Women & Power

Letting Go

Here’s a foolproof strategy for getting unstuck. You must let go of where you are to get to where you want to go.

Clinging to the security of the familiar ledge prevents us from discovering what awaits us in the future.

The ledges in our lives offer the illusion of safety, but in truth their only value is to keep us hanging.

These ledges take many forms, both concrete and intangible. They can look like unfulfilling jobs, unpleasant relationships, inappropriate goals, untrue beliefs, unhealthy habits, bottled-up emotions.

Every successful woman I interviewed who finally let go (as hard as it was), cited that single act as the springboard to higher earnings and happier times.

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Here’s Where You’ll Find Success…Guaranteed

If success seems to elude you, here’s a guaranteed approach for finding it. Do what you don’t want to do, are afraid to do, think you can’t do.

Whenever you decide to do something different—whether it’s making more money or changing careers—success always lies just outside your comfort zone.

The only way you’ll succeed is by stretching beyond what feels comfortable to what may seem impossible. .

The ability to tolerate discomfort—doing what might not feel good, but doing it anyway—is the only path to financial success.

For us pleasure-seeking, pain-avoiding creatures, that’s a very tall order. It’s certainly not comfortable to face up to a challenge, acknowledge a problem, and it’s especially unnerving to eschew our habitual ways of handling them.

Yet, that’s exactly what’s required. The real work in raising the bar is to stop doing the same old thing you’ve always done, to try out new strategies, to ignore false alarms, to resist the urge to quit, and refuse to fall back into familiar terrain.

Problems Are Your Starting Points

I saw it so clearly, when interviewing successful women. Their financial achievement was invariably preceded by a financial challenge.

Problems have a purpose. They’re trying to get our attention.

The place to begin when faced with a problem is admitting what’s not working in your life. It could be anything from bankruptcy or burn out; from feeling undervalued or overworked; from getting a divorce, or desperately wanting one.

No matter how subtle, how small, or how sizable and scary, your willingness to face the problem head on the first step to breaking through it.

Facing a problem means looking it straight in the eye, even if you haven’t a clue what to do about it…especially if you haven’t a clue.

You Can’t Do That!! Who Do You Think You Are?

We all have internal critics. The ones that tell us what we can’t possibly do, how we’re sure to screw up if we even try.

Those voices may never shut up. Mine sure haven’t.

But recently I had an epiphany. Just because I hear voices in my head, doesn’t mean I have to heed them.

As Vincent Van Gogh once said: If you hear a voice within you say ‘you can not paint,’ by all means paint and the voice will be silenced.”

Instead I just keep reminding myself: that’s not my voice. It’s the voice of my dad, the culture, teachers, something ‘out there.’ But it isn’t mine.

Then I simply say to that voice: Thank you for sharing. Then I replace that critical voice with a more positive statement, a personal mantra or affirmation.

Are You Really Playing Full Out? It Matters…A lot!

Which game are you playing? It’s an important question I learned from interviewing successful women.

They taught me that, in the world of work, you are either playing The Underearning Game or The High Earning Game. There’s a big difference between the two.

The Underearning Game is called Not To Lose. The goal is to stay safe, look good, and be comfortable. There’s only one rule—avoid anything that feels uncomfortable or scary.

The High Earning game is called To Win. The goal is to go as far as you can with all that you got, and when you fall down, you get back up and keep going. The only rule here—play Full Out.

Problem is, sometimes it’s hard to tell which game you’re actually playing. There are times when I swear I’m giving my all. Then later it hits me—I was fooling myself. I really wasn’t playing a true Full Out.

I Really Truly Want To…But I’m So Damn Scared!

You’re ready. It’s time to open your own business, ask for a promotion or set stronger boundaries. You truly want to take the next step.

But you can’t. Fear, like a colossal boulder, stands in your way.

Of course you’re afraid. Fear is a normal, inevitable, reaction any time you leave the comfort of the familiar and venture into the unknown.

The goal, here, is not to eliminate fear. Because you can’t. The goal is to act in spite of it. I love how writer Ray Bradbury put it.

“Just jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down,” he said, adding, “If you’re too cautious, you’ll miss life.”

There’s no way around it.  If you want success, there’s only one path: feel the fear, endure the discomfort, observe the resistance, and go for it anyway.

But hear this! You don’t have to do it alone. The best antidote to fear, for us women, is surrounding yourself with a supportive community.

As high earner Karen Page once told me: “Success is a social activity. You can’t do it alone. You just can’t.”  Amen to that!!

It’s precisely why I created my virtual community—The Wealth Connection—for financially aspiring women.

If you’re looking for a safe, welcoming place to talk openly, intimately, deeply about money, receive personal coaching from me, and encouragement, support & inspiration from the others, you can learn more HERE.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how a supportive community (of lack of one) has impacted you. Leave me a comment below.

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Joint vs Separate Accounts

If you’re married, or about to be, I have a question for you. Do you have money in your own name?

Even if you’re blissfully in love with each other, even if (s)he’s filthy rich or a financial genius, it’s critical to have your own economic identity–a bank account and credit card in your own name.

In part, it’s a matter of self-protection. If anything happens to your Prince(ss) Charming, you could be in big trouble.

Oh, the horror stories I’ve heard from women who couldn’t get credit or had all kinds of legal problems after losing a spouse through death or divorce because everything was listed under their spouse’s name.

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Success Insists: “Toughen Up…But Not Like A Man!”

We women, by nature, tend to be pleasers. We want everyone to be happy with us. Believe me, successful women are no different. Almost all the high earners I’ve interviewed confessed to a “little girl inside me who wants to be liked.”

Yet these women were continually required to make difficult, even painful, decisions that often had negative consequences for other people. The secret to their success: they had to toughen up.

‘Toughening up’ does not mean we have to harden our hearts, numb our senses, or act like men. The women I interviewed taught me four techniques for becoming strong, effective leaders without compromising their feminine nature.

The Unhealthy Dependency on Self-Imposed Deadlines

I’m making myself crazy. I’ve been doing it for months. Ever since I decided I was ready birth to my next body of work. In a fit of over-zealous optimism, I gave myself till spring to create a brand-new class, complete with a workbook.

Well, spring is quickly coming to a close. Neither the class or the workbook is near completion. Not even close. I’ve been beating myself up—unmercifully—for missing my deadline.

I’m a big believer in setting deadlines. They’re terrific tools for staying on track. But, I’m recognizing, there’s a major downside to made-up deadlines.

The trouble comes when I don’t meet them. Rather than rethink the timing, I scold myself severely for screwing up.

Power is Scary. Let’s Change That!

I’ve long known that women’s difficulties with money have little to do with money per se and everything to do with their fear of power.

In a 2012 study, “Women and the Paradox of Power,” 38% of respondents said they’d rather be well-liked than powerful. As if the two were mutually exclusive.

Our confusion around power should come as no surprise. Historically, girls haven’t been groomed, expected, or encouraged to be successful, powerful adults.

If anything, we were raised to be the power behind the throne, often punished for even aspiring higher.

I’m convinced, beneath our dislike of or discomfort with power, lurks a deeper, more ominous concern—the dire consequences we might suffer if we become truly powerful.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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