The Psychology of Affluence

Written by Barbara Huson

F. Scott Fitzgerald once said to Hemingway “The rich are different from you and me.” To which the other author replied: “Yes, they have more money.”

True. But let’s take it a step deeper. The reason the rich have more money, I believe, is that they think differently.

My family was wealthy. So were most of their friends. Over the years I’ve talked to thousands of affluent women.

One day, I made a list of things I consistently hear them say or imply.

I’m not talking about highly paid celebrities that go in and out of bankruptcy, but those who sustain their wealth over a long period. I came up with 9 common threads that seem to represent how they think.

National Women’s (semi)Equality Day

Written by Barbara Huson

Monday, August 26th we celebrated National Women’s Equality Day recognizing the passage of the 19th amendment in 1920 which gave women the right to vote.

Honestly, I know I should be celebrating this victory. But I’m having a hard time getting in the mood.

Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m beyond grateful to those gutsy, courageous suffragettes.

But recently I listened to a Ted Talk by one of my favorite actresses, read a WSJ profile of an acclaimed microbiologist and coached a high-level executive…all of whom wearily spoke of their struggles with sexism.

Clearly full equality is far from won. The Equal Rights Amendment, proposed in 1923, has yet to be ratified. Face it, we can’t rely on the government to level the playing field for us.

If we want a seat at the table, it’s our job to take it. We can start by becoming the change we want to see in the world.

Call it a grassroots effort, a personal challenge. What if we each celebrate National Women’s Equality Day by taking on this challenge with the same ferocity and fortitude demonstrated by the suffragettes?

How? Here are a few simple suggestions. And, while they may be simple, they take tremendous courage and commitment.

Notice every time you devalue yourself or dismiss your strengths and STOP, immediately shifting your focus to the unique and valuable the gifts you have to offer.
Notice where you give your power away and strive to take it back by speaking up—asking for what you want, saying ‘no’ to what you don’t—in your home, your community, your workplace.
Notice when you feel scared, isolated or helpless and make yourself reach out for support, then offer to help and encourage others in this endeavor.

I truly believe, when enough women see themselves as worthy, capable, powerful individuals, there will be a notable transformation in the national landscape.

Perhaps then we’ll be celebrating National Equality Day for All.

Will you join me? Leave me a comment below.

How I Rewired My Brain for Higher Earnings…without even realizing I was doing it.

Written by Barbara Huson

Here’s a revealing exercise. How would you complete the sentence: I’d love to make more money, but_______________.

You probably came up with some perfectly good reasons why you can’t: “I’m too old. I’m too young. I don’t have time. I have little kids. I don’t want to work that hard.”

Your reasons may feel rational. But they are not the truth. They are simply deep-seated beliefs, messages you repeatedly heard growing up that have become deeply embedded in your brain.

How A Sneaky Scam Became a Spiritual Experience

Written by Barbara Huson

I recently fell for a scam. It started with a Facebook ad for a pair of purple Skechers. The shoes were adorable. The ad looked legit. I made an impulsive decision without second-guessing.

When the shoes finally came, they were clearly crappy knock-offs. My requests for a refund met with stony silence.

Angry and frustrated, I shared my plight on Facebook, and received an outpouring of support and advice. I trashed the shoes, disputed the charges, and the credit card company reimbursed me immediately.

This ordeal taught me a valuable lesson: Never trust social media ads.

But more importantly, the experience served as a profound symbol for a spiritual principle…a sort of metaphysical wake-up call.

I’ve long been a student of A Course in Miracles, a spiritual text centered around mind training. It emphasizes the power of the mind and the importance of distinguishing between the voice of fear (or Ego) and the voice of love (or Soul).

The Lesson at the Liquor Store

Written by Barbara Huson

So, I’m standing in line at the liquor store, holding 2 bottles of a Chardonnay on sale for $3.99. (Who can refuse a bargain like that?)

An elderly woman is paying the clerk. Behind her, in front of me, a scruffy guy with a bottle of Jack Daniels fumbles with the Lottery machine.

“Maybe I’ll win,” he says to no one in particular.

I say, remembering an article I once read, “Did you hear about the couple who won a $20 million lottery and gave it all away because they didn’t want it?” I recall, at the time, thinking: why anyone would do that?

What if Your Money Problems Aren’t Actually About Money?

Written by Barbara Huson

She was smart, successful, making good money…yet was at her wits end.

“There are periods when I manage to save a lot,” she told me. “But then I start overspending and ignoring my money. It’s like I can’t help it.”

Even after years of taking financial workshops, reading money books, doing personal growth work, she felt stuck in a frustrating pattern that was taking a toll on her health and her happiness.

“It feels like a vicious cycle I can’t get off,” she moaned.

She couldn’t stop because she didn’t have a money problem. She had a Money Disorder. There’s a big difference.

A Money Disorder is a chronic, self-destructive pattern caused by unconscious beliefs that cause dysfunctional behaviors associated with money.

Money Disorders, left untreated, can ruin your quality of life, wreck your relationships, destroy your peace of mind, leaving you feeling hopeless and helpless.

The Question is: How do you know if your difficulties with money are actually a more serious disorder?

According to an online article titled: 15 Fascinating Signs You May Have a Money Disorder, these are the classic symptoms:

You can’t define what having ‘enough’ money means.
You keep credit cards and bank account info from your partner.
You keep piling on.
You avoid spending money at all costs.
You use money as a way to fill a void.
You’re living in extremes.
Your life is in chaos as a result of your spending habits.
You’re in denial about your debts.
You’re a workaholic.
You’re a pathological gambler.
Having money makes you feel guilty.
You find it hard to say no when people ask for money.
You give people money even if you know you’re enabling their poor financial choices.
You lie to your partner about how much you spend.
You refuse to talk about money at all.

If you have even one of these signs, the culprit is not financial, but as the article explains, it’s an “emotional and spiritual imbalance” which requires deeper, emotional healing with a skillful therapist.

I recommend working with someone who specializes in trauma therapy or joining a support group like my online community, The Wealth Connection.

To read the full article, click HERE.

How would you rate your relationship with money— a problem or a money disorder? Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Why I Have a Problem with “Rich”

Written by Barbara Huson

My passion is helping women become wealthy. I notice, however, I rarely, if ever, use the word ‘rich.’

I remember when, decades ago, David Bach sent me a copy of Smart Women Finish Rich. My first book had just been published, one of the earliest finance books geared to women, and he wanted to talk.

I loved what he wrote, but the word, ‘rich’ turned me off. I couldn’t understand why.

Then, last week, I received a newsletter from Nick Maggiulli, titled: Rich vs Wealthy: A Comprehensive Guide to Different Financial Lifestyles.

Finally, I realized why ‘rich’ never resonated.

It’s Time to Toughen Up!

Written by Barbara Huson

Want to know the big secret to financial success? I got it straight from the mouths of women who make six and seven figures.

If you want to play a bigger game, you’ve got to toughen up!

Toughening up means disconnecting from your Inner Pleaser and growing thicker skin.

By nature, we women want everyone to be happy with us. Successful women are no different. Almost all I interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

However, success requires us to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often have negative consequences for other people.

In fact, virtually all the women I interviewed told me that their biggest regret was not making tough decisions sooner.

Problems Are Starting Points

Written by Barbara Huson

I had a profound revelation while interviewing successful women. Their financial achievements were invariably preceded by a financial challenge.

That’s when I realized: problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get your attention.

The place to begin is admitting what’s not working in your life. It could be anything from bankruptcy or burn out; from feeling undervalued or overworked; from getting a divorce, or desperately wanting one

No matter how subtle, how small, or how sizable and scary, your willingness to face the problem head on is the first step to breaking through it.

Having a Hard Time Saving and Investing? Let Me Make It Super Easy!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

After my divorce from the gambling husband and after I paid the outrageous tax bills, my nest egg was almost depleted. But I had a few properties that paid rent every month.

One of the first things I did, when that rent came in, before I spent a cent, I immediately put a portion of it into savings. Otherwise, I knew I’d spend it all.

And I did it automatically. It was so simple. I filled out a form and the bank automatically transferred money from my checking account to savings. The amount was small at first, but it added up quickly. I didn’t even have to think about it.

Automating gave me discipline without having to work at it. It’s easy to say that you’ll move money monthly into savings. In practice, however, it just doesn’t happen. You forget. You overspend, You have a hundred excuses.

But by automating, you don’t miss what you don’t see. This was the beginning of my creating really good financial habits—habits I still practice today.

Uncategorized

The Psychology of Affluence

National Women’s (semi)Equality Day

How I Rewired My Brain for Higher Earnings…without even realizing I was doing it.

How A Sneaky Scam Became a Spiritual Experience

The Lesson at the Liquor Store

What if Your Money Problems Aren’t Actually About Money?

Why I Have a Problem with “Rich”

It’s Time to Toughen Up!

If you want to play a bigger game, you’ve got to toughen up!

Problems Are Starting Points

Having a Hard Time Saving and Investing? Let Me Make It Super Easy!!!

Meet Barbara Huson

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