Life Lessons
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Pondering Your Purpose

Mark Twain once said: “The two most important days in life are the day you were born and the day you discover the reason why.” 

 

I can’t think of a more productive way to use this time in quarantine—even as restrictions begin to lift—to ponder your purpose…to ask yourself: Why am I here on this planet at this time? 

 

There’s immense power in having a clear and focused purpose, especially when you’re navigating turbulent seas. 

 

No matter how frightened you are or how impossible it seems, a strong sense of mission turns ‘I want to’ into ‘I HAVE to.’ 

 

Purposes can range from the extremely ambitious (create world peace) to the seemingly trivial (spread joy). And your purpose may change as you change.

 

If you’re unsure of your purpose, here are 4 places to look.

 

1. In Past Pain

I’m not sure our life purpose has to come from pain (though mine did), but it’s a good place to start. What has been your most painful challenge in life?

 

2. In World Problems

Ask yourself: What is the one problem in the world that you yearn to see solved, and would be willing to spend the next 10 years of your life working on, talking about, and being part of the solution for?  

 

3. In Childhood Play

As we look back at the tapestry of our lives, it’s easy to spot certain threads that show up in our youth and continually repeat, displaying an unwavering pattern holding clues to our purpose. What did you love to play as a kid?

 

4. In Secret Wishes

Once, someone asked me: “If you could have anyone’s job, whose would it be?” That was easy. Neil Diamond’s. I yearned to write my songs and sing them. OK, so I can’t carry a tune. But I’ve managed to write my songs (books) and sing (teach) them. If you could have anyone’s job, whose would it be?

 

I’d love to hear about your purpose. Leave me a comment below.


 

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Reinventing Normal

I’m hearing the same thought from numerous sources. Once the pandemic has passed, don’t expect a return to normal. Life as we’ve known it will never be the same.

That can feel scary. Indeed, uncertainty is frightening. But what if the current crises is not to be feared? What if we welcomed it as a much-needed wake-up call?

I’m reminded of a 2019 Ted Talk by Ashweetha Shetty. Though her subject was education, her words feel eerily prophetic.

 “All of us are born into a reality we blindly accept,” she said, “until something awakens us and a new world opens up.”

I’m wondering if that’s what’s happening now. “Something” (Spirit. perhaps) is trying to awaken us to other possibilities—possibilities other than the reality we’ve “blindly accepted.”

What if we all used this time in isolation to imagine the new normal we’d love to create? What if we reimagine a future unlike the past?

Think about the life you crave, not the one you live. Consider the legacy you wish to leave. Allow your imagination to run wild, to dream audaciously. Make it fun, as if you’re a child playing make-believe.

Notice if your thoughts tell you it’s not practical or even plausible. Know that’s your brain defaulting to old neuropathways.  Resist the urge to acquiesce.

Instead, trust this is your intended future yearning to emerge. Allow the ideas to sink into your psyche. Adopt them as your new story.

Repeat this story often (especially when tempted to tell your old one). Focus on it in meditation. Visualize it as you fall asleep.

Rest assured. This new story is not some grandiose tale told by your insecure Ego, but guidance from your loving Soul, urging you to step into your Greatness, shining your light in a world steeped in darkness.

Tell me about your new normal—the one you’d love to start living.  Share in the comments below as if it’s already a reality.

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Words of Wisdom for Weathering A Crisis

I’ve been wracking my brain all week…wanting to find just the right words for these whacky times. Then a newsletter from Ellevest—an online women-centric financial firm—showed up with the perfect message.

I could not have said it any better.

Three Things I’m Telling Myself 

By Sallie Krawcheck

What we’re going through is scary. On many levels.

As an investor, it’s been stomach-lurching. And so I keep reminding myself of three things:

  1. We’ve recovered from every recession and depression. Some have been longer; some have been shorter. But we’ve recovered from every one of them since 1854, and the economy has continued to grow.

  2. Time has been your friend. We’ve recovered from every “bear market” in history. Some have been longer; some have been shorter. But consider this: You could have invested in the stock market on any given day since the mid-1920s, and if you had stayed invested for 15 years, your chances of a positive return historically were 99%.

  3. Stillness is your other friend. Remember the research that women are better investors than men? That’s because women more often do what so many professionals (Ellevest included) advise: Invest according to a plan — and then leave it alone.

Click here to read the rest of the article.

Do you have an investment plan in place? Leave me a comment.

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Questions for A Quarantine

Ten years ago, a coach bluntly told me: “You’re too into doing, Barbara. You need time for just being.” I was depleted, burned out and knew she was right.

I cleared my calendar, eliminated all but the essentials and created space for self-reflection.  My mantra was “I surrender and receive.” 

I believe this is exactly what Covid-19 is calling us to do—Surrender and Receive. Surrender need not be passive but can be highly productive.

Believe me, I had no idea at the time that a whole new body of work was living inside me. By slowing down and tuning in, I “downloaded” what would become my next book, Sacred Success.

The “downloads” came as I asked myself a series of questions. I’m happy to share them with you. The first question most people ask themselves, when facing uncertainty, is ‘what should I do?’ Actually, that’s the last question to pose.

The first question to ask  is: What do I need to let go of? Letting go, especially of what causes unhappiness or ceases to serve you, creates space for better to come. How do you know what needs to go? It’s probably that which you’re most afraid to release.

The next question to ask is: What do I want? This helped me get in touch with my deepest desires rather than the ‘shoulds’ and ‘ought’s” that I often gave into. I took a deep dive into my Soul’s wisdom by asking myself these 4 questions:

  • If I knew I had only 6 months to live, where would I be? Who would I be with?  What would I be doing?
  • If I died today, what would be left unlived?
  • If nothing changes, not one thing, what would my life look like in 5 years?
  • If I was on my death bed, how would I most want to be remembered?

The final question to ask is: “What should I do next?” Follow the advice of artist Vincent Van Gogh: “If you hear a voice within you say, ‘you cannot paint’, by all means paint and the voice will be silenced.” 

How are you using your time in quarantine?.  Leave me a comment below.

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Reassuring Words for Rough Weeks Ahead

Oh what challenging times we live in. I’ve been trying my best to remain at peace while the whole world is waging war on a deadly disease.

At first I felt I only had two choices. Be afraid…very, very afraid.  Or stick my head in the sand and pretend all is well. Neither did the trick.

Then, I did something that made all the difference. Every morning, while making tea, I search for ‘spiritually uplifting perspectives on the Coronavirus.’ These messages—and there are plenty of them—calm my anxiety faster than any drug ever could!

I’d love to share one with you. I found the words both reassuring and thought provoking, reminding me that a better world awaits us all. Perhaps this will give you some peace as well.

 “Whatever it is, coronavirus has made the mighty kneel and brought the world to a halt like nothing else could.

Our minds are still racing back and forth, longing for a return to ‘normality’, trying to stitch our future to our past and refusing to acknowledge the rupture. 

But the rupture exists. And in the midst of this terrible despair, it offers us a chance to rethink the doomsday machine we have built for ourselves. Nothing could be worse than a return to normality.

Historically, pandemics have forced humans to break with the past and imagine their world anew. This one is no different. It is a portal, a gateway between one world and the next.

We can choose to walk through it, dragging the carcasses of our prejudice and hatred, our avarice, our data banks and dead ideas, our dead rivers and smoky skies behind us. Or we can walk through lightly, with little luggage, ready to imagine another world.

And ready to fight for it.~~Arundhati Roy

Do you have any comforting quotes you’d like to share? Leave me a comment below.

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Let Go! A New Future’s Emerging.

In one of my books, I tell a story about a mountain climber who falls off a cliff,  grabs hold of the ledge, and dangling in midair, desperately cries out, “Lord help me!”

The Lord answers: “I will help you. But first you have to let go of the ledge.”

I believe this is what we’re all being called—or in some cases, forced—to do:  let go of the ledges that once kept us safe.  And that’s scary as hell.

But I’m beginning to think this may be the whole point. Widespread global fear is triggering our own personal fears, especially ones we’ve long kept buried. 

Our tendency is to avoid uncomfortable feelings, stuff them down. But these bottled up emotions must come up to be healed. Or they will forever hold us back, tethered to the past. 

A new future is emerging. And we are being asked to take time to reflect and release dysfunctional emotions that are weighing us down. 

My daughter, Melissa Siig’s experience mirrors what many of us are feeling. She found herself becoming increasingly irritable and unhappy, struggling to adjust to all the sudden changes. Then one day, she realized, “I had to shed my old skin to make way for the new.”   Here’s what she shared on Facebook:

 “Last week, I took a shower, went into my closet to get dressed, laid down on my closet floor and stayed there for two hours, curled up in the fetal position in the dark.

“I cried and mourned and let my grief pour out of me for what my family and I and the world had lost. I needed to release my life as it had been for 47 years to make way for acceptance of something new.

“I had to let go. I needed to be reborn. Like the butterfly breaking through its cocoon, I slowly emerged from my dark womb and made my way to my bed. I laid in bed another hour or two. My family worried about me, I worried about me.

“But eventually, having purged my old self, I reemerged, transformed. I wiped the tears from my eyes, went upstairs, poured myself a glass of wine, and played Clue with my family.”

What ledge do you need to let go of, what do you need to shed, to make way for the new? Leave me a comment below.

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Losing Sleep Over Sinking Markets? Advice from a Wall Street Expert…and a Veteran of 2 Major Crashes—Me!

Last week, the market took the worst dive since 1987. Ahhhhh, yes, 1987.  I remember that October day quite well. Black Monday they called it.

I’d been in the market for about a year.  I knew nothing about investing, but I trusted my broker. However, when the market went into free-fall, I went into full blown panic. 

I called my broker, insisted he sell everything. He begged me not to, insisting the market will go back up…it always does.

I didn’t listen. If I’d stayed put, like he instructed, I’d be a lot richer today.

Yet it was a priceless lesson.Ten years later, in 1997, almost to the day, the market crashed again. Only this time I didn’t see disaster. I saw a sale. 

Fast forward to today. I’m not saying you should go on a buying spree. Though it is a sale. But I am imploring you not to sell everything in a panic. Investment decisions, based on emotions, rarely end well.

However,  if your nervous system can’t stand the heat, don’t rush out of the kitchen or do anything rash. Take advice from my favorite financial writer, Jason Zweig,

“If you feel you can calm yourself only by ditching some stocks,” he wrote in last Fridays Wall Street Journal, “sell a fixed amount each month for the next year.” By taking small steps, and automating them, you take the emotion out of the decision.

And if you’re going to sell, sell the losers, he advised. “That will turn some of your losses into cash—and a write-off on your taxes.”

Or, instead of selling, “You could direct your dividends into cash, rather than more shares, for now.”

 

I’d love to hear how you’re reacting to this crazy market? Buying? Selling? Waiting and watching? Or frozen in fear? Leave me a comment below.

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The Only (True) Antidote for Fear

It’s hard not to freak out these days. Between the rapidly spreading coronavirus and the deeply plunging markets, how’s a girl supposed to stay positive and avoid panicking?

I’ve been asking myself that question a lot.  Then I found a way to quiet my anxiety. And I’m excited to share it with you.

It’s called Selective Attention. You focus on what inspires you and stop dwelling on what scares you.

Easier said than done, right?  Which is exactly what I thought…until I remembered the Receiving Journals I handed out at my Sacred Success retreats.

Keeping a Receiving Journal serves the same purpose as tracking your spending.  But instead of increasing your awareness of money going out, a Receiving Journal forces you to face all the abundance flowing in.

As A Course in Miracles tells us: “Every day a thousand treasures come to me with every passing moment.”  The problem, however, we fail to notice those numerous treasures, especially when fear is ever-present.

To fully access the power of a Receiving Journal, you must understand this: everything that happens is a gift for the receiver, whether it feels ‘good’ or ‘bad.’  The challenge, of course, is to find the treasure in what may seem unpleasant. But even the good stuff can be challenging to receive.

For example, I started noticing how often I’d gloss over expressions of praise or appreciation, without fully taking in the words. So I started listing, in my journal, every compliment I got.

And when I had a tiff with my husband, I actually stopped to figure out the gift. I not only discovered a pattern I was repeating that had messed up other relationships, but it led to the most loving discussion. This went in my journal too.

It’s only been a few days, but I feel a big difference. I’m actually happier, more loving.  Maybe that’s what a Receiving Journal is all about. Not just expanding our ability to receive, but actually increasing our capacity to love.

After all, says the Course, love is the only antidote for fear.  “Any attempt to master fear is useless. The true resolution rests entirely on mastery through love.” 

 Are you open to receiving or do you resist? Leave me a comment below.

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Pruning vs Pushing

A little over 10 years ago, in a rush of adrenalin brought on by a surge of ambition, I suddenly shifted into high gear. I hired a team, restructured my website, created a new marketing campaign, purchased complicated new software, and created all sorts of new products. I was driven.

Until my enthusiasm dwindled and I couldn’t understand why. The answer came loud and clear when I helped my daughter, an organic farmer, prune the fruit trees.

“If you don’t prune back most of the new buds,” Anna explained, “too much of the tree’s energy goes into producing foliage instead of growing fruit. You don’t want the trees to spread themselves too thin, reducing the amount of fruit they bear.”

The metaphor was inescapable. I was that fruit tree, spreading myself too thin, letting too many budding projects sap my creativity, my energy, my focus.

Busyness, or the act of spreading oneself too thin, is an occupational hazard for high achievers. It’s basically the absence of discipline. Discipline means doing with discernment, thoughtfully pruning rather than tirelessly pushing.

I wonder if we instinctively recoil from discipline, like a kid ordered to eat veggies. It may be good for us, but damn it, we’re not going to like it and we’ll try anything to get out of it.

Instead we slip straight into our drug of choice. I call it ABTS—“Addicted to Busyness Syndrome.”  We stuff every cranny of our lives with so much activity that we’ve lost touch with what’s really essential and what’s truly irrelevant.

But ask us to lighten our load, actually say no to a task, and we start to panic. As if our world would shatter if we slowed down.

Over time, I learned to value Disciplined Action—making prudent, sometimes unpleasant choices, doing what I need to do to, even if it’s not what I want to do. It’s the only thing I’ve found that allows me to successfully do what I love without sacrificing my sanity, or my Soul.

Where are you pushing in your life when you should be pruning? Leave me a comment below.

 

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Financial Challenges are Your Friend

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Anyone can create wealth. Yes, even you, regardless of your current situation. I’ll tell you how.

First, pinpoint your biggest Financial Challenge. It could be anything from a gnawing sense you’re unhappy at work to the gut-wrenching pain of staggering debt.

Next, realize that this Financial Challenge is about far more than money. It‘s a profound opportunity for personal transformation; the call of your Soul trying to get your attention;  the starting point for creating wealth and claiming your power.

Finally, by committing to resolve your Financial Challenge, you’ll open the door between the life you now live and the amazing life that’s patiently waiting for you to take action.

There is no magic bullet for resolving a Financial Challenge. Nor would you want one. It is the process that’s empowering, a three-pronged process:

1) The Outer Work of Wealth—adhering to the Rules of Wealth: Spend less; Save More; Invest Wisely.

2) The Inner Work of Wealth—exploring your attitudes, beliefs and early decisions you made about yourself and money.

3) The Higher Work of Wealth—understanding the laws of the Universe so you can manifest your destiny and make a difference in the world.

As you begin taking small steps to resolve your Financial Challenge, one of two things will happen. Either you’ll resist, give up and fall back into the familiar. Or your life will dramatically change, not only with money, but in other areas as well.

What’s your biggest financial challenge? Are you ready to resolve it? Leave me a comment below.


Take action to bring your dreams to life. My virtual community, The Wealth Connection, is the place to find the support you need. Join Today!

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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