Lifting The Financial Fog

Written by Barbara Huson

I spent most of my adult life in a financial fog as opaque as pea soup…and frustrating as hell. If you can relate, you’re certainly not alone.

Millions of women today are stuck in a financial fog so thick and threatening, they can’t find their way to wealth and well-being. And the consequences can be devastating…on our self-esteem as well as our future security.

The way out of this miasma is not by learning more financial facts, but by first understanding then lifting the fog.

This fog is made up of a matrix of issues–suppressed emotions, limiting beliefs, childhood wounds stemming from cultural conditioning, parental messages, unhealed trauma and hidden shame.

The Secret to $uccess No One Ever Talks About

Written by Barbara Huson

I was mystified. It was 1994. I’d begun researching my first book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, by interviewing women who worked in the financial industry—investment advisors, mortgage brokers, bankers, etc.

After all, I assumed, financial professionals were the perfect candidates to illustrate the book’s theme: how women went from being ignorant to smart about money.

Believe me, I never expected how many would tell me: “I do this for a living, but my own finances are a mess!”

How could that be?? Decades later I discovered the reason. In a word, Self-Efficacy, or rather the lack of it.

Self-efficacy—a psychological concept developed by the Stanford psychologist Albert Bandura—is the belief that I can do whatever I decide to do, trusting I’ll succeed no matter what.

It’s the difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it, between being highly competent and feeling truly confident.

National Women’s (semi)Equality Day

Written by Barbara Huson

Monday, August 26th we celebrated National Women’s Equality Day recognizing the passage of the 19th amendment in 1920 which gave women the right to vote.

Honestly, I know I should be celebrating this victory. But I’m having a hard time getting in the mood.

Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m beyond grateful to those gutsy, courageous suffragettes.

But recently I listened to a Ted Talk by one of my favorite actresses, read a WSJ profile of an acclaimed microbiologist and coached a high-level executive…all of whom wearily spoke of their struggles with sexism.

Clearly full equality is far from won. The Equal Rights Amendment, proposed in 1923, has yet to be ratified. Face it, we can’t rely on the government to level the playing field for us.

If we want a seat at the table, it’s our job to take it. We can start by becoming the change we want to see in the world.

Call it a grassroots effort, a personal challenge. What if we each celebrate National Women’s Equality Day by taking on this challenge with the same ferocity and fortitude demonstrated by the suffragettes?

How? Here are a few simple suggestions. And, while they may be simple, they take tremendous courage and commitment.

Notice every time you devalue yourself or dismiss your strengths and STOP, immediately shifting your focus to the unique and valuable the gifts you have to offer.
Notice where you give your power away and strive to take it back by speaking up—asking for what you want, saying ‘no’ to what you don’t—in your home, your community, your workplace.
Notice when you feel scared, isolated or helpless and make yourself reach out for support, then offer to help and encourage others in this endeavor.

I truly believe, when enough women see themselves as worthy, capable, powerful individuals, there will be a notable transformation in the national landscape.

Perhaps then we’ll be celebrating National Equality Day for All.

Will you join me? Leave me a comment below.

Pruning vs Pushing

Written by Barbara Huson

I recently told my team, “I really need to slow down.” I’d been having a series of health problems, and it felt like my body was telling me to ease up, stop working so hard. Nothing in me wanted to listen.

I just couldn’t figure out what my problem was. Then I recalled a lesson I learned from my daughter, an organic farmer

Over 10 years ago, in a rush of adrenalin brought on by a surge of ambition, I suddenly shifted into high gear. I hired a team, restructured my website, created a new marketing campaign, purchased complicated new software, and created all sorts of new products. I was driven.

Ending the Imposter Syndrome

Written by Barbara Huson

I had a huge surprise when interviewing high earners for my book, Secrets of Six-Figure Women.

I expected these women to be extremely confident. And they were indeed.

What I never expected was how many of these “confident” women actually felt like a fraud and were terrified others would find out.

Their level of fear was astonishing. But their courage was inspiring. In fact, after one of those interviews, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: “Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed.” I framed it and put it on a table across from my desk where it still stands today.

The Only Antidote for Fear

Written by Barbara Huson

It’s hard not to freak out these days. Between all the political hostility, global wars, and precarious economy, how’s a girl supposed to stay positive and avoid panicking? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately.

Then I remembered a helpful antidote to fear that I once assigned participants during a retreat I gave. I asked them to keep a Receiving Journal. I did it too.

Writing in a Receiving Journal serves the same purpose as tracking your spending. But instead of increasing your awareness of money going out, a Receiving Journal forces you to face all the abundance flowing in.

As A Course of Miracles tells us: “Every day a thousand treasures come to me with every passing moment.” The problem, however, is that we fail to notice those frequent treasures, especially when fear is ever-present.

Living with Uncertainty

Written by Barbara Huson

Transitions are a bitch. And so many in my community are in the midst of one right now. As I listen to their frustration and confusion, I’m reminded of a cartoon:

A frog is leaping from one lily pad to another with a look of sheer terror as he realizes he’s about to miss his target. The caption read: ‘Just when you think you’ve made ends meet, someone moves an end.

That’s exactly how it feels to be in transition—whether it’s a conscious choice (like taking a sabbatical) or an unwelcomed disruption (like being laid off). You’re poised mid-air between the old and the new, wondering “what do I do now?’

I remember my first big transition, back in the 80’s, when I moved from the Midwest to San Francisco…a dream come true. But as soon as I settled in, I felt untethered, disoriented, anxious. This wasn’t what I expected.

Thankfully, I discovered the book Transitions: Making sense of Life’s Changes by Bill Bridges. It was a godsend!

Why Willpower is Never Enough

Written by Barbara Huson

There’s a lot of talk these days about money mindset. But few are aware of the brain’s role in their financial success.

In a recent experiment, at the University of South Wales, students were told: “Whatever you do, don’t think about a red apple.” As you’d expect, most couldn’t get that image out of their mind. Which is quite normal.

But what about those who swore they’d successfully eradicated the image from their mind?

Well, according to brain scans, “even those people who are good at suppressing certain thoughts still harbor traces of the thought in [their brain’s] cortex.”

Prince Charming Isn’t Coming—But 2024 Can Still Be Your Year of Wealth!

Written by Barbara Huson

Take a guess. What’s the most popular new year’s resolution for 2024? Yep, you got it. According to a variety of sources from Forbes to CNBC, we all want more money.

As a wealth coach, it’s the #1 reason women have come to me for over 30 years. “I need more money,” they tell me.

“It’s so simple,“ I tell them. “All you have to do is spend less, save more, invest wisely.”

“But I need to make more,” they tell me.

Then I explain that wealth doesn’t come from what you earn, but from what you keep, which requires following those 3 steps.

But I’m the first to admit; while the steps may be simple and straight forward, actually putting them into practice can be extremely challenging.

The Caterpillar Story

Written by Barbara Huson

There’s a story about two caterpillars who spy a butterfly overhead. One turns to the other and says “You’ll never get me up in one of those things.”

Have you ever felt like that caterpillar? Part of you may want to fly. But another part clearly doesn’t.

That’s precisely what’s going on whenever you feel stuck—you’re experiencing an internal conflict. Part wants to. Part doesn’t.

The trick to getting unstuck isn’t by denying or fighting your resistance. What you ignore, you empower. What you resist, persists.

I speak from experience. After my divorce, I tried hard to learn about money. I’d pick up a book, attend a class, only to fog up, glaze over, give up. Until one day, a therapist challenged me.

“I really want to get smart about money,” I told him, my voice tight with desperation.

He looked me straight in the eye and said, “No you don’t. You may say you want to get smart, but you really don’t.”

I couldn’t argue. In that moment, I met the part of me that desperately wanted to stay ignorant. The part that was terrified of angering her parents, losing everything, and most of all, afraid no man would love a financially savvy woman.

I spent months getting to know this part—her fears, concerns, early family messages and cultural conditioning.

I also kept repeating positive statements in an effort to fortify the other part. I AM smart about money. I AM excited to learn. I AM a great role model for my kids. I AM attracting a man who loves a powerful woman.

I now realize I was literally reprogramming my brain. Instead of dwelling on what scared me, I focused on what I wished to create, how I desired to feel…even if it seemed impossible. As science has proven, what flows through the mind, wires the brain.

Slowly the fog lifted. I actually began enjoying the learning process, seeing results, relishing how powerful I felt. And that hasn’t changed in over 40 years.

If you aren’t getting what you say you want, what do you think you’re afraid of? Leave me a comment below.

Rewiring

Lifting The Financial Fog

The Secret to $uccess No One Ever Talks About

National Women’s (semi)Equality Day

Pruning vs Pushing

Ending the Imposter Syndrome

The Only Antidote for Fear

Living with Uncertainty

Why Willpower is Never Enough

Prince Charming Isn’t Coming—But 2024 Can Still Be Your Year of Wealth!

The Caterpillar Story

Meet Barbara Huson

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