www.mamagenas.com, or contact me with any questions. A new Mastery is starting soon…I’d love to see you there!

Achieving Financial Success, In Spite of Fear (yours and everyone else’s)

Written by Barbara Huson

Have the headlines got you spooked?

Let me introduce you to my 2 Laws for Financial Success…In Spite of Fear (yours and everyone else’s!)…(drum roll please!)…expressly for the faint-hearted and other victims of the current fear mongering.

1. Stanny’s Law of Resistance—the amount of resistance you experience in any endeavor is directly correlated to the amount of power and pleasure available on the other side.

2. Stanny’s Law of a Lousy Economy—no matter how bad the economy, there will always be people who are prospering.

The following email demonstrates these laws in action. The writer, a seminar graduate, ended up in the hospital after the first day of a 2 day seminar! Even though she was in utter fear and the economy sucked big-time, she tenaciously respected Stanny’s Laws! Look what happened:

Dear Barbara,

I took your Overcoming Under Earning Workshop last fall. I am the woman who spent the night (after the first day) hooked to an IV in the emergency room. My body was physically rebelling the changes that were taking place in me emotionally in your workshop! As crazy as it seemed, I forced myself back for the second day… knowing I had every excuse not to launch deeper into more of my financial mud pit.

Thank goodness I did… I am very happy to report that despite the economic upheaval of our Country I am better than ever.!!!! Since I saw you I have made some real tangible changes. First off, I got the courage to go back to court and get a child support adjustment… this was something that I had been avoiding for 9 years… results a 233% increase!!!! Long overdue, obviously.

Even better than that, I finally know my financial future is completely in my hands… and that is incredibly empowering. I now know that I control my financial future. (I feel excited just writing this, and even more excited living it!!! ) I am working “smarter not harder“.

I have adjusted my business focus to accommodate the economic environment. I now do what I had been doing full time, part time, and am working more full time with my internet brokerage company. The shift in focus has given me great financial success, as a matter of fact by staying on the course I am on now, I am estimated to triple my best income ever within 12 months!!! Wow, didn’t even know what leverage was about a few years ago.

Just wanted to send you my success story and express my thanks for you, and the door that you helped me open in my life!

The moral of this story: never ever let fear or resistance stop you from going for the gold… regardless of what’s happening ‘out there’ or going on ‘in here’ (i.e. your head). Resistance is simply a clear indication of what you need to do next!!

Help, I Think I’m A Compulsive Shopper!

Written by Barbara Huson

It’s the finale…the last installment of popular questions. I hope they’ve been helpful. And if you have any questions for me, feel free to ask. I’d love to hear from you! So here we go:

1. I’m getting married next year. Should my fiancé and I keep separate accounts or have one joint account?
It’s fine to have a joint account for bill paying, etc, but be sure you have one for yourself too. Every woman needs an account in her own name.

2. How can I stop being such a compulsive shopper?
As my mentor, Karen McCall, a pioneer in financial recovery, always said: “You can never get enough of what you don’t really need.” The problem isn’t the shopping, but the “hole in your soul” you’re trying to fill. I highly recommend attending DA (Debtors Anonymous) meetings, a 12 step program for over-spenders, chronic debtors, and underearners.

3. What is one of the most common money mistakes women make and how can I avoid it?
Without a doubt; it’s doing nothing because you’re afraid of making a mistake. My advice is to spend 3-6 months educating yourself. How?

Every day read something about money, even if it’s just the headlines in the business section of the newspaper, even if it’s only for 1or 2 minutes.
Every week, talk about money, particularly with someone who knows more than you. (taking a class counts too).
Every month, save by having a small amount from your paycheck or checking account automatically deposited in a savings and/or retirement account.

I also encourage women to find a financial advisor they can trust, who will hold them accountable and keep them on track.

4. I’m always worrying about money. How can I calm my fears?

Educate yourself. Knowledge is the best anecdote for fear. The goal is to make financial decisions from knowledge, not ignorance, emotion or habit. Doing the 3 steps I outlined above is an amazingly simple but effective way to conquer money fears.
Join with others. We women are so relationship oriented, one of the best ways to learn is to get support by forming (or joining) a money book club, money study group, or investment club.
Track your spending. Write down every penny you spend for at least a month, then transfer those amounts to spending categories. This exercise allows you to see how/where you can shave expenses, figure out a debt repayment plan, and increase savings.
Create an emergency savings fund with at least 6 months worth of living expenses (a shoe sale is NOT an emergency!)

5. As a young career woman, what’s the single smartest thing I can do with my money now?
Automatic savings. Arrange to have the bank, every month, withdraw money from your checking account or paycheck and deposit it monthly into a personal savings account. Even small amounts ($10 or $20 a month) consistently saved accumulate quickly. It’s money you’d otherwise fritter away. And you don’t miss what you don’t see!! Do the same with your company’s retirement account.

6. My current salary is under 50K. How can I make more money?
If you love what you do, ask for a raise. If you get a ‘no’, ask your boss what you need to do for a pay increase. If you feel dead-ended, or dislike your current job, start looking for a better, higher paying one. Figure out what you’re passionate about and network like crazy. From my interviews with six- and seven-figure women, I discovered that four factors are essential for financial success and quality of life (both are important):

Passion—loving what you do
Audacity—doing what you fear
Resilience—getting back up when you fall down
Community—reaching out for support

Is Talking About Money, Crass and Rude?

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m back with more questions that I’m commonly asked, and the pithy answers I provided. Let me know if you disagree (or agree) with any of my responses.
1. How does a person, like myself, who is inexperienced with negotiating, learn how to do it successfully?
I’ll tell you how I’ve learned to be a better negotiator: by 1) taking classes, 2) reading books, 3) talking to people who are good at it; 4) learning from my mistakes. If I have to choose the one that’s been the most powerful, it’s #4.
2. I have a lot of external constraints—3 children and an active family life—that prevent me from achieving my full professional potential. What can I do?
Your external conditions are not actual constraints. They’re excuses…pure and simple. I talk to too many women, with those same constraints, who are succeeding magnificently. And then there are others who don’t have kids or a family, yet have all kinds of other “constraints” as reasons for not acting. More often than not, we use those “constraints” as justifications, so we don’t have to do what we’re scared to do.
3. How can I most effectively teach my children about personal finance?
Whenever anyone asks me ‘how can I get my kids to be smart about money?’ my answer is always the same. Start by getting smart yourself. When it comes to children, you teach best what you model most. Also, I suggest talking openly and consistently (without preaching) to them about money. Include your kids in conversations about the family budget, paying bills, investing, saving for college, the danger of credit cards, etc. Managing money was, and still is, a very common topic of conversation around our dinner table.
4. I am a 50-year-old chronic underearner in a dead-end job with no advancement path. Is there any hope for me?
I was in my 50’s when I finally overcame underearning. And I’ve interviewed women who didn’t start making good money until their 60’s or 70’s. Overcoming underearning has nothing to do with age, lack of education or credentials…or anything else we think we need to make the big bucks. The only requirement necessary is the willingness to do what you fear, including thinking bigger, valuing yourself, and going outside your comfort zone (which may mean finding a new job)
5. Discussing money can be seen as crass, rude, or inappropriate. Until this changes, how can I find support, like you suggest?
I’ll tell you how I found support. I went to networking events, joined professional groups, attended financial conferences…anywhere I could find people who were like I wanted to become. I’d talk to them openly about money. It wasn’t crass. I didn’t ask how much they made, but I’d pick their brain and find out how they got smart. You’d be surprised how people will respond when you’re authentic and sincere about learning more.

So, do you agree or disagree? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Are You An Underearner? Check Out These 5 Often-Asked Questions.

Written by Barbara Huson

Questions. I get a lot of them. I thought I’d share some of the most often asked ones, in this and future blogs. Who knows, maybe you’ve been wondering the same thing. Or, maybe you have a better response than mine. Let me know…

1. How is underearning self-imposed?
If you look at the 10 traits of an underearner—for example, they talk as if they’re trapped; they give away their power; they are self-saboteurs, codependent, vague about money and often anti-wealth—you can see every single trait is a result of a choice we made.

2. What is one thing I can start doing NOW to live up to my full potential and earn what I deserve?
Do what you’re most scared to do. The number one requirement for going to the next level in your life is the willingness to be uncomfortable, to do what you think you can’t do. Don’t worry if you’re not sure what that may be. You’ll know exactly what it is the moment you hear yourself saying “I can’t do that,” or “Oh no, that’s impossible.” Fear always points the way to growth.

3. I’m great at saving, but I shy away from investing. I know a lot of other women do too. Why do we do this?
Because investing seems so complicated and overwhelming! “And we women are so damn busy, who has time to learn?” That’s how I felt—until I realized that it’s a matter of taking small steps, doing a little something every day, like reading the business section of the newspaper, perusing financial sites, watching PBS nightly business report, taking classes, talking to others about money. Watch what happens after 3-6 months. Then find a financial advisor you can trust (I wrote a booklet that tells you how, available on my website).

4. Women entrepreneurs are notorious for not charging what they are worth. How can I overcome this tendency?
By valuing yourself, believing in what you do, then speaking up and asking for more because you know you’re worth it. That’s what I had to do to make six figures. I had to raise my fees, bargain harder, even though I was scared to death to do it. Not everyone agreed to pay my higher fee at first, but enough did that my income went up significantly, without having to work any harder!

5. You say that focus and intention are critical to overcoming underearning. Why?
One of the most “popular” ways intelligent, talented, ambitious women keep underearning is by being scattered, unfocused, pulled in too many directions. They may be genuinely motivated to make money, but they don’t realize that stretching themselves too thin dilutes their energy and is an act of self sabotage.

Does any of this ring true for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Fear Got You Stuck??

Written by Barbara Huson

I have a question for you. It’s an important one. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Whenever my children ask me what they should do, I always respond the same way. “Do what scares you the most.” They rarely like that reply, but they always know I’m right.

Why?

Because when you stretch beyond your comfort zone, miracles occur. They really do. Dreams come true. Your confidence soars. All sorts of amazing things happen when you tackle what terrifies you. It’s the one act that separates high earners from underearners, a life of joy from one of quiet desperation. But don’t just take my word for it.

Here’s a beautiful email from a woman who attended my workshop last December:

“Your BIGGEST gift to me was your admonition to stretch – to commit myself to being uncomfortable for the sake of financial growth and, to a certain extent, self-respect. In my case, that willingness to be uncomfortable took the form of keeping up marketing relationships even when there was a clear possibility – even likelihood – of disappointment, and asking for more money for what I do. I set a goal of $100,000 in billings for this year and am happy to tell you I had exceeded that goal by the end of May. What is more, being uncomfortable is no longer very uncomfortable! (Italics are mine!) Disappointments and even outright refusals/rejections now feel like part of the landscape instead of the monumental cliffs I had imagined them to be before.”

I get emails like this all the time. I’m sure that’s what gives me the courage to stretch as often as I do. And that’s why I’m sharing the email with you…to inspire you and challenge you to go where you fear.

Two things I have come to see for sure:

1) The closer you get to what you fear, you’ll find it’s never as scary as you expected.

2) There’s a direct correlation between the level of fear you feel and the amount of pleasure, power, and freedom awaiting you on the other side.

So, I ask you again: What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Care to share???

Do You Think Like A Wealth Builder, or You More a Sex And The City Kind Of Girl?

Written by Barbara Huson

Do You Think Like a Wealth Builder, or Are You More a Sex and the City Kind of Girl?

I was reading a blog the other day, when one line really caught my eye:

“I can SEE the difference between the mindset that simply wants to make money and the mindset that is more focused on creating and building wealth.” (http://witoo.wordpress.com/2008/06/14/making-money-versus-building-wealth/)

I love the way the blogger described her epiphany! Indeed, there is a HUGE difference between making money and creating wealth. And it really is a matter of mindset. This was my biggest surprise when I interviewed six-figure women. These women earned more than most people on the planet, yet very few of them were wealthy. Without question, their mindset is what made the difference. And it makes sense: how we think determines the choices we make and the results we create (i.e. wealth or no wealth)

Let me demonstrate:

The Make-Money-Mindset thinks like this: “I want to make money because the more money I make, the more clothes I can buy, the more trips I can take, the more wining and dining I can do, and the more fun I can have.”

The Create-Wealth-Mindset thinks like this: “I want to make money because the more money I make, the more I can save and invest for the long term. “

Do you know what separates between those mindsets? Two words. Instant gratification. It’s the difference between snapping up those Prada shoes–which you have to have because they go perfectly with that Juicy Couture dress you just bought –and depositing that money straight into a mutual fund.

The previous example was inspired by the recent movie, Sex and The City, which is clearly the story of 4 women who don’t understand the meaning of delayed gratification.

Mind you, I’m not suggesting self deprivation. Saving money doesn’t mean sacrificing fun. You can always pocket a portion of your earnings, say 20 bucks, and take in a movie. In fact, go watch Sex and The City, and gloat about how much smarter you are!! (No, Carrie is NOT smarter for marrying a rich man. Read my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming…you’ll understand why!!!)

Finding A Financial Professional

Written by Barbara Huson

Those of you familiar with my work know this about me: I’m a big fan of using financial advisors.

The reason: we women are so busy, many of us of don’t have the time, interest, or knowledge to manage our own money (and do it well). Of all the women I’ve interviewed, the ones with the highest networths didn’t necessarily earn (or inherit) the highest income. But the whopping majority did work with financial professionals.

The challenge: how do you find a trustworthy financial advisor?

The strategy: Ask for referrals from people who are happy with their advisors. Or go online to find names of advisors near you. Try these sites:

www.napfa.org — National association of Personal Financial Advisors

www.garrettplanningnetwork.com — the Garrett Planning Network of financial advisors who work for an hourly fee.

www.cfp.net — the website of Certified Financial Planners

The solution: Resist the urge to sign up with the first advisor you meet. Interview at least 3. Ask questions such as these, then go with your gut instinct:

1. Would you tell me about yourself?

2. Do you specialize in certain types of investments?

3. Who are your clients?

4. How do you charge for your services, and what costs might I incur working with you?

5. How often do you communicate with clients, and how often might I expect to hear from you?

6. Have you ever been involved in any lawsuits, arbitration, or disciplinary problems?

7. Is there anything you want me to know about you that I haven’t asked?

Need more help? I’ve written a booklet filled with great advice: Finding A Financial Advisor You Can Trust. You can order it on my website.

I’d love to hear your tips about finding an advisor.

Blog

Can The “Secret” Really Work?

Ready to $tart getting $mart???

Women In Power – Best Kept Secret

Achieving Financial Success, In Spite of Fear (yours and everyone else’s)

Help, I Think I’m A Compulsive Shopper!

Is Talking About Money, Crass and Rude?

Are You An Underearner? Check Out These 5 Often-Asked Questions.

Fear Got You Stuck??

Do You Think Like A Wealth Builder, or You More a Sex And The City Kind Of Girl?

Finding A Financial Professional

Meet Barbara Huson

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