Why You Probably Suck at Receiving

Written by Barbara Huson

In this season of giving, it’s worth stopping and giving some thought to how you receive. Here’s another blog from the archives to think about.

Consider this. There’s a direct correlation between your ability to receive and your level of financial success.

The problem, however—most of us suck at receiving.

Think about it. How often do you gloss over praise, deflect admiration, deny an achievement or respond with self-criticism?

Receiving is to your Soul what eating is to your body—a source of strength, nourishment, and growth. When you fail to receive, you’re literally starving your Soul.

But here’s where it gets tricky. Many gifts come camouflaged and are easily overlooked. To receive fully you must suspend judgment. Nothing that happens is ‘good’ or ‘bad, ’right’ or ‘wrong,’ ‘negative’ or ‘positive.’

Everything, absolutely everything, no matter how it feels, is a gift, a message, a lesson, a form of divine communication.

This, of course, is counterintuitive. It’s easy to receive a compliment from a friend, but a reprimand from your boss? That too can be a gift when you mine it for its deeper meaning.

To quote a Zen saying, the obstacle is the path. “So that like oxygen to a fire,” writes author Robert Greene, “obstacles and adversity become fuel for your potential.”

To receive fully means this: Every frustration, disappointment or even failure is, in truth, a source of guidance, support, and strength building…a gift, that if fully received, will increase your success exponentially.

I’d love to hear your experiences of how past disappointments turned out to be gifts in disguise. Share your story in the comments below.

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I Am Writing

Written by Barbara Huson

If you’ve been following me for any length of time, you know that I’m writing my 7th book, Rewire for Wealth. My publisher’s given me a very tight deadline. With holidays looming, I’ve decided to take a short break from my weekly blog.

But, I don’t want to leave you, my loyal readers, without some weekly encouragement so my wonderful assistant, Lynda Jo, will be posting past blogs you may have missed—or, as is so often the case, you need to review again (it’s amazing how things will land in your inbox just when you need them). You’ll also see updates on my writing progress.

Here’s the first encore from August, 2018.

My Personal Experience in Rewiring

I’m making myself crazy. I’ve been doing it for months. Ever since I decided I was ready to birth my next book. In a fit of over-zealous optimism, I gave myself till summer’s end to finish the proposal.

Well, summer is quickly coming to a close. My proposal, however, is nowhere near completion. Not even close. I’ve been beating myself up—unmercifully—for missing my goal.

I’m a big believer in setting deadlines. They’re terrific tools for staying on track. But, I’m recognizing, there’s a major downside to made-up deadlines.

The trouble comes when I don’t meet them. Rather than rethink the timing, I scold myself severely for screwing up.

Oh the absurdity of artificial deadlines! Yet, on reflection, I realize I’ve done this my whole life.

In fact, I suddenly realize, it’s actually a habit that’s been hardwired in my brain. And the very thing I’m writing my book about—3 steps to rewiring the brain—is precisely what I need to put into practice. Yes, there’s hope!!!

I’ve already begun the 1st Step: Recognize. I clearly see that chastising myself for falling short of an arbitrary deadline is unhealthy, unproductive and habitual. Sure, deadlines can be motivating. But self-flagellation is no way to foster creativity.

Now, the 2nd step, Reframe. I need to see this differently. Looking back, I realize (big sigh!) proposals always got written, projects always got completed…just not on my schedule. Instead of defying the current, what if I deferred to Divine timing? Only in hind sight can I possibly know what’s actually in my own best interest.

Finally the 3rd step, Respond Differently. I make a promise to myself. From now on, if I’m feeling stuck, if doors stay closed, if nothing flows freely and it ceases to be fun, I’m viewing these as indicators that it’s time to surrender and reassess rather than doggedly pursue a rigid decision.

The essence of my rewiring experience boils down to this: I’d rather live with the tranquility that comes from trusting a Higher Power than the stress of self-imposed pressure.

Are you still pursuing a goal that’s past its “expiration date”? Why? Leave a comment below.

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I’m in Resistance! How Do I Get Out of It?

Written by Barbara Huson

You know the feeling. You finally decide to take the financial reins. You’ll pay off your debt, save for emergencies, invest regularly for retirement.

Off you go—to take a financial class, talk to an advisor, buy a money book—when suddenly, you run smack dab into Resistance.

Resistance is the psychological term for, “I don’t want to do this!”

You cancel the appointment, lose interest in the book, sit through the class, but nothing sinks in. You figure money’s not your thing. Eventually, you quit trying.

Resistance, more than anything else, is what stops women from taking the financial reins. But it doesn’t need to derail you, at least not for long.

You need to understand that resistance is normal. It’s a signal that you’re changing, not that something is wrong.

Find a friend, a colleague or financial professional to hold you accountable. Whatever it is you don’t want to do, that is exactly what you need to do next.

Dig deeper to find what lies on the other side of Resistance.

It’s your Power.

And that’s really what scares us. Not managing our money, but owning our power.

Which is why I created The Wealth Connection, an online community of women supporting women ready to claim their power. I invite you to check it out here.

I’d love to hear what you’ve done to overcome your resistance. Leave me a comment below.

Get the support you need to create the Wealth you desire in my virtual community of women supporting women, The Wealth Connection. Now only $47/month! Join the conversation today!

How Do You Know When You’re Really RICH?

Written by Barbara Huson

Quick, answer this question with the first number that comes to mind: How much money does it take to be

Of course, you may argue, there’s more to being rich than having money—there’s love, health, freedom, etc. All true. But for the purpose of this blog, and in the spirit of research, let’s stick with a specific figure.

According to Robert Frank’s blog, The Wealth Report, no one can agree on a specific amount.

The Federal Reserve claims you’re in the top 5% of Americans if you have a networth of $1.4 million.
In a poll by Spectrem Group of affluent people, only 22% said $1 million makes you rich.
The majority (45%) of this poll said it took at least $5 million to qualify.
A quarter of the respondents swore that you need a minimum of $25 million.
A few (8%) even put the winning number at $100 million.
Other studies find that people “always give a number that is twice their current net worth or income. Those with $100,000 in income say $200,000, while those worth $5million say $10 million.”

The best definition I’ve ever seen for “rich” goes like this: “rich is when you work because you want to, not because you have to.” I don’t know who said it, but it makes the most sense.

Anyone have a better definition than that?? Leave me a comment below.

Get the support you need to create the Wealth you desire in my virtual community of women supporting women, The Wealth Connection. Now only $47/month! Join the conversation today!

12 Surefire Tips to Successfully Negotiate

Written by Barbara Huson

To state the obvious—the most efficient way for entrepreneurs to earn more is to raise their prices.

The same holds true if you’re an employee. You must negotiate for more, whether taking a new job or requesting a raise.

Yet this comes as a revelation to many, and a source terror to most.

But think about this. Linda Babcock, in Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and Gender Divide writes, “A woman who routinely negotiates her salary increases will earn over $1 million dollars more by the time she retires than a woman who accepts what she’s offered every time without asking for more.”

A salary offer is not a foregone conclusion. Ninety percent of Human Resource professionals polled expect salaries to be negotiated. Here are 12 surefire tips for a successful negotiation.

1. Research the going rates in your field. Ask the high end of the spectrum. You can always negotiate down, but never up.

2. Have points prepared, build a case, around your value and what you bring to the company.

3. Always start negotiations on a positive note. For example, thank the employer for the opportunity before making a counter offer.

4. “No” means “not now.”

5. Negotiate salary only after a job offer. Don’t be the first to bring it up. As one expert explained, “Make them fall in love with you before talking money.”

6. Can’t get the amount you want? Negotiate other items: early salary review, profit sharing, educational programs, etc

7. Act confident (even if you don’t feel it). Communicate with authority. Perceived confidence has a big impact.

8. Request 24 to 72 hours to think over the offer.

9. If someone acts put off by a reasonable counter offer, consider it a red flag or negotiating ploy. Perhaps the employer doesn’t value you or wants to intimidate you into agreement.

10. The best time to negotiate is when you have job offers from another company.

11. Get the offer in writing.

12, Above all, focus on relationship building. It’s tougher for someone to say ‘no’ if they like you.

How do you feel about negotiating? Leave a comment below.

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It’s Time to Get Tough!

Written by Barbara Huson

If you wanna play a bigger game, you gotta toughen up! That means disconnecting from your Inner Pleaser and growing thicker skin.

By nature, we women want everyone’s approval. Successful women are no different. Almost everyone I’ve interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

However, success requires us to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often have negative consequences for other people.

Toughening up, however, doesn’t mean you have to harden your heart, numb your senses, or go all macho.

It does mean you need to dramatically shift your priorities to: I’d rather be respected than liked.

This one shift in thinking–I’d rather be respected than liked–means developing a rhinoceroses hide while keeping an open heart. This is precisely how we’ll become strong, effective leaders without compromising our feminine nature.

As one woman told me, “I tried to be nice rather than stand by my convictions. But I learned you can’t always be liked, but you can definitely be respected.”

Where do you need to toughen up? If you’re like me, I bet it’s not just at work, but on the home-front too.

Get the support you need to create the Wealth you desire in my virtual community of women supporting women, The Wealth Connection. Now only $47/month! Join the conversation today!

Wanna Know the Real Secrets to Six-Figures?

Written by Barbara Huson

When I interviewed six-figure women, I discovered 8 secrets to becoming a high earner. They weren’t at all what I expected.

I’ve listed them below. Try them on. Test them out. Apply them to your situation. Do any conflict with your current assumptions?

Secret #1: Financial success is possible in almost any field, and lack of education doesn’t have to hold you back!

Secret #2: Working hard doesn’t mean working all the time.

Secret #3: Focus on fulfilling your values rather than achieving financial goals.

Secret #4: Loving what you do is much more important than what you do.

Secret #5: Feel the fear. Have the doubts. Go for it anyway.

Secret #6: Think in terms of trade-offs, not sacrifices, to find a workable balance.

Secret #7: Sometimes you just have to shrug it off and have a good laugh.

Secret #8: Appreciate abundance.

These 8 secrets became the guiding principles that shaped these women’s success. They certainly shaped mine. May they do the same for you.

If you’re a six-figure woman (or on your way to becoming one) share one of your secrets of success here.

Get the support you need to create the Wealth you desire in my virtual community of women supporting women, The Wealth Connection. Now only $47/month! Join the conversation today!

Is Financial Success a Pressing Priority?

Written by Barbara Huson

You say you want to make more money, right? But understand this. Nothing will happen until you make a conscious commitment, until financial success becomes a pressing priority.

A commitment is not the same as a goal. A goal denotes the desired destination. A commitment means you’re determined to reach it…no matter what.

Here’s the beauty of a committed decision. You don’t need to have a plan all figured out. All you have to do is decide what you want and do what comes next.

Commitments are like magnets. They attract opportunities.

But be warned: those opportunities always lie just outside your comfort zone. At some point you must decide what you’re really committed to: increasing your income or staying where it’s safe. You can’t have both.

Are you committed to financial success? Yes or no? Leave a comment below and tell me about the next step you’ll need to take.

Get the support you need to create the Wealth you desire in my virtual community of women supporting women, The Wealth Connection. Now only $47/month! Join the conversation today!

Who Said Money Equals Power?

Written by Barbara Huson

Money does not give you power. Power comes from the choices you make. That’s a very important distinction. Not all high earners are powerful women.

Successful women fall into two groups. The Successful High Earners and the Hard-driven High Earners.

Hard Driven High Earners are superwomen on steroids, classic workaholics, wholl breakdown before they slow down. They are not powerful women. They live in deprivation…not necessarily of money, but time, joy, freedom, and control of their life.

Successful High Earners, on the other hand, actually take time for relaxation and self-reflection. Their decisions are based, not on fear, but on their most cherished values.

One Successful High Earner I interviewed told me about a workshop where she was asked this question: If you were on your deathbed, looking back at your life, what would make you feel happiest and satisfied with how you lived? From that came a list of her top 5 values.

Soon after, a friend asked her to be on the board of a business he was starting in China. The meetings would be all expense paid weekends in San Francisco. There was a time she would’ve jumped at the chance but, she realized, Chinese business wasn’t one of her priorities.

“It would’ve been fun,” she told me. “I would’ve met interesting people, but it would’ve taken me away from my partner and the book I was writing, the truly important things in my life.

Have you looked at your top values lately? Are you living your priorities? Leave a comment below.

What do you say when someone calls you a B*tch? Thank You!

Written by Barbara Huson

One question I always ask financially successful women: What is your biggest regret?

Almost everyone has the same response. Not speaking up sooner. As one woman, a 7th grade drop-out, told me: “You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you demand.”

But even the most successful found it downright scary to ask for what they wanted, to say no to what they didn’t.

You know why? Studies prove that assertive, forceful men are given high marks by their bosses. Assertive, forceful women are labeled a bitch.

I’m here to tell you—being a bitch is not a bad thing. That’s where our power is.

I’m not talking about the bitchy part. That’s the co-dependent in us who suppresses her true needs and gets very resentful.

The bitch is the powerful part who refuses to be a doormat, a victim, or tolerate injustices; who has the courage to be who she is and want what she wants.

Because you see, a bitch is a Babe In Total Control of Herself.

What do you do to stand up for what you want? Tell me in the comments below.

Get the support you need to create the Wealth you desire in my virtual community of women supporting women, The Wealth Connection. Now only $47/month! Join the conversation today!

Success

Why You Probably Suck at Receiving

I Am Writing

My Personal Experience in Rewiring

I’m in Resistance! How Do I Get Out of It?

How Do You Know When You’re Really RICH?

12 Surefire Tips to Successfully Negotiate

It’s Time to Get Tough!

Wanna Know the Real Secrets to Six-Figures?

Is Financial Success a Pressing Priority?

Who Said Money Equals Power?

What do you say when someone calls you a B*tch? Thank You!

Meet Barbara Huson

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