Women & Wealth

The Secret “The Secret” Forgot to Tell Us

Written by Barbara Huson

I’m a big fan of The Secret. I just watched the video again the other day.

Thanks to this wildly selling video and subsequent book by Rhona Bryne, the Law of Attraction has gained national attention. And that’s a very good thing…to a point.

The Law of Attraction states that you attract whatever you want into your life through your ability to feel good, think positively, and focus only on the desired outcome. Simply put, if you want to be rich, don’t focus on lack.

But here’s the problem. How many times have you said you really want wealth, believe riches are on the way, refuse to focus on anything but abundance….and still,  nothing happens?   Your bills go unpaid while your bank balance dwindles.

What The Secret failed to mention is that the Law of Attraction is only part of the equation. There is also The Law of Congruency.

This law states that your declared intention must be congruent with your unconscious decisions.  For example, you may say “I want to be rich,” but if you distrust wealthy people, don’t believe you deserve it, or see money as the root of all evil, then wealth isn’t really what you want.

Or as A Course in Miracles explains: “What you ask for you receive. But this refers to prayers of the heart not the words you use in praying.”

This inner discord explains why affirmations or positive thinking, as powerful as they are, don’t always work.

If you don’t have what you want, chances are your spoken goals are in conflict with your authentic desires, and deep down, you don’t actually want what you’re asking for.

The solution—try asking yourself a question: Why don’t I want it? Or put another way: What’s my pay-off for not having it?

What do you say you want in your life but can’t seem to manifest?

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A Simple Truth: Why the Rich Are Different

Written by Barbara Huson

Scott Fitzgerald: “The rich are different than you and me.”

Ernest Hemingway: “Yes. They have more money.”

I often see this exchange between the two authors quoted. I always want to take it one step further:  “But why do the rich have more money than most.”

And my answer would be: “Because the rich think differently.”

And here’s the difference: The Masses think like a Consumer. The Rich think like a Wealth Builder.

There is a major difference between the two.

A Consumer thinks: I want more money so I can buy more clothes, take more trips, eat out more often, and have more fun.

The Wealth Builder thinks: I want more money to save and invest for the long term so that I can have more freedom, more choices, more fun, and more opportunities to give back.

Do you know what separates these two mind-sets? Instant gratification.

It’s the difference between snapping up those Prada shoes—which you simply must have because they go perfectly with that Juicy Couture dress you just bought—or depositing that same sum straight into a savings account, or better yet, a mutual fund.

The decision is yours to make.

I’m not suggesting self-deprivation. There’s a world of difference between denial and discipline.

True, the discipline of saving may require delayed gratification. But think of it this way—you’re giving the money to YOU (not Visa or Starbucks) so that ultimately you can purchase what you please without pressure or worry.

What about you? Do you think like a Consumer or Wealth Builder?

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My Career’s a Success. My Finances, a Mess!

Written by Barbara Huson

Years ago, I noticed a puzzling phenomenon. It’s far more prevalent today. I call it the Secret Shame of Successful Women.
 

Bright, sophisticated professionals, making ample incomes, who have little (if anything) in the bank to show for it. 
  

These women look like the epitome of success—whip smart, business savvy, high earners—yet suffer some degree of financial distress.

They’re either too ashamed to reach out for help (I should be able to do this) or stubbornly resist change when they do (I have no time).   

At first it didn’t make sense. You’d think they’d know better, right? 

If you can relate, let me reassure you.

First, you’re not alone. Second, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Finally, this has nothing to do with intelligence…or even money.

Financial instability is symptomatic of something far deeper.

The real culprit is all the bottled-up emotions you’ve likely spent a lifetime avoiding. 
 

And what better way to avoid your suppressed pain or trauma (that your inner child still carries) than financial avoidance and the resulting turmoil.  

So rather than feel the pain, you create distraction. Unconsciously, of course.
   

But unless you deal with your repressed emotions, you’ll keep repeating the same dysfunctional behavior. Avoidance, which became your early survival mechanism, has been hard-wired in your brain from continuous repetition. 
 

Years ago, I had a client who, as soon as she paid off a huge debt, was suddenly flooded with scenes of early abuse. 

Financial tension had conveniently masked those terrible memories. 

I assured her those memories were coming up to be healed and urged her to find a therapist specializing in trauma recovery, which she did right away.
   

As my former client now admits: facing your pain leads to financial gain. Otherwise your deeply scarred inner child continues running your life, keeping the chaos intact
 

I’d love to hear from you if you can relate to this blog. 

If you enjoyed this Words of Wealth, click here to receive a copy in your inbox every week.

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The Life Changing Power of Setting Strong Boundaries

Written by Barbara Huson

In my interviews with High Earners I always asked: “Are you doing what you’re doing for the money?”

Almost to a woman, their response was a vehement NO. Passion, challenge, and recognition drove them. But not the money.

Here’s the catch. In the next breath, they all said the same thing. “But I damn well want to be well compensated…because I know I’m worth it!”

Where did their strong sense of self-worth come from? I soon discovered the answer.

These women forced themselves to set strong boundaries. They asked for what they wanted and said ‘no’ to what they didn’t. Over and over again.

This simple (but scary) act was the secret to their financial success. Here’s why:

  • Asking for more is an act of self-love
  • Saying no is a statement of self-respect.
  • Refusing to settle is a show of self-esteem.
  • And walking away is a sign of self-trust.

Whenever you stand up for what you want, whenever you refuse to take less than you deserve, you reinforce your self-love, self-respect, self-worth, and self-trust.

In time, you’ll begin to notice a shift in how you feel about yourself.

Speaking up becomes not something you should do, but something you have to do— because you know in your heart you’re worth it.

Where do you need to set boundaries by speaking up?

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And You Thought It was about Money!!!!

Written by Barbara Huson

Once a woman achieves financial stability, no longer struggling to make ends meet, something within her dramatically changes…though she’s rarely aware it’s happening.

Her brain, no longer tasked with simply surviving, is ready to rewire itself.

She finds herself yearning for Greatness, no longer satisfied with mediocrity.

She deeply desires to create wealth, not for its own sake, but for its original meaning—well-being.

She strives for power, not to appease or dominate others, but to have dominion over herself.

She searches for significance, not by being the best or making the most, but by doing what God put her on earth to do.

Rewiring, however, requires tremendous effort. She must intentionally respond differently, not habitually, consciously choosing behaviors that permit her to thrive…rather than merely survive.

Yet, unless she’s vigilant, her old neural connections will keep recreating ‘not enough’. She’ll unwittingly remain rooted in the hard-wired neuropathway offering the least resistance (otherwise known as her comfort zone).

I truly believe when enough women understand how to rewire their brains by taking the path of most resistance, building their wealth and claiming their power, a global transformation will occur.

We’ll have the values, visions, sensitivity and the resources needed to change this world, heal this planet.

This, I believe, is our essential legacy, our inherent destiny, our financial responsibility as women.

Tell me about the legacy you want to leave in the comments below.

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Money is Emotional

Written by Barbara Huson

I’ve got a beef with the financial industry. And the financial media. And most financial books.

They are preoccupied with the Outer Work of money while ignoring the Inner Work. This myopic perspective occurs for one reason.

Financial education has been created mostly by men.

A few years ago, I was talking to a male pollster who was conducting a Harris Interactive survey for a major financial firm. He had just come from a series of focus groups.

“What did you learn?” I asked him.

“You know,” he responded with surprise, “Money is a very emotional topic for women!”
 

I had to laugh. Like this was brand new information (which, of course, it is to most men)?

But as I learned from personal experience—unless you deal with your psyche, you’ll likely sabotage your success.
 

If you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or indecisive, the solution rarely lies in doing more Outer Work. The key is dealing with your internal blocks, limiting beliefs, and early decisions.


Until you consciously examine your early programming and intentionally change it, you’ll be like puppets pulled by the strings of your past.  

 

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God and Money

Written by Barbara Huson

Call me crazy. Or call me Woo-Woo. But I firmly believe financial success is a spiritual journey; financial abundance is a divine right; and financial responsibility is a sacred duty.

Something happens when you bring faith into finances. The often overwhelming task of making more money and managing it wisely becomes not only easier but more meaningful.

Look at it this way. You and I are here for a purpose. Money is a vital tool for doing what we were put on this planet to do. How can you possibly follow your God given destiny if you’re drowning in debt, struggling to make ends meet?

Disciplined spending, sufficient earnings, habitual savings and prudent investing are sacred tools for not only living your best life but making the world a better place.

Money, I believe, is God made visible.

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The Heroine’s Journey

Written by Barbara Huson

I have come to see that becoming financially savvy is, for many women, a Heroine’s Journey.

The purpose of all Hero(ine)’s Journey is a transformation of consciousness. Or as mythologist Joseph Campbell put it, “You have been thinking one way. Now you have to think a different way.”

That is precisely what most of us must do. We must think beyond being a Wage Earner and Dollar Watcher to becoming a Wealth Builder.

Wealth doesn’t come from your salary or your revenues. Wealth comes from investing your money in assets (stocks, bonds, real estate) that grow faster than inflation and taxes can take it away.

I know…investing can seem overwhelming. But not if you follow these 4 simple steps:

  • Start educating yourself. Keep an eye out for lectures, seminars, financial news, magazine articles, money books or people who are smart about investing.
  • Do something every day, even if it’s just flipping through a money magazine or reading a paragraph from Investing for Dummies.
  • Find a buddy, someone who will learn right along with you and hold you accountable. Check in with each other on a regular basis.
  • Visit a financial planner who will evaluate your current financial situation, help you identify your goals, create a plan for achieving those goals and protecting your future.

These 4 steps are the beginning of your Heroine’s Journey to empowering yourself personally as well as enriching yourself financially.

Leave a comment about your Heroine’s Journey to wealth.

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Your Lot in Life?

Written by Barbara Huson

You really want a different experience with money. You’ve tried everything, with little success. And you’re getting frustrated.

Maybe you’ve repeated affirmations, created vision boards, and talked nonstop about your desires for having more (aka The Law of Attraction)…and nothing changes. Not one thing.

Maybe you’ve started creating a budget, paying down your debt, or making more sales calls only to find yourself losing focus, losing interest, or losing patience.

Or maybe you’ve been so busy bringing in the bucks, you find yourself burnt out, feeling neither happy nor free.

So, why despite all your efforts, aren’t you making much headway toward a better, more prosperous life?

I promise, it has nothing to do with bad luck, a family curse, or your lot in life. It has EVERYTHING to do with your thoughts and beliefs about yourself and/or money.

I’d like to suggest that you try something different. Spend some time in self-reflection. Journal about the insights that come up for you around your beliefs about money and wealth.

What if you…

  • examine your limiting beliefs?
  • face your fears, meet your demons?
  • give voice to repressed emotions?
  • explore early messages you got about money (from family, church, society)?

…and begin to replace what no longer serves you with healthy, more powerful behaviors.

Where could start changing your thoughts and beliefs about wealth? Share below.

 

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The Mind/Body Connection

Written by Barbara Huson

Why do we do it? Spend more than we have. Save less than we need. Ignore our finances altogether.

Blame it on your brain.

Let me explain. Your brain consists of billions of nerve cells which connect to each other via neuropathways.

The more you think a thought or feel an emotion, the stronger a neuropathway grows. Eventually, a well-worn pathway becomes a hard-wired habit.

Let’s say you constantly stress because there’s never enough. That thought— ‘never enough’ —stimulates your brain to produce and transfer chemicals to the appropriate pathways.

The more you repeat that thought, the stronger the neuropathway grows until you automatically do things that leave you with not enough.

All the effort, will power, discipline, good intentions and financial facts in the world won’t change anything.

Your brain forces your behavior to abide by its wiring.

The key is not to focus on changing your behavior…which is exactly what most financial classes focus on.

Maybe you’ve noticed. It doesn’t work.

The solution— focus on changing your thoughts. What flows through your mind, wires your brain.

What thoughts do you really focus on? Share here.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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