Have you noticed that whenever you change, you’re sure to upset someone close to you? Usually someone who’s resisting moving forward themselves. It could be a spouse, a parent, or a friend.

It happened to me with my second husband. I was an aspiring journalist when we met, sorely underpaid, but with lots of free time. Three months after the wedding, I decided to focus on building a profitable business.

He didn’t like this ‘new me’ one bit. It eventually led to our divorce.

At first I was crushed. But when I started interviewing six-figure women for my second book, it hit me.

To go to the next level financially, I had to surround myself with people who were cheering me on, not trying to rein me in.

For years, whenever my daughters felt stuck or confused, they’d always call me for advice.

 “What are you most afraid to do?” I’d ask every time.

They’d tell me and inevitably I’d reply: “Then that’s exactly what you need to do next.”

They didn’t like my response, of course, but when they followed it, they always met with success.

Nowadays, they don’t even bother asking. They finally realized what every successful woman I’ve ever interviewed eventually figured out.

I’ll never forget a conversation I once had with a former underearner. She told me that in every job she’d had, she found out she was underpaid and would always quit.

Finally, she was in a job she loved. Once again, she discovered she was making far less than a co-worker in the same position. But this time, she really didn’t want to leave.

Though terrified, she worked up the nerve and asked her boss for a raise. 

“Sure” he said, without missing a beat.

At that moment, she had a stunning realization. I’ve come to call it the High Earners Epiphany.