Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m beyond grateful to those gutsy, courageous suffragettes.
But in the last few days, I listened to a Ted Talk by one of my favorite actresses, read a WSJ profile of an acclaimed microbiologist and coached a high level executive…all of whom wearily spoke of their struggles with sexism.
If we want a seat at the table, it’s our job to take it. We can start by becoming the change we want to see in the world.
Oh what challenging times we live in. I’ve been trying my best to remain at peace while the whole world is waging war on a deadly disease.
At first I felt I only had two choices. Be afraid…very, very afraid. Or stick my head in the sand and pretend all is well. Neither did the trick.
Then, I did something that made all the difference. Every morning, while making tea, I search for ‘spiritually uplifting perspectives on the Coronavirus.’ These messages—and there are plenty of them—calm my anxiety faster than any drug ever could!
I’d love to share one with you. I found the words both reassuring and thought provoking, reminding me that a better world awaits us all. Perhaps this will give you some peace as well.
“Whatever it is, coronavirus has made the mighty kneel and brought the world to a halt like nothing else could.
Our minds are still racing back and forth, longing for a return to ‘normality’, trying to stitch our future to our past and refusing to acknowledge the rupture.
But the rupture exists. And in the midst of this terrible despair, it offers us a chance to rethink the doomsday machine we have built for ourselves. Nothing could be worse than a return to normality.
Historically, pandemics have forced humans to break with the past and imagine their world anew. This one is no different. It is a portal, a gateway between one world and the next.
We can choose to walk through it, dragging the carcasses of our prejudice and hatred, our avarice, our data banks and dead ideas, our dead rivers and smoky skies behind us. Or we can walk through lightly, with little luggage, ready to imagine another world.
And ready to fight for it.~~Arundhati Roy
Do you have any comforting quotes you’d like to share? Leave me a comment below.
Can it be? We’re only two weeks away from beginning a new year. I’ll be spending time with my family and I’m offering this last “from the archives” blog for you to consider as you celebrate whatever traditions you celebrate and get ready to jump into 2020.
I used to do it every year. Then I stopped. Last weekend, however, I was drawn to make New Year’s resolutions.
It felt really good to list them: Write another book. Create a home study course. Visit my kids more frequently. Get away with my hubby. Yoga class at least 3 times a week.
But when I reviewed the list, I was surprised by my reaction. Instead of being pumped up, I felt uninspired. Huh? These were things I deeply desire, achievements that would surely feed my soul. Why wasn’t I excited?
I remembered a line from A Course in Miracles: “Seek not outside yourself…for you will surely fail.” In other words, I’ll never find what I really want if I keep looking for it ‘out there’ or stipulating where to find it.
Then I have a flash back. New Year’s Eve, 1995. At the top of my list: Finish my first book. Not because I enjoy the writing. But as a published author, I’ll finally feel important. Two years pass. I walk by a bookstore, see my book in the window, and wait to feel important. The feeling never came.
Looking back at that memory, I realize that what I’m wanting isn’t actually a tangible goal. It’s how I want to feel once I attain it.
I make a brand new list: To savor the gratification and joy writing gives me. To relish in the pleasure of working with my team in the creation of something new. To spend more time immersed in the love of my family. And to feel connected to my soul, healthy in my body and experience extended periods of inner peace.
Reading these now, I feel energized, excited for whatever unexpected events or unimagined opportunities the universe may bring.
What if you did the same? Rewrite your resolutions, listing the feelings you wish to experience without insisting you know how to find them, Share your thoughts below.
Wishing you all a wonderful holiday and a healthy, happy, prosperous new year. I’ll be back in 2019 2020!
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If you haven’t heard of HERMONEY.com, I can’t wait to introduce you. It’s a kick ass website, which co-founder, Jean Chatsky, dubs a “judgement free place to talk about all things money.”
On the site, you’ll find a vast reservoir of rich content and fascinating podcasts. And, best of all, HERMONEY is jargon free.
Jean has a talent for making a complicated subject entertaining and clear without dumbing it down. Personally, I consider HERMONEY a woman’s financial paradise!
Jean has spent over two decades reporting on personal finance for magazines like Forbes and Smart Money, serving as the Today Show’s financial editor and writing 11 books, including her latest—Women with Money–which I love.
Last week, I had a wonderful chat with Jean about her own struggles with money, her excellent advice for taking financial control, and why she founded HERMONEY.com.
“I needed to educate myself,” she said of her career choice. “I was an English major who racked up credit card debt, pulled money out of my 401(k) after my first job, and ceded too much financial control to my first husband.”
As she learned about money on the job, she told me, “I was inspired to take control.”
“What did you do to take control?” I inquired.
“When I got divorced, 15 years ago, I automated everything I could,” she said. “I automated college for kids, retirement, savings accounts. Once a month I’d look at all those accounts.”
Then she laughed. “Saving money is no fun. But seeing how much it grows—that’s fun!”
Finally, I asked Jean what inspired her to start HERMONEY.
“I wanted to grow something bigger than me,” she said. “I wanted to build a platform where all woman could see themselves.”
Check out www.hermoney.com and let me know what you think!!!
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I’ve begun another journey. And I’m wondering: do the first steps ever get easier?
A few years ago, I birthed a new body of work: ReWIRE: Mind Training for Wealth + Well-Being, combining neuroscience with personal finance. Last week I finally finished the book proposal.
My agent is shopping it around. Even after writing 7 books, I have to say: beginnings are a bitch. Let me tell you why. Perhaps you can relate.
We rarely feel certain that we’re actually ready to begin. If anything, beginnings are a disturbing blend of excitement and fear, optimism and despair. (What if every publisher rejects me? What if I still need to learn more, be better prepared?)
And beginnings are scary. In order to start one thing, you have to let go of something else. For me, I’ve had to stop giving workshops and retreats in subjects I know and love to find the time for studying a brand new subject.
Beginnings are also frustrating. They are full of interruptions and false starts. I began working on my proposal last summer. But fear, resistance, and various distractions kept delaying my progress. I kept worrying I wasn’t doing it right, that I’d never finish.
Yet beginnings can’t be rushed. They must emerge. The key is to stay focused but surrender control, allowing one thing to lead to another. For example, I spent months trying to find just the right agent. I’d been spoiled by my old one—a razor sharp editor—who’d quit the biz. As I’m about to give up hope, I find out she’s back. And she whipped my proposal into shape, just as it needed.
Now I wait. Will my baby find a good home? Beginnings are mired in uncertainty. Then I read this on social media: “Be okay with not knowing for sure what might come next, but know that whatever it is, you’ll be ok.”
And I sigh with relief! It may never get easier. Yet I know, I’ll be fine, regardless of the results.
How do you handle the beginnings in your life? Join the conversation here.
It’s not too late to join me and an amazing group of women in the Spring 2019 session of my 5-month ReWIRE Mentorship Program. Click here to learn more!
Excuse me while I vent. My insides are seething with rage and frustration. I write this to make sense of it all.
My fury was fostered during the 2016 election with the alarming rise of blatant misogyny, which despite #MeToo, continues to intensify.
It’s certainly not all men. But reading the news is both infuriating and deeply painful. I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time I witness another woman being belittled, harassed, marginalized or disparaged.
As one who’s devoted my entire career to women’s liberation and empowerment, I feel inexpressibly sad. And deeply disturbed by what I see. Even Lean In author Sheryl Sandberg recently announced that women’s progress has essentially “dragged to a halt.”
And she issued a dire warning, reported in the Wall Street Journal: “We’re at a really critical moment. Women are entering the US workforce in the highest numbers in decades, but gender parity isn’t improving.”
Yes, we’re “liberated.” We’re free to work…or not. But alas (heavy sigh) we have yet to be respected, valued or treated as equals.
If, as Sheryl cautioned, this is a critical moment, what can I, what can we do?
The instant I asked that question, I heard Gandhi’s guidance. What if we, as individuals, intensify our efforts to become the change we want to see in the world?
What if we each focus on strengthening our own sense of self-respect by ceasing to belittle, marginalize, or disparage our self?
What if you and I genuinely valued all that we bring to the table, especially those gifts we take for granted? What if each of us commits to reaching our fullest potential, despite the obstacles and fears?
Is that the solution for transforming our divisive culture into one of mutual respect? I have no idea. But it’s a place to start. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue. Leave me a comment below.
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I don’t know about you. But the moment I start something new, I’m filled with anxiety, a subtle sense of dread and danger.
Like now, trying to write my next book. My inner voice is relentless in its ruthlessness. “Don’t do this.” it shrieks. “Don’t you dare do this!”
I can’t say it’s debilitating. But like a barking dog late at night, I’d do anything to make it go away.
Sitting at my desk, staring at a blank page I had a sudden flashback to an interview I did during my days as a journalist. The interview was with the famed psychologist, Rollo May, author of The Meaning of Anxiety. I knew I needed to find those notes.
When I finally did, I had no doubt…this was a pep talk directly from the Divine, through Dr, May’s words.
“Anxiety is always triggered every time we face the possibility of fulfilling our potential,” Dr. May explained.
“If it were not some potentiality crying to be born, we would not experience anxiety,” he said. “Anxiety signals danger. Not a tangible danger. But a psychological threat…to our present security.”
If we try to escape this tension and fear through drugs and overwork or apathy and denial, anxiety becomes destructive. It leads to futility.
If, on the other hand, we feel and face our anxiety, enormous creativity is possible. Anxiety acts as a stimulus, he said. “It stimulates us to find new experiences, new ways of meeting problems.”
In fact, he insisted, “It is the ability to tolerate and push through anxiety that underlies every successful endeavor. All great things were done with anxiety.”
For example, May was 82 when I met with him. He’d written over 15 books and was dubbed “one of the superstars of psychology” by Time magazine.
Yet, he confessed, “Every time I write a book, I think my writing is terrible and I don’t know what I’m saying. But I keep writing anyway.”
This is exactly what I needed to hear. My goal is no longer to mute the fear, but to muster up the courage to keep moving forward, despite any apprehension.
Yes, my anxiety persists, but my commitment is stronger. I remind myself it’s a sign I’m going for Greatness.
Have you used anxiety to push yourself past your comfort zone? Were you surprised at the results? Leave a comment below.
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Even the wealthiest among us—those with earnings over $200,000 or a net worth over $3 million—still worry about money.
Their biggest fear: Inflation.
Inflation is, indeed, a ravenous creature that eats into our cash like a caterpillar on a leaf…slowly, methodically, little bits at a time.
For years, however, inflation has stayed quite low. But that’s rapidly changing. The Wall Street Journal just announced, “US inflation hit its highest rate in more than six years.” And inflation is expected to keep escalating.
Is it time to start worrying? Heavens NO! The worst response to climbing costs (or most anything else for that matter) is to go into fear, which tends to have a paralyzing effect.
Instead, look at rising inflation as a resounding call to action…no matter how much or how little money you have.
The only way to counter the ravages of rising prices is to make sure at least some of your savings is working harder than it would in a bank. How? By investing in assets that grow faster than what inflation takes away.
Now is the time to make sure your money is well diversified. Here’s the standard rule of thumb for investing wisely:
You can’t eliminate inflation. But you can do a lot to protect yourself from it.
Tell me about your biggest money fear. Leave a comment below.
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Last fall, I had a crushing realization. I’ve been worshipping a false god…and it’s caused me great pain.
The realization came during a seminar led by one of the early pioneers in internet marketing, Ali Brown.
Her message: Today’s marketplace is so oversaturated, full of noisy distractions and changing so fast, that the old formulas for success no longer work.
“Question everything,” she urged us. “Especially question the metrics you’re using to measure your success.”
She ran down a list of the most common measurements: list size, social media followers, team members, seats filled, speed of growth, etc.
“Numbers are the false gods in our industries,” Ali declared. “A lot of pain comes from how you’re measuring your success because you make assumptions that aren’t always correct, based on size and amounts.”
Thus, came my crushing realization. Numbers have always been my yardstick, not just for my professional success, but my value as a person.
When my numbers were low, I felt like a loser. When the numbers rose, I was once again worthy.
Yet I had no idea how to gauge my level of success except by the size of the numbers. What other metric even mattered?
The answer came in a most surprising manner. My best friend, Jill, was telling me about all the books she’d read by people who had Near Death Experiences.
“The common theme, among those who temporarily crossed over, is that the most important thing in this life is to be your 100% most authentic self,” she explained.
“What if that’s the whole point?” she continued. “What if the only thing the Universe wants is for YOU to be YOU?”
In that moment, I discovered my new metric.
What if I woke every morning, and instead of asking myself ‘What can I do to increase my numbers,’ ask instead, ‘How can I be my most authentic ME?’
The concept is still fresh and feels a bit challenging. How does one even measure authenticity? Can the emphasis on being genuine actually generate profits?
I’m still tempted by the false (yet seductive) god of numbers. But hey, I’ll give this new metric a try. I have to tell you, I feel my soul is smiling in approval.
I’d love to hear from you. Do you have a metric for success…other than numbers?
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