To Earn More, Learn to Toughen Up (Without Hardening Your Heart)

Written by Barbara Huson

By nature, we women tend to be pleasers. We want everyone to like us.

High earners are no different. Almost every six-and seven-figure woman I’ve interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

But financial success requires us to make difficult, even painful decisions that often have negative consequences for others—like firing folks you like, holding tight in tense negotiations, enforcing an unpopular policy, dismissing high paying but difficult clients, enduring multiple rejections and disappointments.

So many women I interviewed regretted not making those tough decisions sooner. As one told me: “I kept trying to be nice. Eventually I had to toughen up.”

Toughening up doesn’t mean you have to harden your heart, numb your senses, or act all macho.

Toughening up does require a dramatic shift in mindset, which sounds like this: I’d rather be respected than liked.

4 Foolproof Techniques for Calming Fear

Written by Barbara Huson

I often ask under earners, “When’s the last time you did something you were scared to do?” They’d scratch their heads, seemingly stumped.

When I ask high earners, they laugh and say, “All the time. It’s a way of life.”

Ages ago, after one of those conversations, I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote, in red crayon: Do What You Fear. That’s How You Succeed. It still sits, framed, on my desk today.

Though Joseph Campbell put it far more eloquently: “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”

Admittedly, entering the Cave of Fear is…well…terrifying…for everyone. I have yet to meet a successful woman who hasn’t struggled with fear and self-doubt.

Observations From a Financial Therapist: Money Problems Are Never About Money

Written by Barbara Huson

Let me give you my perspective on why you’re having money problems. This comes from 25 years working as a Financial Therapist.

You know that financial difficulty you’re facing—big or small? It’s about far more than money. It is, in truth, the call of your Soul trying to get your attention.

This problem actually provides you with a powerful opportunity for personal transformation. But what begins as a whisper will, if ignored, grow increasingly louder.

When you finally decide to face your difficulty, you begin the process of becoming all you’re meant to be.

Confronting and solving a Financial Challenge is what opens the door between the life you now live and the life you could be creating. On the other side of that door lies your power.

Wanna Write a Book? 7 Secrets for Aspiring Authors

Written by Barbara Huson

I just finished my 7th book. Hard to believe after what I went through with my first one. As excited as I was to begin that first time, when I read the crap I wrote, I tore up the pages, feeling defeated.

My yearning to write kept me coming back, only to repeat the pattern yet again. This went on for months. I’d rip up pages in disgust and walk away in frustration.

Still the book kept calling. But clearly, I had neither skill nor talent to write it.

Then one day, while walking down a bustling San Francisco sidewalk during rush hour, I overheard two people chatting behind me.

He: I’m so frustrated trying to write this book. I just don’t have the time!

She: I know! Everyone wants to write a book. But no one’s got the time. And that’s really what it takes—putting your tush in the chair until you’re done.

Rewiring Your Brain for Higher Earnings

Written by Barbara Huson

In my book, Overcoming Underearning, there’s a story about a snail climbing a cherry tree in the middle of winter. A beetle looks down, spies the snail slowly inching up the frozen bark, and cries out, “There ain’t no cherries up here.”

Unfazed, the snail replies, “There will be by the time I get there.”

That little snail offers us a potent formula for financial success. Think big. Act small. And, no matter what, never, ever stop until you attain your goal.

The idea is that if you do something everyday, no matter how small, no matter how brief, you will eventually arrive at your destination.

But it’s not just the practical, external steps that matter. The inner work is a critical factor.

How Do I Find My Purpose? (Part II)

Written by Barbara Huson

Pinpointing your purpose is like finding your north star. No matter what’s going on in your life, your purpose will always point you toward your Soul’s desired direction.

I’ve known my purpose for years—to empower women financially. For those of you wishing to find—or redefine—yours, let me give you some ideas on where to look, based on my own experience.

1. In Past Pain

I had a line in my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, that my editor cut because she considered it corny. “In our deepest pain, lies our highest purpose.” I’m not sure our life purpose has to come from pain, but it’s a good place to start looking. It’s where I found my direction. What’s been your most painful challenge in life?

When You Combine Profit with Purpose…Watch Out!!! (Part 1)

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ve learned so much from interviewing high earners. Above all, I learned that a Profit Motive is a prerequisite for financial success.

But what propelled those women to higher levels was an added spiritual component, a deep commitment to a Higher Purpose.

While men tend to be motivated largely by profit, perks, and prestige, once we women are financially secure, we shift our focus to how we can serve.

“It happened when my mentality shifted to making a difference,” a successful financial advisor told me of how she went from six figures to seven. “You get to a point where you have more than you need, so you start thinking how you can help others.”

Thriving, Not Just Surviving…Post Pandemic

Written by Barbara Huson

The pandemic is hopefully subsiding. Many of you (including myself) may be wondering, as things change, how can I thrive, not just survive, financially?

After all, we are entering a ‘new normal.’ Unexpected doors may be opening. New opportunities may appear.

To make sure you thrive, you must heed these 5 words: Financial Success belongs to the focused.

Without focus, it’s easy to get sidetracked by multiple distractions fighting for your attention.

But with focus, conflicting objectives cease to control you, making it easier (and less stressful) to take decisive action without second guessing.

Admittedly, focusing can be frustrating for the multi-talented or very gifted. So what’s the trick to getting focused?

In a word: Prioritize. Focus exclusively on the tasks that will help you flourish financially. All else goes on the back burner.

When Intentions Don’t Work…No Matter How Powerful They Are

Written by Barbara Huson

If intentions are so powerful, why don’t they always pan out? What if you swear you want to make more money, but try as you might, nothing changes?

For one reason: You get what you want, not what you ask for. The distinction is critical.

We all have numerous intentions, many we aren’t even aware of. You run into trouble when your expressed intentions are at odds with your unconscious ones.

When an implicit desire–say, to feel safe–is stronger than your spoken intention–to be profitable (which always requires going outside your comfort zone)–you’ll stop yourself at every turn.

You’ll water down your efforts, make misguided choices, and justify your actions with a variety of excuses (“I’d love to, but…).

You may say, and believe, you want to make more, but that’s not the message that’s reaching your brain.

The Immense Power of A Strong Intention (Part I)

Written by Barbara Huson

I can personally vouch for the incredible power of a strong intention!

Years ago, I noticed that just about every High Earner described a moment in her past, when she said to herself, with utter conviction: “It’s time to make more money.”

She didn’t always believe it possible or know how she’d do it. But she was definitely determined.

Compare that to Underearners. Almost without exception, they’d tell me “I’d love to make more money, but…” as they listed off a litany of excuses.

And indeed, their incomes remained consistently low.

I was quite struck by the difference in the responses of High Earners vs. Underearners. So one day I took a post-it note, wrote $125,000 on it, and stuck it on my computer. That was my earnings goal for the year.

Women & Power

To Earn More, Learn to Toughen Up (Without Hardening Your Heart)

4 Foolproof Techniques for Calming Fear

Observations From a Financial Therapist: Money Problems Are Never About Money

Wanna Write a Book? 7 Secrets for Aspiring Authors

Rewiring Your Brain for Higher Earnings

How Do I Find My Purpose? (Part II)

When You Combine Profit with Purpose…Watch Out!!! (Part 1)

Thriving, Not Just Surviving…Post Pandemic

When Intentions Don’t Work…No Matter How Powerful They Are

The Immense Power of A Strong Intention (Part I)

Meet Barbara Huson

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