Lifting Heavier Weights

Written by Barbara Huson

Have you noticed, in gyms, when guys are lifting really heavy weights, they ask someone, often a perfect stranger, to spot them?

How many times have you seen a woman do that? Hardly ever! We’ll hire trainers. But ask another to spot us? Unthinkable.

I always thought this scenario was a perfect metaphor for how many women tend to approach life. Here’s why:

1st, we rarely lift very heavy weights.

2nd, we don’t want to bother anyone.

3rd, we’re determined to do it alone.

Yet, to achieve success, in anything, requires us to lift heavier weights. This is how we build up confidence and strength to climb to greater heights.

And we can’t do it alone. We need spotters—people we trust to have our backs, to encourage us when the going gets tough or high-five us when we finally lift that heavy weight.

Seven years ago, I shared my gym observation with a friend, Suzy Carroll, who, being the leader she is, formed a spotters group with four of us. What a remarkable experience it’s been.

Once a month, we gather after work, or lately, on the weekends, at someone’s house. Each one takes her turn, sharing what’s on her mind, be it a troublesome situation or a thrilling victory. The others offer loving support, candid feedback, often relating their own similar experiences.

Our meetings usually last about two hours. We don’t leave without setting another date when we’re all available. Not an easy task for busy women, but we’ve made it work.

It’s been incredible to witness how each of us has grown, in ways we could never have imagined at the outset. And we know, with utter certainty, we would’ve never progressed this far alone.

I heartily encourage you to form your own spotters group. I swear…it’s truly life changing.

Do you have a support group you’re part of? Tell me about it below.

Looking for support? I created my virtual community, The Wealth Connection to support women in their financial journey. Join today and hop on my Live Office Hours Call! www.husonwealthconnection.com

The Myth of the Massive Leap

Written by Barbara Huson

I recently got a message on Facebook: “I want to make a quantum leap. Tell me, Barbara, how do I do that?”

My answer: “Take lots of tiny steps.”

If her lack of response was any indication, I don’t think she liked my reply.

But the truth is, that’s precisely how quantum leaps, colossal successes, radical transformations occur…one small step at a time.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better description of this process than a quote by one of my favorite actresses, Julianne Moore.

“You don’t start out thinking, I’m going to be a star!

You think, I hope I get an agent.

Then, I hope I get an audition.

Then, I hope I get a job.

If you think too far ahead, it’s just overwhelming.

It’s better to just keep on going, bit by bit, one foot in front of the other.”

Amen to that! The most dazzling dreams start with the most trivial activities—looking up a phone number, making an appointment, writing an email.

What small step will you make in the direction of your dreams? Leave a comment below.

Want to learn how to go From Consumer to Wealth Builder…even during the holidays? Join me November 13th for a FREE call. Register here!

Is It Just Me? Or Are You Angry Too?

Written by Barbara Huson

Excuse me while I vent. My insides are seething with rage and frustration. I write this to make sense of it all.

My fury was fostered during the 2016 election with the alarming rise of blatant misogyny, which despite #MeToo, continues to intensify.

It’s certainly not all men. But reading the news is both infuriating and deeply painful. I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time I witness another woman being belittled, harassed, marginalized or disparaged.

As one who’s devoted my entire career to women’s liberation and empowerment, I feel inexpressibly sad. And deeply disturbed by what I see. Even Lean In author Sheryl Sandberg recently announced that women’s progress has essentially “dragged to a halt.”

And she issued a dire warning, reported in the Wall Street Journal: “We’re at a really critical moment. Women are entering the US workforce in the highest numbers in decades, but gender parity isn’t improving.”

Yes, we’re “liberated.” We’re free to work…or not. But alas (heavy sigh) we have yet to be respected, valued or treated as equals.

If, as Sheryl cautioned, this is a critical moment, what can I, what can we do?

The instant I asked that question, I heard Gandhi’s guidance. What if we, as individuals, intensify our efforts to become the change we want to see in the world?

What if we each focus on strengthening our own sense of self-respect by ceasing to belittle, marginalize, or disparage our self?

What if you and I genuinely valued all that we bring to the table, especially those gifts we take for granted? What if each of us commits to reaching our fullest potential, despite the obstacles and fears?

Is that the solution for transforming our divisive culture into one of mutual respect? I have no idea. But it’s a place to start. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue. Leave me a comment below.

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Figuring Out ‘Financialese’

Written by Barbara Huson

Have you ever met with a financial advisor and wished you had a translator? I know I did a few years ago when my sisters and I spent months interviewing various advisors for some family trusts.

Nice people, all of them. But once they got started, they were speaking in a foreign tongue.

I thought I knew this language. After all, I’ve written 6 books about money, including Finding a Financial Advisor You Can Trust.

But these folks, at various points in the discussion, had my head reeling. Then it hit me.

No wonder so many women aren’t getting the financial help they need. One conversation with an advisor and their heads are reeling too. And their first reaction is often to put their reeling heads right back in the sand.

Consider this blog, in part, a Plea to Professionals. C’mon, you people. Speak in plain English. And then check in with clients at frequent intervals to make sure they understand what you are telling them..

Even as I write that I know that the truth is, the onus is on us.

I am a Big Believer in working with professionals…be it for a root canal or retirement plan. And sometimes the latter can be as painful as the former! But it doesn’t need to be.

Not if we’re willing to speak up, ask for clarification, and keep asking until we understand. Which is exactly what I had to do in those meetings. And you know what? Every expert was happy to explain. And I actually learned a lot.

It all boils down to this. If we don’t understand ‘Financialese,’ it doesn’t mean we’re stupid. It’s simply a sign to ask more questions.

The payoff is clarity. But, I’m here to tell you, the real reward is how powerful you’ll feel for standing up for yourself.

Have you ever found your head reeling while talking to a financial professional ? Leave a comment below to tell me what you did.

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Joint vs Separate Accounts

Written by Barbara Huson

If you’re married, or about to be, I have a question for you. Do you have money in your own name?

Even if you’re blissfully in love with each other, even if (s)he’s filthy rich or a financial genius, it’s critical to have your own economic identity a bank account and credit card in your own name.

In part, it’s a matter of self-protection. If anything happens to your Prince(ss) Charming, you could be in big trouble. Oh, the horror stories I’ve heard from women who couldn’t get credit or had all kinds of legal problems after losing a spouse through death or divorce because everything was listed under their spouse’s name.

Also, since money is the #1 source of marital spats, having separate accounts could minimize arguments. As Stephanie Sarkis pointed out in Psychology Today, “the less you argue about money, the closer you will feel to your partner.”

But there’s also a psychological component. A separate financial identity, even while maintaining shared accounts, makes a major personal statement. It has nothing to do with the relationship. It has everything to do with your self-concept and sense of autonomy.

Putting money in your name is about growing up, becoming an adult, claiming your sovereignty over your own life.

I’d love to hear if money is a source of strife or harmony in your relationship? Leave a comment below.

Are you in search of a safe place to talk money with other women? My brand new virtual community, The Wealth Connection, is that safe place. Click here for more info.

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I Really Want To…But I’m So Damn Scared!

Written by Barbara Huson

I dedicate this to the women in my ReWIRE Mentorship Program—and all of you—who are on the verge of taking a big leap.]

Maybe you’re ready to open your own business. Or your gut’s saying ‘slow down, spend time in stillness.’ Or it’s become quite clear—you’ve got to start setting stronger boundaries.

You really want to take the next step. But you can’t. Fear, like a colossal boulder, stands in your way.

Of course you’re afraid. Fear is normal, inevitable, whenever you leave the comfort of the familiar and venture into the unknown.

The goal is not to eliminate fear. Because you can’t. The goal is to act in spite of it.

The best advice I’ve ever read was in an interview with writer Ray Bradbury. “Just jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down,” he said, later adding, “If you’re too cautious, you’ll miss life.”

There’s no way around it. If you’re going for Greatness, there’s only one path: feel the fear, endure the discomfort, observe the resistance, and go for it anyway. (On the other side of fear you’ll find your power.)

But hear this! You don’t have to do it alone. The best antidote to fear, for us women, is surrounding yourself with a supportive community.

That’s why I’m starting a brand new virtual community for financially aspiring women, The Wealth Connection. (Details coming soon! Get priority notification here.)

As high earner Karen Page once told me:“Success is a social activity. You can’t do it alone. You just can’t.” Amen to that!!!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how a supportive community (of lack of one) has impacted you. Leave me a comment below.

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The Hidden Danger of High Earnings

Written by Barbara Huson

I recently attended an event where I was surrounded by incredibly successful women. Every participant earned a high six or seven figures…more than 90% of the population.

But as our conversations went deeper, I noticed a disturbing theme. There’s a dark side to high earnings. Whopping wages can be deceptive and dangerous. I call it the Illusion of Affluence.

I saw it at that conference. I see it repeatedly with clients. High earners spending too much, saving too little, or plowing all profits back into their business. Their ample earnings gives them the fantasy, but not the security, of affluence.

Even if they can easily make a bundle whenever they want, high earners are as vulnerable to hard times and sudden change as anyone else.

Absolutely, women making big money are to be applauded. But the real measure of success isn’t what comes to you…it’s what stays with you. In other words, your net worth—the sum total of what you own minus the sum total of what you owe.

Very few high earners I meet have a net worth over a million dollars. Far fewer if the value of their home wasn’t counted. Fewer still could afford to stop working, even years down the road.

If you’re a successful high earner, or on course to becoming one, ask yourself this question: Isn’t it time my money works as hard for me as I do for it?

I promise, wealth building doesn’t need to be overwhelming or time consuming if you start following these 3 steps:

Delegate—find financial professionals to help you create a plan and keep you on track
Automate—every month automatically have a specific sum of money transferred to a savings account and also your brokerage firm.
Educate—everyday, read something about money (peruse the headlines of the business section of the paper or browse through a financial magazine). I call it the Osmosis School of Learning.

All it takes is a few minutes of daily reading, the support of trusted advisors and the habit of consistent savings to become a truly affluent woman…regardless of how much (or how little) you earn.

Leave a comment below and tell me how you make your money work for you.

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The Miraculous Power of Taking Responsibility

Written by Barbara Huson

I clearly remember when I was in the depth of despair, unable to restrain my gambling husband. He had depleted our bank account, putting me and our daughters at terrible risk.

I turned to A Course in Miracles for solace. Instead of the solace I sought, I opened to a passage that shook me to the core.

The Course told me, in no uncertain terms: “I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience and I decide upon the goal I achieve. And everything else that seems to happen to me, I ask for and receive as I have asked.”

In other words, the Course said, “You are doing this unto yourself.” Quite a harsh pill to swallow…even from my beloved Course.

At first I was furious. How dare anyone even suggest I’m responsible for my husband’s recklessness. He lost my money. Not me.

But as my anger subsided, those words—no one did this to me; I [was] doing it to myself—began to make sense. I finally understood what the Course promised—taking responsibility would be “my salvation.”

This mess wasn’t solely my husband’s fault. I was as culpable as he. He may have gambled away my inheritance, but I was the one who gave him the keys to the kingdom by abdicating control.

Regardless of my husband’s actions, my choice to be a passive victim, was the real culprit. Once I realized my role in this disaster, once I started taking responsibility, everything changed rather quickly.

Over time, I was able to not only forgive, but to actually thank my ex for losing my inheritance and my father for not bailing me out. After all, it was because of them that I discovered my calling.

Once I assumed personal responsibility, my passage to financial empowerment shifted into high gear. Sometimes, the best financial advice comes from the most unexpected sources.

I’d love to hear if miracles have occurred for you when you’ve taken responsibility…which isn’t always easy, is it? Share your story below.

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The Inner Work of Wealth

Written by Barbara Huson

I was newly divorced, raising 3 daughters, when I got tax bills for over $1m. My ex was responsible, but he left the country…leaving me with very little in the bank. My father refused to lend me the money. I was angry & terrified, but had no choice. I had to get smart about money.

I tried going to classes, reading books, but nothing made sense. I felt immobilized. Nowhere in those books or classes could I find a solution for my paralysis.

So I took matters in my own hands. I stopped focusing on the practical mechanics of money and started plumbing the deepest recesses of my psyche. Writing in my journal proved profoundly revealing. But most of all, it was freeing.

I became aware of a familiar voice that kept telling me how stupid I was. Instead of ignoring it, letting it hold sway, as I usually did, I began a dialogue with that voice, asking it where it came from and what it wanted.

I remembered my father telling me, often and in no uncertain terms, that managing money was a man’s job. So of course, I was terrified that if I tried to take charge, I’d botch things up badly. I’d make mistakes, blow it all.

My inability to understand money was actually an act of self-protection.

“If we seek something we’re afraid of, attainment of it won’t be what you really want,” A Course in Miracles warned me.

Deep down I didn’t want to get smart. I didn’t want to take charge. I did not want to risk losing everything.

But once I understood my unconscious assumption (women are incapable of managing money) and its source (my father), I was able to discredit it. My paralysis disappeared. Learning about finances actually came quite easily.

The financial industry eschews the Inner Work of Wealth as “touchy feely.” But I’m here to tell you, financial success doesn’t come from what you do as much as it comes from how you think.

Or as author Clark Moustakas put it “When a person acts without knowledge of what (she) thinks, feels, needs or wants, (she) does not yet have the option of choosing to act differently.”

Until I was aware of my false beliefs, I was virtually unable to act differently.

What false beliefs about money are holding you back? Leave me a comment below.

If you enjoyed this Words of Wealth, click here to receive a copy in your inbox every week.

Fear is Good! Really!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

Inspired by those “Life is Good” t-shirts, I am launching a new campaign. And I invite you to join me. I’m calling it: Fear is Good.

As I see it, Fear has gotten a bum rap and a bad rep. Maybe it’s leftover from our Neanderthal heritage, when hungry predators were a constant threat.

But times have changed. And so has Fear’s function.

Problem is, few of us have figured that out. We feel the Fear, and instantly take flight. We don’t realize that, in modern times, fear is rarely a sign that our survival is being threatened.

Nowadays, the only survival being threatened is usually our egos. Fear has a new purpose—to warn us of approaching Greatness.

And as I’m discovering, we’re as afraid of our Greatness as our ancestors were of carnivorous beasts…maybe more.

So, I’m on a crusade to change that. Let it be known…Fear is the clearest signal we will get that we’re on the precipice of greater success, greater prosperity, greater happiness, greater impact.

Imagine if you finally realized that Fear is nothing to fear. As for my Fear is Good campaign, there’s only one requirement to become a member.

Every time you get scared, you shout, at the top of your lungs: “I go where I fear!” And off you go…in the direction of your fear, in the direction of your Greatness.

Fear is Good! Can I sign you up? Leave me a comment below.

Women & Power

Lifting Heavier Weights

The Myth of the Massive Leap

Is It Just Me? Or Are You Angry Too?

Figuring Out ‘Financialese’

Joint vs Separate Accounts

I Really Want To…But I’m So Damn Scared!

The Hidden Danger of High Earnings

The Miraculous Power of Taking Responsibility

The Inner Work of Wealth

Fear is Good! Really!!!

Meet Barbara Huson

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