Women & Power
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The Temptation to Tolerate…

Written by Barbara Huson

Here’s an interesting question. What are you tolerating in your professional and personal life?

My amazing business coach, Ali Brown, posed that question during her recent seminar, Iconic.

The theme of the seminar: How can you and your business become iconic? Or as Ali put it, how can you “let your genie out of the bottle” so you stand out in a very noisy, crowded, over-saturated playing field?

“You can’t go to your zone of genius, if you’re tolerating mediocrity,” Ali explained. “You can’t get to the real issues while tolerating the annoying stuff.”

It never occurred to me that the willingness to tolerate anything—from minor irritations to major grievances—could interfere with success.

When she suggested making a list of what we’re tolerating, I began with:

  1. Fear, keeping me from starting another book
  2. Too many appointments; too few patches of stillness
  3. Social media
  4. Launches
  5. An uncomfortable desk chair
  6. Clients that aren’t a fit

At first, my list seemed so trivial in comparison to the terrible things women have tolerated for decades.  But then, it occurred to me:

Whatever we are tolerating—no matter how slight or how sordid—is another form of victimization, of giving our power away.

So, in the spirit of empowerment, I traded the ease of inertia for the joy of jettisoning the intolerable.

The desk chair is gone, replaced by a comfy one. I’m taking a partial sabbatical, eliminating all launches. I’ve reduced my time on FB significantly. And new clients will fill out an application to make sure we’re a fit.

Already feeling liberated, I look forward to releasing even more. 

As Ali pointed out, “Magic happens when you stop tolerating.”

What are you unwilling to tolerate anymore???

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The Weinstein Effect

Written by Barbara Huson

It’s painful to witness. But I’m also hopeful.

I watch the news and wonder: are we at a tipping point in women’s relationship to power?

The old boys club—not just in Hollywood, but everywhere—is being exposed as a bunch of bullies and brutes, consistently abusing their power through egregious behavior or tacit support.

That’s nothing new, of course.

But here’s the hopeful part. Women are refusing to remain victims.

They are unmaking their abusers, en masse.

They’ve made it abundantly clear that the top-down male model of control, domination and self-aggrandizement is not only ineffective, but offensive, dehumanizing and often vicious.

#me too is morphing into #never again.

It’s time that each one of us—you and I—find our voice, join the chorus and take this journey. Even if, especially if, it’s scary.

Never again will we tolerate abuse. Never again, will we suffer in silence. Never again will we water ourselves down so as not to make waves. In our homes or workplaces.

This is what the Feminine Face of Power looks like.

If you enjoyed this Words of Wealth, click here to receive a copy in your inbox every week.

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When Your Brain Screams “STOP!”

Written by Barbara Huson

Be forewarned. Anytime you try something new, your habitual brain immediately protests: ‘Watch out, this doesn’t feel right! Stop immediately!” 

  

Peter Senge, in his brilliant book, The Fifth Discipline, calls this reaction “creative tension.” 

  

This tension feels terrible, but it has a purpose. It forces us to act. We’ll do anything to reduce it.

 

One way is to lower our sights, give up the goal, and sink back into old patterns. This is the quick and easy fix many women take. 

 

A tougher but ultimately more rewarding solution is to stay the course, using tension as a driving force to keep moving forward. 

 

The closer you get to achieving your goal, warns Senge, the stronger the forces become pulling you away, the louder your brain protests, and the more urgently you want to revert to old patterns.

 

I’ve seen it repeatedly with the women I work with. They’d fall apart at the brink of success, get cold feet, recall the pain of old failures, worry they made the wrong decision. 

 

My advice is always the same. It’s okay to feel bad. Just don’t let it stop you.

If you enjoyed this Words of Wealth, click here to receive a copy in your inbox every week.

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God and Money

Written by Barbara Huson

Call me crazy. Or call me Woo-Woo. But I firmly believe financial success is a spiritual journey; financial abundance is a divine right; and financial responsibility is a sacred duty.

Something happens when you bring faith into finances. The often overwhelming task of making more money and managing it wisely becomes not only easier but more meaningful.

Look at it this way. You and I are here for a purpose. Money is a vital tool for doing what we were put on this planet to do. How can you possibly follow your God given destiny if you’re drowning in debt, struggling to make ends meet?

Disciplined spending, sufficient earnings, habitual savings and prudent investing are sacred tools for not only living your best life but making the world a better place.

Money, I believe, is God made visible.

If you enjoyed this Words of Wealth, click here to receive a copy in your inbox every week.

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Want to Feel More Powerful?

Written by Barbara Huson

It was a conversation I’ll never forget.

Soon after I sold my first book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart about Money, I flew to New York and had lunch with my editor from Penguin. As we munched on our salads, I casually asked if she ever invested.

“Oh no,” she said, emphatically. “I have no money.” I could see she was embarrassed, so I dropped the subject.

A year after my book hit the stores, she called to confess.

“Remember that lunch when I told you I had no money,” she said. “Well I did, but it was all sitting in cash in my 401 (k). After working on your book, I realized how foolish that was. So I started educating myself, found an advisor, and it’s now fully invested. I even collected my spare change in a jar every night, and I’ve invested that too.”

She paused a moment, then added: “I watch the market go up and down, but I’m in it for the long haul, so I’m not worried at all.”
My heart burst, I was so excited. But then she said what I hear all the time from women when they finally understand investing.

“I have to tell you, Barbara, I feel so powerful.”

Those four words captured the essence of my life’s work; why I’m so passionate about helping women financially. Sure, I want them to prosper. But more importantly, I want every woman to realize that by taking charge of her money, she’s taking charge of her life. The incredible sense of power this brings is a seriously intoxicating high.

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The Mind/Body Connection

Written by Barbara Huson

Why do we do it? Spend more than we have. Save less than we need. Ignore our finances altogether.

Blame it on your brain.

Let me explain. Your brain consists of billions of nerve cells which connect to each other via neuropathways.

The more you think a thought or feel an emotion, the stronger a neuropathway grows. Eventually, a well-worn pathway becomes a hard-wired habit.

Let’s say you constantly stress because there’s never enough. That thought— ‘never enough’ —stimulates your brain to produce and transfer chemicals to the appropriate pathways.

The more you repeat that thought, the stronger the neuropathway grows until you automatically do things that leave you with not enough.

All the effort, will power, discipline, good intentions and financial facts in the world won’t change anything.

Your brain forces your behavior to abide by its wiring.

The key is not to focus on changing your behavior…which is exactly what most financial classes focus on.

Maybe you’ve noticed. It doesn’t work.

The solution— focus on changing your thoughts. What flows through your mind, wires your brain.

What thoughts do you really focus on? Share here.

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Down with Financialese

Written by Barbara Huson

Have you ever met with a financial advisor, and wished you had a translator? They may be really nice people, but once they start talking, they’re suddenly speaking a foreign tongue.

“C’mon, you guys,” I want to say. “Speak in plain English.” But, truth is, I don’t hold out much hope. The onus is on us.

I’m a big believer in working with professionals…be it for a root canal or a retirement plan. And sometimes the latter can be as painful as the former! But it doesn’t need to be.

Not if you’re willing to speak up, ask for clarification, and keep asking until you understand.

As I’ve learned over the years, just because you don’t understand ‘Financialese,’ doesn’t mean you’re stupid.

It’s simply a sign to ask more questions. And keep asking. The payoff is clarity. But, I’m here to tell you, the real reward is how powerful you’ll feel for standing up for yourself.

How do you stand up for yourself?

Afraid of Success? Think Again.

Written by Barbara Huson

We met for drinks, when she sheepishly admitted, “I think I’m afraid of success. I can see little ways I’m holding myself back.”

“What are you scared of?” I asked

“I’m afraid people will want more of me than I can give them. I’m so busy now, I’m afraid I’ll have no time for myself. I’m scared it will all be too much.”

At that moment, I knew she was describing an often misunderstood struggle unique to women. She wasn’t afraid of success. She was afraid of power.

There’s a critical difference. Success is the outcome we desire to achieve (the good stuff). Power is what it takes to achieve it (the scary stuff).

By nature, we women are all about relationships. We want everyone to like us.

Success, however, requires rocking the boat, speaking our truth, setting strong boundaries. What scares us is the consequences of ruffling feathers, ‘making’ people mad or unhappy.

As I learned from successful women, the key to claiming our power lies is shifting in our thinking. And the shift sounds like this: In the world of work, I’d rather be respected than liked.

“I tried to be nice rather than stand by my convictions,” a successful woman once told me. “But I learned you can’t always be liked, but you can definitely be respected.”

As I conveyed these thoughts to my friend, she nodded her head and smiled knowingly. Then I raised my wine glass as she lifted hers.

“To your success,” I toasted.

“To our power,” she replied.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

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Is this YOUR Drug of Choice?

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m here to tell you, constant busyness can be hazardous to your health and well being!

I call it ATBS–Addicted to Busyness Syndrome. 

And it’s epidemic among women. We stuff every cranny of our lives with so much activity that we’ve lost touch with what’s truly essential and what’s really irrelevant.

Busyness has become our drug of choice.

And I’m the first to admit—busyness is a bitch to give up!

Without endless activity, we’re left with empty space. And empty space gives rise to painful feelings.  Rather than experience the pain, we fill up the spaces.

But, as I’ve learned from my own busyness detox, when  you face what you fear, you find it no longer controls you. When you eliminate the unnecessary, you discover what really matters. And, though detoxing from frenetic activity is never easy or comfortable, it’s freeing beyond anything I expected.

When I slowed down, I saw my life more clearly. Decisions became obvious, thus easier to make. Opportunities abounded and I had the energy—and time—to grab them.

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

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The Legend of Sacred Success

Written by Barbara Huson

            “The way to do is to be.” Lao Tzu

    There once lived a woman whose life was abundant.

            She had a beautiful home, happy children, a wonderful man, a successful career, and a healthy portfolio of stocks and bonds.

But one day, a very strange thing happened. She woke up feeling ‘blah.’ Something was missing.  Subtle at first, these feelings grew more insistent.

Her happiness took a nose-dive.  Her creativity all but disappeared. And her ambition (this was one really driven woman) completely vanished.

She tried pretending all was well.  But the guilt made that impossible.  How could she, who had so much, feel this empty? People would think she was crazy.  Fact is, she felt crazy.  This went on for months.

Until an angel appeared (disguised as a coach) with some sage advice. “You’re too into ‘doing,’” the angel told her. “You need time for ‘being.’”

And the woman knew the angel was right. So off the woman went, to be by herself, in search of the missing something.

The very first morning, she awoke with a prayer:  “Tell me what I need to know.”  She didn’t expect an answer. But one came immediately.

“Go for Greatness,” a voice replied. She stopped in her tracks. Suddenly, everything made sense.

She realized her symptoms were signals from her soul, summoning her to a higher level. She was being asked to pursue her soul’s purpose, doing what she was put on this planet to do, in a bigger way than ever before. And she knew, for a fact, she wasn’t alone. Countless others were receiving this same Call.

At that moment, the blahs evaporated, her energy returned.  She’d found what was missing.  She called it Sacred Success®. Her life was never the same. All that was good became even greater. She accomplished more with much less effort. Financial success came with ease and grace. Her closest friends all noticed the difference.

If you’re  feeling something similar—like you’re stuck, burned out, something’s missing, or you’re right on the verge of greatness-THIS woman deeply desires to share what she learned with you.  Her Sacred Success Retreat is May 18-21, in Baltimore, MD. There are only 4 seats left.   Will you be in one of them?

Included in the fee: room, meals, workbook, private coaching session, and a full year of follow up!!!

LEARN MORE!

If you enjoyed these “Words of Wealth”, head over to my website and sign-up for my FREE weekly newsletter at: www.barbarastanny.com

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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