It was a conversation with a friend I’ll never forget. Her family was dirt poor. Mine was quite wealthy. Our childhoods were starkly different, but we shared a startling similarity.
Growing up, we both felt tremendous shame around our family’s finances. I hated being different from my friends. She loathed feeling less than her peers. I never knew if people liked me for me or my rich parents. She always suspected others pitied or looked down on her.
That’s when I realized: Money Shame is ubiquitous regardless of one’s economic status. But it’s not the money (or lack of it) that causes shame. Money simply magnifies the shame we’ve always carried.
Shame is the intense pain of feeling so awful, so flawed, so defective that we’re convinced we’re worthless and unlovable.
I believe unhealed shame is perhaps the major reason smart, capable women struggle financially. Because when shame is triggered, the logical thinking part of our brain virtually shuts down.
