Check if any of these apply to you:

• You’re angry, but don’t say anything.
• You’d like to say ‘no,’ but you can’t.
• You want something, but don’t ask for it.
• You get an idea but don’t act on it.

If you’ve checked even one, it’s a sign you’re giving your power away. And you’re not alone.

The question is: Why are so many women reluctant to say what we think, feel, or need?

“Research shows that suppression activates the amygdala in your brain, where your body’s fight of flight response resides. Suppression will make you more anxious in the long run and will have harmful effects on your health.” ~~Wall Street Journal

Years ago, I noticed a puzzling phenomenon. It’s far more prevalent today. I call it the Secret Shame of Successful Women.

Bright, sophisticated professionals, making ample incomes, who have little (if anything) in the bank to show for it.

These women look like the epitome of success—whip smart, business savvy, high earners—yet they can’t seem to manage their money.

They’re either too ashamed to reach out for help (I should be able to do this) or stubbornly resist taking action when they do (I have no time).

At first it didn’t make sense. You’d think they’d know better, right?

She sat across the table, looking like the savvy businesswoman she was.

As we chatted over kale salads, she told me how her company, not yet two years old, was growing exponentially.

Then she lowered her voice and leaned in close. “There’s something I need to talk about. I’ve never shared this with anyone.”

“What is it?” I asked, also leaning forward. I could tell this was difficult for her.

“I’m afraid of success. I can already see little ways I’m holding myself back.”

When I asked what scared her, she replied, “I’m afraid people won’t like me. I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m scared it will all be too much.”

 “You’re not afraid of success,” I responded. “You’re afraid of power. There’s a distinct difference.”

This conversation reveals a critical distinction that more women need to understand. Success is the outcome we desire to achieve. Power is what it takes to create this outcome. 

I dream of the day when every woman knows, deep down, that she has the capacity to create wealth and the confidence to actually do it.

I suspect for some of you, however, the mere mention of the “W” word feels wrong, bad, like ‘how can I be rich when so many are poor?’

But consider the words of Abraham Lincoln: “If you want to help a poor person, do not be one.”

Besides, creating wealth is about far more than amassing riches. It’s about waking up to the truth of who you are and the power you have, the enormous power, to not only create wealth but to use it as a tool to help others.