Could You Be Asking the Wrong Question?

Written by Barbara Huson

Feeling stuck? Confused? Weighed down with worry? If you’re like most people, you’re probably asking yourself the wrong question. And wondering why you’re not making progress.

Try this. Stop wondering: “What should I do?“ and start asking yourself: “What do I need to let go of?”

Letting Go is a powerful strategy few people fully appreciate. When you pinpoint what’s holding you back, and are willing to let it go, miracles occur. But be warned. The very thing you need to let go of will be the very thing you’re most afraid to give up.

Here’s an example of what can happen when you ask yourself this powerful question.

Dee called me, desperate to get out of debt. As we talked, it became apparent. Dee’s house was more than she could afford. But she couldn’t bear to let it go.

Her home was her sanctuary, a quiet retreat, tucked away in a leafy, little village, worlds away a from all the hustle-bustle of the big city. She never locked her doors. Her closest friends were her neighbors. How could she ever let it go?

Yet it was painfully clear—her best way out of debt was to sell. It broke her heart, but it was the right thing to do. The moment she made the decision to sell, the miracles began.

She’d just sat down to write a newspaper ad when there was a knock on the door. A man introduced himself as the father of her next-door neighbor. He wondered if, by any chance, she’d consider selling her house.

Dee’s jaw dropped, but she kept her cool. They closed the deal that very day, for $15,000 above what would’ve been her asking price. And the man paid cash (yes, a big wad of cash, which went to her creditors and the rest into savings)

Dee misses her house, but the relief in her voice was palpable. In fact, she was surprisingly excited about the houses available in her price range.

Let Dee’s experience inspire you. Letting go creates space for something better to come.

What do you need to let go of? Are you ready to take the leap and watch what happens? Leave me a comment below.

How Shame Impacts Finances

Written by Barbara Huson

It was a conversation with a friend I’ll never forget. Her family was dirt poor. Mine was quite wealthy. Our childhoods were starkly different, but we shared a startling similarity.

Growing up, we both felt tremendous shame around our family’s finances. I hated being different from my friends. She loathed feeling less than her peers. I never knew if people liked me for me or my rich parents. She always suspected others pitied or looked down on her.

That’s when I realized: Money Shame is ubiquitous regardless of one’s economic status. But it’s not the money (or lack of it) that causes shame. Money simply magnifies the shame we’ve always carried.

Shame is the intense pain of feeling so awful, so flawed, so defective that we’re convinced we’re worthless and unlovable.

I believe unhealed shame is perhaps the major reason smart, capable women struggle financially. Because when shame is triggered, the logical thinking part of our brain virtually shuts down.

The Subtle Art of Self -Sabotage

Written by Barbara Huson

There’s a line in A Course in Miracles that, long ago, had a big impact on me: “What you share you strengthen.”

It was when a coach gave me an intriguing assignment that the line really came to life for me. For 2 weeks, I was to simply observe my conversations, without changing a thing. Just notice what I talked about, the words I used, my typical reactions…you know, the stuff I was sharing with others.

What I saw was not pretty. I was constantly putting myself down, without ever realizing it. I’d dismiss my skills (“Oh, that’s no big deal”). I’d deflect praise (“I thought I was awful”). I’d diminish my successes (“But I could’ve done so much better”).

Trauma—a Curse or a Catalyst?

Written by Barbara Huson

A recent headline caught my eye. “How Trauma Can Become A Catalyst For Personal Growth.”

The subject of trauma seems to be trending these days. Or maybe I’m noticing it more now because I’ve been cursed by a series of calamities.

Starting in 2020, I’ve watched my mother die, my daughter suffer a painful illness, my best friend’s cancer return, and my 12th surgery in less than 3 years. All during the pandemic! My struggles with anxiety, insomnia, anger, grief, and fear are classic symptoms of PTSD.

Finding Peace in the Midst of Pain

Written by Barbara Huson

Years ago, during a devastating crisis, I saw a quote that struck a nerve: “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”

I felt the deep wisdom in those words. Yet I couldn’t figure out how to apply them to my life. Here I was, facing a crushing divorce from a compulsive liar, a million-dollar tax bill I couldn’t pay, and my parents refusing to help. Left alone to raise 3 young daughters, I was terrified.

Since that time, I’ve often wondered—Is it really possible to find peace in the midst of pain? The answer escaped me…

Until this week…when Katie Adler, a member of my online community, shared an article about Wabi Sabi.

Wabi Sabi, an ancient Japanese philosophy, is all about finding peace and beauty in imperfection. And it offers a simple but practical formula for experiencing pain without suffering:

“Accept what is, stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple, transient stages of life.”

The Anxiety Cure (It’s Not What You’d Expect)

Written by Barbara Huson

Money + Anxiety go together like a fifth of vodka and a hangover. An inevitable outcome unless you’re really careful.

Whether you don’t have enough or simply don’t know enough; whether you’re overspending or underearning; whether the market’s plunging or your debt is mounting…anxiety is unavoidable.

If you’re feeling anxious because of your finances (or anything else), what are you supposed to do? Live with the angst?

No, claims The Wall Street Journal. Try Sighing! Yes, you read the right. Let me hear an “AHHHHHHHH.”

Savings Can Be Fun! (Who Knew????)

Written by Barbara Huson

She had long avoided savings. Until she got an idea. What if the next time she did something scary, she rewarded herself by contributing a small amount to a saving account?

“Today I dealt with a confusing problem at work and got it resolved,” she explained in The Wealth Connection chat group, “So I just added a dollar to my savings! It’s a great feeling. I’m having a lot of fun saving! “

The moral of this story: Savings can actually be fun when you frame it as a reward.

Positive reinforcement—anything from patting yourself on the back to paying yourself a dollar—works for one simple fact. It feels good…which triggers the release of pleasurable chemicals like dopamine, encouraging your brain to keep repeating the behavior.

The Myth of “More”

Written by Barbara Huson

I have always found myself yearning for more…more money, more success, more sales, more ______ (fill in the blank).

I proudly considered this constant yearning a healthy sign of a robust ambition. Until I began studying neuroscience and realized how truly unhealthy this kind of thinking actually is.

Here’s why. We literally sculpt our brain by what we dwell on. The more we think a thought or feel an emotion, the stronger that neuropathway becomes in our brain.

By constantly hungering for more, I was inadvertently telling my brain “I don’t have enough.”

The more I repeated that thought, the stronger the “not enough” neuropathway grew, until I’d unconsciously do things that kept reinforcing my experience of ‘not enough.’

You Say You Want More Money, But…

Written by Barbara Huson

If intentions are so powerful, why don’t they always pan out? What if you swear you want to make more money? Your intent is sincere, your desire is strong, but try as you might, your paycheck remains paltry.

If this is the case, it’s for this reason:

You get what you want, not what you ask for.

The distinction is critical.

We all have numerous intentions. Many we aren’t even aware of. You run into trouble when your expressed goals are at odds with your unconscious desires.

When a buried intention—say, to stay safe or be comfortable—is stronger than your spoken one—to be profitable—you’ll stop yourself at every turn.

If you’re not getting it, for whatever reason, chances are, unconsciously, you may not want it. This is why the inner work is so critical.

You must dig a little deeper to make sure that…

your declared intention is an authentic reflection of who you are and what you want
conflicting intentions aren’t inadvertently impeding your progress
your intent to profit doesn’t run counter to the way you were raised, the role you’ve assumed, or the beliefs you embrace.

Can you identify the intentions that are keeping you from getting what you say you want? Leave me a comment below.

Those Ticking Time Bombs

Written by Lynda Jo Schuessler

To most people, obstacles are like ticking time bombs, something to quickly defuse or preferably avoid altogether.

But for the financially successful, obstacles are doorways to healing, portals to prosperity. What seems to get in the way is the way to transformation.

Difficulties are not diversions from Greatness but evidence of dysfunctional patterns that must be corrected in order to follow your true calling.

Every challenge provides the chance to respond in a new way, as if your Soul is saying: “Choose again, not as you have in the past.”

Rewiring

Could You Be Asking the Wrong Question?

How Shame Impacts Finances

The Subtle Art of Self -Sabotage

Trauma—a Curse or a Catalyst?

Finding Peace in the Midst of Pain

The Anxiety Cure (It’s Not What You’d Expect)

Savings Can Be Fun! (Who Knew????)

The Myth of “More”

You Say You Want More Money, But…

Those Ticking Time Bombs

Meet Barbara Huson

Recent Blog Posts