Success Insists: “Toughen Up…But Not Like A Man!”

Written by Barbara Huson

We women, by nature, tend to be pleasers. We want everyone to be happy with us. Believe me, successful women are no different. Almost all the high earners I’ve interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

Yet these women were continually required to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often had negative consequences for other people. The secret to their success: they had to toughen up.

‘Toughening up’ does not mean we have to harden our hearts, numb our senses, or act like men. The women I interviewed taught me four techniques for becoming strong, effective leaders without compromising their feminine nature.

Is Busyness Your Drug of Choice?

Written by Barbara Huson

Are you achieving the kind of success along with the quality of life you truly desire? If the answer is no, you may be addicted to busyness, a condition that’s epidemic among women.

We tend to stuff every cranny of our life with so much activity that we’ve lost touch with what’s really essential as opposed to what’s actually irrelevant.

But ask us to say no to a task, and we start to panic. As if our world would shatter if we slowed down. The truth is, we’ve lost sight of what’s honestly important and truly necessary.

I didn’t realize busyness was my drug of choice until the pandemic when my life slowed down significantly. I’m the first to admit—busyness is a bitch to give up.

Have the Headlines Got You Spooked?

Written by Barbara Huson

Let me introduce you to Huson’s Law of a Lousy Economy. It goes like this: no matter how tough times are, there’ll always be people who are prospering. Why not you?

I discovered this law after I wrote Secrets of Six-Figure Women, at the height of the dot com boom. But when the bubble finally burst, I called each woman back to see how they were faring

Even as the economy was tanking, many of their careers were thriving. They were finding new jobs, negotiating raises, winning promotions, doubling (even tripling) their client base, making more money than ever before.

“Just because it’s a down time,” said a woman whose coaching business was up 40 percent, “You don’t have to go down with it. There’s lots of opportunity. You’ve just got to find it.”

Inflation: A Reason to Worry….Or A Call to Action?

Written by Barbara Huson

Even the wealthiest worry about money. Their biggest fear: Inflation.

Inflation is, indeed, a ravenous creature that devours our cash like a caterpillar on a leaf—slowly, methodically, little bits at a time.

For years, however, inflation has stayed quite low. But that’s rapidly changing. Inflation has hit its highest rate in more than 40 years. And it’s expected to keep escalating.

Is it time to start worrying? Heavens NO! The worst response to climbing costs (or most anything else for that matter) is to go into fear, which tends to have a paralyzing effect.

Instead, look at rising inflation as a resounding call to action…no matter how much or how little money you have.

Getting Past Guilt

Written by Barbara Huson

There’s an old joke: What do you call a woman who feels no guilt? A man. You may laugh. But sadly it’s true. Studies have confirmed that indeed women suffer significantly more guilt than men.

Guilt, simply put, is feeling as if you’ve done something wrong or bad. Every time you deviate from the norm, from what you ‘should’ do, your Ego goes berserk, using guilt, like a whip, to keep you in check, warning of dreadful consequences if you disobey its rules.

Guilt is self-destructive, immobilizing, a short cut to unhappiness, a hindrance to healing. You know you’re acting from guilt whenever you hear yourself saying I should….

As my dear friend and songwriter, Athena Burke, always says, “Anything that comes after ‘I should’ is a lie.” Our Ego’s lie.

Impatience vs Acceptance

Written by Barbara Huson

There’s nothing like a burning goal to inspire you to go for it, full throttle. You’re excited to write a book. You’re eager to grow your savings. You yearn to start a business.

But what happens when you run into the inevitable speed bumps and road blocks? The fire in your belly can rage out of control. Your drive turns to desperation.

You become convinced that if you don’t make it happen right now, it never will. Impatience is the enemy of success, the death knell to higher aspirations, a sure-fire path to mediocrity.

Your Ego, like an angry parent, is shrieking “hurry up or you’ll fall behind.” These bogus threats are guaranteed to sap creativity, drain energy, delay progress.

The Link Between Wealth and Power

Written by Barbara Huson

I once heard it explained that when you have more money than you need, that’s wealth. When you use your money to make a difference, that’s power. In my experience, wealth and power are inextricably intertwined.

Once a woman becomes financially secure, her motivation shifts from making more money to leaving a legacy, to giving back to others in ways that fill her with meaning and pleasure, while imbuing her with the power and the ability to make an impact.

I am convinced that successful women offer our greatest hope for healing the planet. And I believe you are meant to be one of them—if you aren’t already.

So I ask you: What will your legacy be? This question cuts right to the core of why you’re here and the mark you wish to make after you’re gone. Your desired legacy serves as an internal compass, guiding your daily decisions in the direction of your optimal future.

The Inner Work of Wealth

Written by Barbara Huson

There came a moment when I finally knew: I had to get smart about money. A massive tax bill was my incentive. Yes, I was terrified. But 3 daughters depending on me gave me no choice.

I went to classes, read books, yet nothing made sense. I felt immobilized. Nowhere in those books or classes could I find a solution for my paralysis. Then I took matters in my own hands.

I finally stopped focusing on the practical mechanics of money and started plumbing the deepest recesses of my psyche. I went into therapy, wrote in my journal, dove into personal growth.

At some point, I became aware of a familiar voice in my head telling me how stupid I was. Instead of ignoring it, as I usually did, I began a dialogue with that voice, asking it where it came from and what it wanted.

Healing the Imposter Syndrome

Written by Barbara Huson

There was one thing I never expected, in my interviews for my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women. How many highly successful woman felt like frauds, afraid others would find out.

At the time, I credited their success to their courage, constantly doing what they were afraid to do..

Now, after having written my latest book based on brain research, I realize I need to add a critical caveat: But Don’t Forget to Rewire

Neuroscience gave me an explanation—and antidote—for the Imposter Syndrome, an insidious condition afflicting millions of women.

Despite their impressive accomplishments, they hadn’t prepared themselves mentally as they pushed themselves vocationally.

What do Dollars & Donuts Have in Common?

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ve long noticed an interesting fact. Women who have problems with money often have problems with food.

Then I read Geneen Roth’s extraordinary book, Women, Food and God, a New York Time’s bestseller. I’ve never met Geneen personally. But I instantly knew she was a kindred spirit.

Geneen insists that food is never the problem. Just as I’ve always known problems with money are never about money.

Rather, says Geneen, overeating is “a doorway to your true nature,” echoing my conviction that financial problems are a doorway to your true power.

Her book is based on her own unhealthy relationship with food and her experience teaching others what she learned during her weekend retreats. Just like my books are based on overcoming my own devastating dealings with money and helping others do the same.

Life Lessons

Success Insists: “Toughen Up…But Not Like A Man!”

Is Busyness Your Drug of Choice?

Have the Headlines Got You Spooked?

Inflation: A Reason to Worry….Or A Call to Action?

Getting Past Guilt

Impatience vs Acceptance

The Link Between Wealth and Power

The Inner Work of Wealth

Healing the Imposter Syndrome

What do Dollars & Donuts Have in Common?

Meet Barbara Huson

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