The Heroine’s Journey: The Feminine Path to Financial Independence

Written by Barbara Huson

In my book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming, I likened the process of financial independence to a Hero’s Journey.

However, as I have since discovered, Heroines follow a somewhat different path. And those differences are significant.

In traditional accounts, the male Hero, responding to “The Call” (something’s missing or was taken), sets out in search of treasure (the holy grail or helpless maiden). As he travels (outside his comfort zone), he battles dragons and experiences ordeals (his fears), ultimately finding the treasure (something outside of himself).

In this traditional telling, the man is the savior; the woman is the passive princess.

The Heroine’s Journey also begins with “The Call” (she’s unhappy or dissatisfied). Unfortunately, women too often respond by waiting to be saved.

Welcoming Your Warrior Archetype

Written by Barbara Huson

There is inside each of us a long-buried treasure—a deep-seated source of strength, daring, and focus—otherwise known as the Warrior Archetype.

This Archetype is the psychological blueprint for leadership and courage, for fierce determination in the face of endless obstacles.

I believe the Warrior Archetype provides the missing link in women’s evolution. The Warrior carries the hardwiring for our power.

Unfortunately, a lot of women shun this Archetype. They equate Warrior energy with cruelty, destruction and violence.

What’s Emotion Got to Do With It? Everything!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

I call it the Secret Shame of Successful Women. And I see it all the time. Bright, sophisticated professionals, making ample incomes, who have little (if anything) to show for it.

Their problem isn’t lack of money. That’s merely a symptom. The real problem is that money is a far more emotional subject than the financial industry recognizes…which does a huge disservice to women.

After decades in this business, I’m convinced that the major reason smart, capable women struggle financially is because of Unresolved Emotions. Emotions such as fear, grief, anger and shame, incurred during their lifetime or passed down from earlier generations.

The Truth Will Set You Free…And Here’s Why.

Written by Barbara Huson

“ I really want to make more money, but where do I start?” I get this question constantly. My answer is always the same.

Start by telling the truth about what’s not working in your life…without having a solution in sight.

Simply telling the truth has tremendous power. Problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get your attention.

As I’ve witnessed countless times, financial success is most often preceded by acknowledging a financial challenge.

Your particular challenge could be as subtle as a nagging sense that you’re not happy to the agonizing awareness that you can’t pay your rent, yet again.

Facing a challenge does not mean rushing ahead with possible solutions or passively accepting the situation as “That’s just the way it is.”

Facing a challenge means telling the truth about why it’s there in the first place. That’s when you’ll come to realize that every difficulty you experience stems from the choices you’ve made, choices based on erroneous information, faulty beliefs, past programming, unfounded fear.

The Difference Between Men & Women…in Investing

Written by Barbara Huson

For over 20 years, I’ve been baffled.

Sure, we women have become excellent dollar watchers and bargain hunters. But investors? Forget about it. We want to learn, but lack the confidence to act.

And here’s what’s really baffling. Once women enter in the market, we’re actually better investors than men. Key findings in a recent article on The Motley Fool, (https://www.fool.com/research/women-in-investing-research/) show that “female investors earn better returns than men—up to 1% in some studies and, on average, women lost 2.5% of their stock portfolio value in 2015, while men lost 3.8%.”

But, women are still less confident than men in their investing ability. Only 9% of women think they make better investors than men according a Fidelity report.

The Empress’s New Clothes

Written by Barbara Huson

The Traditional Tale:

An Emperor orders a suit of clothes that are invisible to anyone who is incompetent or stupid. The emperor can’t see the clothes, but is so afraid of being judged incompetent or stupid that he pretends to be delighted with the garments and “wears” them in a parade through town. All the onlookers pretend to see them too, until a child yells out, “He hasn’t got any clothes on!”

The Modern Version:

An aging woman, dressed in rags, ambles through crowded streets, feeling invisible, like a second class citizen.

Suddenly, she hears a ruckus from where she just came. Glancing over her shoulder, she sees a little girl, pointing to her in amazement.

“That’s the Empress!” the little girl squeals repeatedly to her mother.

The mother starts to scold the girl until she realizes her daughter is telling the truth. She passed by this disheveled woman many times, but never before recognized her magnificence. A crowd gathers, whispering beneath their breath, staring at the Empress with awe and admiration.

The Feminine Face of Power

Written by Barbara Huson

Let’s talk about Power, shall we? It’s a crucial conversation if you’re aspiring to affluence. You cannot possibly create and retain wealth without also owning your power.

Despite what ‘they’ say, money does not give you power. Take my marriage to the gambler. I had the money, but he had the power. I gave it to him. He made all the financial decisions because I was too scared.

I’m convinced that women’s difficulties with money have very little to do with money per se and everything to do with our fear of or ambivalence about power.

The problem: We’ve don’t understand power from a feminine perspective. For whatever reason, the sexes view power very differently.

Women exercise power by building relationships. Men by asserting control. Women work best in collaborative models of ‘power with.’ Men favor a hierarchical model of ‘power over.’

The Trinity of Trust

Written by Barbara Huson

Years ago, I trusted my husband with my money. He was a stockbroker after all. But, alas, he lost almost everything. After our divorce, I was terrified to trust anyone again.

Then at some point it dawned on me. I couldn’t just ignore money. I needed to start trusting myself. But how? I was financially clueless.

If you’re in a similar situation, let me introduce you to what I’ve come to call the Trinity of Trust. It’s how I began the journey of reclaiming my power and taking financial responsibility

As I spent time connecting with each point on this triangle, I found myself building a firm foundation of trust in myself, in others who were trustworthy, and in the my Higher Power.

Are You a Victim of Financial Abuse? 10 Red Flags

Written by Barbara Huson

Financial abuse is a serious form of domestic violence, but no one ever really talks about it.

While financial abuse is devastating, many, like me, may be totally unaware it’s happening to them.

In the beginning, financial abuse can be so subtle it’s easily misinterpreted as a loving gesture.

“I don’t want finances to stress you,” my first husband would say to me. “Let, me take care of the money and I’ll give you what you need.”

However, as in my case, the abuser’s efforts to control will, in time, escalate into intimidation, threats of violence and often, physical harm.

How do you know if you’re a victim? Here are 10 Red Flags. Read them carefully and circle the ones that apply to you:

Your partner refuses to talk about money. They get defensive, angry or accusatory.
Your partner goes on spending binges, buying expensive items you really can’t afford.
Your partner racks up debt on your credit card.
Your partner frequently gambles, at the casino, the race track, or in the stock market.
You get frequent calls from creditors, which your partner dismisses or assures you everything is ok.
Your partner keeps saying you don’t have enough to buy certain items, which doesn’t make sense based on your incomes.
Your partner uses money to control you or restricts your access to money.
You question their financial decisions, and they immediately turns the table and makes you wrong.
You notice how often you excuse, justify, rationalize their behavior to others and yourself.
Your gut tells you something is wrong.

If even one of these red flags feels even remotely familiar, I urge you to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 (SAFE). They are there, 24/7, to give you the help, information and resources you need.

Have you been affected by financial abuse? Share in the comments below. Your story could help someone else.

Negotiation—A Novel Approach

Written by Barbara Huson

I admit it. When it comes to negotiating—anything—I always lapse into a temporary panic. Words like adversarial, nerve-wracking and intimidating leap to mind.

However, when I met Rhonda Noordyk and was a guest on her podcast, Divorce Conversations for Women, my whole attitude changed. A former financial advisor, Rhonda left the industry in 2014 to become a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. She created The Woman’s Financial Wellness Center, devoted to ensuring women achieve financial justice in a divorce.

I was instantly impressed with Rhonda’s sunny disposition and her razor-sharp intelligence, so I invited her to speak to my online community, The Wealth Connection.

She completely transformed my view of negotiation by introducing the acronym, ANOT.

“It’s a very powerful acronym,” Rhonda explained. “Our clients have had 100% success rate with it. In fact, it’s great for all kinds of communications, even emails.”

Women & Power

The Heroine’s Journey: The Feminine Path to Financial Independence

Welcoming Your Warrior Archetype

What’s Emotion Got to Do With It? Everything!!!

The Truth Will Set You Free…And Here’s Why.

The Difference Between Men & Women…in Investing

The Empress’s New Clothes

The Traditional Tale:

The Modern Version:

The Feminine Face of Power

The Trinity of Trust

Are You a Victim of Financial Abuse? 10 Red Flags

Negotiation—A Novel Approach

Meet Barbara Huson

Recent Blog Posts