Life Lessons

Don’t Believe You Can Make More Money? Doesn’t Matter!

Want to know an important secret to making more money? Certainty, or lack of it, is inconsequential.

You don’t need to be convinced you can do it. You need only be open and receptive to the possibility.

So many of high earners I interviewed, when the thought of making big money first crossed their minds, never really believed they could actually do it.

 Nor did they know precisely how they would add another zero or two. In fact, most hadn’t the vaguest idea.

Which is exactly how I, a chronic underearner, always felt. One of the most hopeful messages I learned from successful women is that we need not fully believe something is possible, much less have a full-blown plan firmly in place.

We just have to decide what we want and be willing to do whatever comes next.

Letting Go

Here’s a foolproof strategy for getting unstuck. You must let go of where you are to get to where you want to go.

Clinging to the security of the familiar ledge prevents us from discovering what awaits us in the future.

The ledges in our lives offer the illusion of safety, but in truth their only value is to keep us hanging.

These ledges take many forms, both concrete and intangible. They can look like unfulfilling jobs, unpleasant relationships, inappropriate goals, untrue beliefs, unhealthy habits, bottled-up emotions.

Every successful woman I interviewed who finally let go (as hard as it was), cited that single act as the springboard to higher earnings and happier times.

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Here’s Where You’ll Find Success…Guaranteed

If success seems to elude you, here’s a guaranteed approach for finding it. Do what you don’t want to do, are afraid to do, think you can’t do.

Whenever you decide to do something different—whether it’s making more money or changing careers—success always lies just outside your comfort zone.

The only way you’ll succeed is by stretching beyond what feels comfortable to what may seem impossible. .

The ability to tolerate discomfort—doing what might not feel good, but doing it anyway—is the only path to financial success.

For us pleasure-seeking, pain-avoiding creatures, that’s a very tall order. It’s certainly not comfortable to face up to a challenge, acknowledge a problem, and it’s especially unnerving to eschew our habitual ways of handling them.

Yet, that’s exactly what’s required. The real work in raising the bar is to stop doing the same old thing you’ve always done, to try out new strategies, to ignore false alarms, to resist the urge to quit, and refuse to fall back into familiar terrain.

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Who’s Got Your Back?

Have you noticed, in gyms, when guys are lifting really heavy weights, they often ask someone, usually a perfect stranger, to spot them?

It’s known as The Law of Heavy Lifting. I also call it The Law of Higher Earnings.

How many times have you seen a woman, while working out, tap someone to spot them? I never have.

We’ll hire trainers, but ask another to spot us, especially if we think they’re ‘busy’? Doesn’t happen! Why?

For one thing, we rarely lift very heavy weights. But more likely, it’s because we don’t want to bother anyone. And too often, we’re determined to do it alone.

Financial success, however, requires lifting heavier weights in order to build up our confidence, strengthen our resolve and climb to greater heights.

For this, we need our spotters, people we trust to have our backs, push us further, give us feedback.

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Beware Excuses

Here’s an interesting exercise. Notice how often you set a goal or express a desire and immediately start finding reasons why it can’t happen.  

I see it all the time.  A new client walks in,  declares her desire—”I really want to make more money,”—and then comes the ”but…”

  • I have little kids
  • I’m scared
  • I never went to college
  • I don’t have time
  • I’m too old
  • I’m too young

Beware excuses!

Are You Really Playing Full Out? It Matters…A lot!

Which game are you playing? It’s an important question I learned from interviewing successful women.

They taught me that, in the world of work, you are either playing The Underearning Game or The High Earning Game. There’s a big difference between the two.

The Underearning Game is called Not To Lose. The goal is to stay safe, look good, and be comfortable. There’s only one rule—avoid anything that feels uncomfortable or scary.

The High Earning game is called To Win. The goal is to go as far as you can with all that you got, and when you fall down, you get back up and keep going. The only rule here—play Full Out.

Problem is, sometimes it’s hard to tell which game you’re actually playing. There are times when I swear I’m giving my all. Then later it hits me—I was fooling myself. I really wasn’t playing a true Full Out.

The Secrets to Wealth Building…Revealed At Last!

“What are the secrets to being wealthy?” she asked, a tinge of desperation in her voice. “I feel like rich people know these secrets that I never learned.”

She was right. There are Secrets to Creating Wealth. And I understood her frustration. I struggled with this same question for years, never getting a satisfactory answer.

 It took me forever to figure those secrets out. And when I did, my financial proficiency (not to mention my self-confidence) skyrocketed.

The truth is, very few people actually understand how to become a Wealth Builder. Everyone, however,  knows how to be a Consumer.

The Hidden Danger of Higher Earnings

I noticed a disturbing theme in my conversations with successful women. I call it the Illusion of Affluence. Whopping wages can be deceptive and dangerous.

I see it repeatedly: High earners spending too much, saving too little, or plowing all profits back into their business. Their ample earnings gives them the appearance, but not the security, of affluence.

Even if they can easily make a bundle whenever they want, high earners are as vulnerable to hard times and sudden change as anyone else.

Absolutely, women making big money are to be applauded. But the real measure of success isn’t what comes to you…it’s what stays with you (i.e. your net worth—the sum total of what you own minus the sum total of what you owe). 

I Really Truly Want To…But I’m So Damn Scared!

You’re ready. It’s time to open your own business, ask for a promotion or set stronger boundaries. You truly want to take the next step.

But you can’t. Fear, like a colossal boulder, stands in your way.

Of course you’re afraid. Fear is a normal, inevitable, reaction any time you leave the comfort of the familiar and venture into the unknown.

The goal, here, is not to eliminate fear. Because you can’t. The goal is to act in spite of it. I love how writer Ray Bradbury put it.

“Just jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down,” he said, adding, “If you’re too cautious, you’ll miss life.”

There’s no way around it.  If you want success, there’s only one path: feel the fear, endure the discomfort, observe the resistance, and go for it anyway.

But hear this! You don’t have to do it alone. The best antidote to fear, for us women, is surrounding yourself with a supportive community.

As high earner Karen Page once told me: “Success is a social activity. You can’t do it alone. You just can’t.”  Amen to that!!

It’s precisely why I created my virtual community—The Wealth Connection—for financially aspiring women.

If you’re looking for a safe, welcoming place to talk openly, intimately, deeply about money, receive personal coaching from me, and encouragement, support & inspiration from the others, you can learn more HERE.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how a supportive community (of lack of one) has impacted you. Leave me a comment below.

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Joint vs Separate Accounts

If you’re married, or about to be, I have a question for you. Do you have money in your own name?

Even if you’re blissfully in love with each other, even if (s)he’s filthy rich or a financial genius, it’s critical to have your own economic identity–a bank account and credit card in your own name.

In part, it’s a matter of self-protection. If anything happens to your Prince(ss) Charming, you could be in big trouble.

Oh, the horror stories I’ve heard from women who couldn’t get credit or had all kinds of legal problems after losing a spouse through death or divorce because everything was listed under their spouse’s name.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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