Giving is Good, Right? That Depends….

Written by Barbara Huson

Do you know what today is? National Give Something Away Day. Which got me thinking about giving. We women have been groomed to be Givers. And Giving is good, right? Well, that depends…

There are two kinds of Giving. One empowers. The other weakens. The latter–which I call Giving ‘Til It Hurts—is what’s been expected of women for generations. Sacrifice ourselves for the sake of others.

Giving ‘Til It Hurts provides the illusion of being needed, important, powerful. But self-denial is, in fact, an abdication of power, leaving you exhausted, resentful and depressed, often crippling the receivers, robbing them of their self-esteem or sense of sovereignty.

Powerful Giving, on the other hand, is what I call Giving With Boundaries. This means giving to yourself first, with love, not guilt, refusing to do anything that sucks you dry or leaves you cold.

How Do You Know if You’re Financially Independent?

Written by Barbara Huson

In the spirit of the 4th of July we recently celebrated, I have a question for you. Are you financially independent?

I’m curious how many of you responded with a resounding YES! But I’m guessing many of you are either shaking your head ‘no’ or furrowing your brow, wondering if you are.

Let me clarify.

You are Financially Independent if you have enough to meet your needs and satisfy many (not necessarily all) of your wants…free from the stress of overdue bills and struggling to make ends meet.

Financial Independence has nothing to do with how much money you earn, but how much money you keep. You achieve it by spending less than you have and saving more than you need.

But for some of you, spending less and saving more is akin to self-imposed poverty. I’m reminded of an email I once received…

“How can I SAVE money to create wealth (which means cutting back spending) and still have a feeling of ABUNDANCE (which means the desire to SPEND) and not a mentality of LACK?”

In her mind, spending provided the pretense of prosperity while saving felt like self-denial.

To someone with a wealthy mindset, saving means giving the money to yourself (not Visa or Starbucks) so that ultimately you can purchase whatever you please without pressure or worry.

The difference between the two mindsets is not deprivation but delayed gratification.

I remember, as I struggled to clean up my financial mess, my mentor, Karen McCall, saying to me, “It’s ok to have massages, but what if you had one a month instead of every week, and deposit what you would’ve paid into your savings?”

I followed her advice. And because I did, I gave my future self the gift of financial independence.

What could you do to give yourself the gift of financial independence? Leave me a comment.

Financial independence is easier with support. Join my virtual community, The Wealth Connection today! Learn More.

My Journey Through Fear

Written by Barbara Huson

I had a rough few days.

As I watch the world implode, the virus surge, the markets plunge — my doctor tells me I need cataract surgery. Anything with the eyes terrifies me.

My head fills with worse case scenarios. I fall into a very dark place, unable to find my way out.

Then I remember what A Course in Miracles calls “the most important concept that exists in the universe—”the Law of Cause and Effect.”

The Course explains this law very differently from the world’s more generally accepted Newtonian explanation.

Here’s What Really Needs to Change

Written by Barbara Huson

Am I the only one feeling this way?

Yes, the protests—peaceful or not—have led to incredible changes. Companies are hiring more blacks. Communities are implementing radical police reforms. The shares in black-owned businesses are soaring.

But to create true and lasting equality, we must look beyond the external. To change the collective, we need to transform the individual.

I say this from experience.

I came of age during Women’s Lib. Enraged by rampant discrimination, we took to the streets, burning our bras, demanding gender equality. And lo and behold, the workplace opened its doors, albeit a crack. The banks gave us credit cards without requiring a man’s signature.

I Was Wrong!

Written by Barbara Huson

To those who took me to task for last week’s newsletter, I have one thing to say. Thank You! You opened my eyes.

I had praised the angry but peaceful protesters insisting black lives matter while disparaging “the looters and arsonists” for their senseless acts of destruction that had nothing to do with social justice.

And then you, my beloved community, showed me the light.

“Two wrongs do not make a right,” one woman wrote. “But when those four police murdered George Floyd and all the others, too numerous to mention, they broke the contract of good conduct. If the law enforcement agency cannot follow the law themselves how do they expect others to do so?”

Another reminded me that peaceful protests “made it easy for many White Americans to turn a blind eye to the sufferings of African-Americans, to explain away mistreatment. But the damages have meant that people can no longer look away. Instead it has caused many to look inside at their privilege and find ways they can help dismantle it.”

I still can’t justify violence. Yet I have to admit, people are paying attention, springing into action like never before. But there must be other ways, better ways, to generate change.

Perhaps Ghandi said it best: “If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change.”

I’ve been following Ghandi’s guidance. It’s been powerful. If you care to join me, begin by asking—How must I change my thinking to create a just, compassionate and loving world?

Please share your answer with me. I really want to hear from you.

I’m Mad As Hell And I’m Not Going to Take It Any Longer!

Written by Barbara Huson

Anger. It’s everywhere. I’m watching the fury toward oppression coming to a full boil, spilling out into the streets.

And I say hallelujah!

To be clear, I’m not referring to the looters or arsonists, whose anger has nothing to do with seeking justice but serves only to attack and plunder.

I’m proudly pointing to the protesters, peaceably but unabashedly voicing their anger, demanding personal dignity and systemic change.

This is a particularly important message for us women. Historically we’ve been groomed to repress our rage. We don’t like anger. It doesn’t feel good. It’s not ‘nice’. It’s scary.

But in truth, anger is a natural human emotion. Healthy when expressed in a timely manner…a catalyst for positive change. Toxic when bottled up…a source of chaos and destruction.

Desperately Seeking Serenity

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ve been struggling with the idea of Acceptance lately. Allowing life to unfold at its own pace, or as A Course in Miracles says: “Let it be what it is.”

I know that serenity comes from accepting what I cannot change.

Yet I yearn to return to normality. I deeply miss those days I could shop without a mask, do hot yoga in my favorite studio, hang out with friends, hug them goodbye.

But I also yearn for serenity amidst all the uncertainty. I feel conflicted, confused. Then I flash back to a memory.

How to Save When You’re Cash Strapped—A True Story

Written by Barbara Huson

Q. I know saving money is important, but what if there’s nothing left over to save?

A. I’ll let Suzanne Ahmed Leonora respond. She answers this question better than I ever could. When I got an email from her last week, I was so inspired, she gave me permission to share it with you.

What’s the Point of Saving When Cash Earns So Little?

Written by Barbara Huson

Q: Does it make sense to keep putting cash in savings accounts which pay next to nothing?

A: Yes!!! Money you won’t need in the next 3-5 years should be in the market, where it can earn a lot more. But it’s important to set aside cash, even small amounts, on a regular basis. Even better if it’s in a higher yield online account like Ally or Capital One.

Here are 3 reasons why savings is smart, even when interest rates are rock-bottom.

Reason #1— Peace of Mind. Unexpected emergencies are inevitable. Your cat needs surgery. You need a root canal. Your kids need new shoes. Without ready cash, you’ll turn to plastic. But if those bills go unpaid, the sky-high interest will keep ratcheting up, wreaking havoc on your credit rating, not to mention your serenity.

Reason #2— Protection. Of course, if you have a brokerage account, you could always sell stock to cover your costs. But what if the market is tanking, forcing you to take a big loss? Or worse, your only recourse, other than debt, is to borrow from your retirement fund, incurring fines and penalties, ruining your plans to retire and endangering your future security.

Reason #3—Guilt-free Pleasures. Once travel restrictions are eased, you’d give anything for a week at a spa. There’s a pair of boots you’ve been coveting forever. On your next anniversary, you’d love to splurge on a romantic dinner at an upscale restaurant. These are often called guilty pleasures. But sufficient savings will erase any trace of guilt, leaving you with purely pleasurable experiences.

It’s true. Savings accounts may not make you wealthy. But they sure can increase your sense of well-being. And that, in itself, is worth a hell of a lot.

Are you continuing to save? Leave me a comment below.

How would you like to be able to ask Barbara questions like the one in today’s blog—anytime you want? Well, you can! Join The Wealth Connection today! Learn More!

Pondering Your Purpose

Written by Barbara Huson

Mark Twain once said: “The two most important days in life are the day you were born and the day you discover the reason why.”

I can’t think of a more productive way to use this time in quarantine—even as restrictions begin to lift—to ponder your purpose…to ask yourself: Why am I here on this planet at this time?

There’s immense power in having a clear and focused purpose, especially when you’re navigating turbulent seas.

No matter how frightened you are or how impossible it seems, a strong sense of mission turns ‘I want to’ into ‘I HAVE to.’

Purposes can range from the extremely ambitious (create world peace) to the seemingly trivial (spread joy). And your purpose may change as you change.

If you’re unsure of your purpose, here are 4 places to look.

1. In Past Pain

I’m not sure our life purpose has to come from pain (though mine did), but it’s a good place to start. What has been your most painful challenge in life?

2. In World Problems

Ask yourself: What is the one problem in the world that you yearn to see solved, and would be willing to spend the next 10 years of your life working on, talking about, and being part of the solution for?

3. In Childhood Play

As we look back at the tapestry of our lives, it’s easy to spot certain threads that show up in our youth and continually repeat, displaying an unwavering pattern holding clues to our purpose. What did you love to play as a kid?

4. In Secret Wishes

Once, someone asked me: “If you could have anyone’s job, whose would it be?” That was easy. Neil Diamond’s. I yearned to write my songs and sing them. OK, so I can’t carry a tune. But I’ve managed to write my songs (books) and sing (teach) them. If you could have anyone’s job, whose would it be?

I’d love to hear about your purpose. Leave me a comment below.

Get the support you need. Join my virtual community, The Wealth Connection where women support women! Learn More!

Life Lessons

Giving is Good, Right? That Depends….

How Do You Know if You’re Financially Independent?

My Journey Through Fear

Here’s What Really Needs to Change

I Was Wrong!

I’m Mad As Hell And I’m Not Going to Take It Any Longer!

Desperately Seeking Serenity

How to Save When You’re Cash Strapped—A True Story

What’s the Point of Saving When Cash Earns So Little?

Pondering Your Purpose

Meet Barbara Huson

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