Life Lessons
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What do Dollars & Donuts Have in Common?

I’ve long noticed an interesting fact. Women who have problems with money often have problems with food.

Then I read Geneen Roth’s extraordinary book, Women, Food and God, a New York Time’s bestseller. I’ve never met Geneen personally. But I instantly knew she was a kindred spirit.

Geneen insists that food is never the problem. Just as I’ve always known problems with money are never about money.

Rather, says Geneen, overeating is “a doorway to your true nature,” echoing my conviction that financial problems are a doorway to your true power.

Her book is based on her own unhealthy relationship with food and her experience teaching others what she learned during her weekend retreats. Just like my books are based on overcoming my own devastating dealings with money and helping others do the same.

Is Money Your Drug of Choice?

How often do we use money like Novocain, spending freely to numb the pain in our lives or the pressures at work? But instead of making things better, it just gets us deeper into trouble.

Yet we justify our shopping sprees with thoughts like, “I’m going through a divorce. I deserve this,” or “I hate my job. At least I can enjoy my life.”

What gets us into trouble isn’t the spending, but our self-deception. It’s called denial. And denial can generate considerable debt.

Getting out of denial is a prerequisite for prosperity. Credit card debt is insidious, but not insurmountable.

Making minimum payments can take 30 years or more to pay off (because 75 percent of what you pay goes toward the accumulating interest).

The Secret to Financial Success…in Only Five Words

One day, I was glancing at the Wall Street Journal, when 5 words leapt off the page—”The survival of the focused.

I knew those five words carried a powerful message. A message High Earners understand very well. But one Underearners have failed to grasp.

Financial Success belongs to the focused.

Without focus, it’s easy to get sidetracked by multiple distractions fighting for your attention. But with focus, conflicting objectives cease to control you, making it easier (and less stressful) to take decisive action without second guessing.

A Sure-Fire Way to Increase Your Self Worth

I always asked High Earners: “Are you doing what you’re doing for the money?” No, they insisted, quite vehemently. They were driven by the  passion, by the challenge, by the recognition. But not money.

Yet, in the next breath, they all said the same thing. “But I damn well want to be well compensated…because I know I’m worth it!”

Where did their strong sense of self-worth come from, I initially wondered? As a chronic underearner, I wanted what they had. The answer soon became stunningly clear.

They had a simple strategy. Whenever they were asked to do something, whenever an opportunity arose, if their reaction wasn’t a strong ‘Hell Yes!’ it was clearly a “Hell No!”

These women each told me that, initially, they were afraid to speak up and tell the truth. But they forced themselves to ask for what they wanted, just as they said ‘no’ to what they didn’t want.

This simple (but scary) act was the secret to their financial success. Here’s why:

  • Asking for more is an act of self-love.
  • Saying no is a statement of self-respect.
  • Refusing to settle is a show of self-esteem.
  • And walking away is a sign of self-trust.

Whenever you stand up for what you want, whenever you refuse to take less than you deserve, your life will begin to change, sometimes dramatically.

You’ll also notice a shift in how you feel about yourself. Speaking up becomes not something you should do, but something you have to do – because you know in your heart you’re worth it.

Where do you need to start speaking up? Tell me about it in the comments below.

The Poem That Forever Changed My Financial Life

I was leafing through some old files when I found a poem from a lifetime ago. Instantly, a rush of painful memories flooded my brain.

My life was in shambles. My husband’s gambling was out of control. The ATM kept insisting we had no money. I hated myself for being so helpless.

I prayed constantly, begging God to do something—just as I begged my husband to stop gambling. Both ignored me.

Until the day an envelope came in the mail, with no return address. Inside was a poem—no title, neatly typed, all caps, on crisp white paper. I read it and gasped.

The message was obvious. And terrifying. Spirit was telling me what I had to do—face my fear head on.

Having a Hard Time Saving and Investing? Let Me Make It Super Easy!!!

After my divorce from the gambling husband and after I paid the outrageous tax bills, my nest egg was almost depleted. But I had a few properties that paid rent every month.

One of the first things I did, when that rent came in, before I spent a cent, I immediately put a portion of it into savings. Otherwise, I knew I’d spend it all.

And I did it automatically. It was so simple. I filled out a form and the bank automatically transferred money from my checking account to savings. The amount was small at first, but it added up quickly. I didn’t even have to think about it.

Automating gave me discipline without having to work at it. It’s easy to say that you’ll move money monthly into savings. In practice, however, it just doesn’t happen. You forget. You overspend, You have a hundred excuses.

But by automating, you don’t miss what you don’t see. This was the beginning of my creating really good financial habits—habits I still practice today.

Another (Better) Way to View Market Volatility

The market’s looking pretty scary these days, right? But honestly, it’s not the turbulence that will get you in trouble. It’s your emotional reaction to it.

Studies show that most investors, regardless of gender, tend to act on emotion, instead of rational thinking, when making financial decisions.

When markets take a tumble, our emotions, especially fear, take over, and we abandon ship, suffering losses.

The emotional reaction also happens in reverse. When the market is on a big run, there’s a tendency to take on too much risk and follow the herd, like so many did during the dot com and real estate booms.

May I suggest another way to view this volatility? Heed the advice of my favorite Wall Street Journal columnist, Jason Zweig: Be thankful that stocks are going down.

A Pep Talk For a Plunging Market

What do you do when the market has more stomach-churning dips than a roller coaster?  Like now!

Obey the rule of the roller coaster: You only get hurt when you jump off Same with the market. You only lose money when you sell.

So what do you do when the market plunges? Follow the sage advice from investment firm, Ellevest, in their newsletter What the Elle.

Do Nothing.

As Sylvia Kwan, Ellevest’s Chief Investment Officer, explains: “Over the past 93 years, the stock market has gone up by an average of nearly 10 percent a year. But it didn’t go straight up!”

Indeed, markets always do what markets do: bounce around wildly. Like now.

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Get Rid of Imposter Syndrome…For Good!

When I interviewed over 150 high earners for my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women, I expected these women to be extremely confident. And they were.

What I didn’t expect was how many struggled with fear, self-doubt and felt like a fraud, afraid others would find out. Which was exactly how I felt!

But there was a difference between them and me—they didn’t let fear stop them. Their courage inspired me.

After one of those interviews, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed.” I framed it and put it on a table across from my desk where it still stands today.

Consciousness Raising While Holiday Shopping

Tis the season to be spending. But splurging on presents is like binging at the buffet. Fun at first, but afterwards, you feel awful!

Let me suggest a simple tip to control your spending, without turning into a tightwad: Track your expenses.

Every time you buy anything—a gift, a latte or a mani/pedi—jot down the item and the amount…at the time of purchase. Otherwise, receipts pile up and it feels overwhelming.

Believe me, tracking is not just for those with limited means. Tracking is a powerful consciousness raising, potentially life changing tool. It reveals a lot more than where you can shave and save.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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