What scares us most about financial success is not that we may fall short, but that we may actually take flight.
I see it in so many women. I saw it myself. We’re terrified to discover that we might be ‘powerful beyond measure.’ And for good reason.
When we claim our power, we raise the stakes. Power insists we become responsible adults, the primary authority in our life…autonomous, accountable, and as singer/songwriter Helen Reddy crooned, “too big to ignore.”
You’re eager to play a bigger game. You’re smart, ambitious, with a solid plan in place. But, damn it, you can’t seem to make any headway.
Want to know what’s holding you back? Those devilish how-to’s, the belief that you must have it all figured out before you even begin.
Plotting every step in advance may feel safe, even smart. But it’ll blind you to all the unexpected opportunities that will inevitably appear.
I was stuck in this mindset most of my life…until I interviewed six-figure women.
Their stellar success followed a three-step strategy:
Step 2 is the game changer. Commitment acts like a magnet, attracting opportunities that often come disguised as coincidences. If you’re not seeing coincidences, it’s likely a sign that you’re not totally committed.
Is there anyone on the planet who hasn’t heard of the ‘Law of Attraction’. It’s the buzzword of the decade. I see it everywhere—books, articles, YouTube gurus—all singing its praises.
Simply put, the Law of Attraction says: you attract whatever you want into your life through your ability to feel good, think positively, and focus only on the desired outcome.
So, if you want to be rich, don’t focus on lack.
But there’s a catch: How many people—maybe you’re one—really want wealth, focus only on abundance….and yet, their bills pile up, their savings shrink?
While cleaning out my files, I discovered a crumpled-up article from the Wall Street Journal, with no date, but faded with age. The subject quickly grabbed my attention.
The reporter asked a bevy of the biggest super stars the secret to their stellar success. What he found surprised him…and fascinated me.
These luminaries—mostly pop singers, pro athletes, and movie stars–gave God all the credit.
Have you ever wondered if you might be settling for less than you truly desire? It’s a daunting question, isn’t it?
But the bigger question is, how do you even know what you genuinely want?
I bring this up because I feel like I’m hearing more women wondering if they’re in the right job, the right relationship, the right city….then inevitably asking: “But how do I even figure out what I really want?
If you’re wrestling with uncertainty, let me share a profound process I used years ago, when I was miserably unhappy and utterly confused.
I asked myself 3 questions. I’m not sure where I found those questions, but they proved to be a game changer as I sat quietly, pondering each one, allowing the answers to emerge until I had clarity:
I was leafing through some old files when I found a poem from a lifetime ago. Suddenly waves of painful, memories flooded my brain.
My life was in shambles. My husband’s gambling was out of control. I begged God for help, just as I begged my husband to stop gambling. Both ignored me.
Then one day an envelope arrived with no return address. There was a poem inside- no title, neatly typed, all caps, on crisp white paper. I read it and gasped. The message was clear—I had to face my fear.
Have you noticed, in gyms, when guys are lifting really heavy weights, they ask someone, often a perfect stranger, to spot them? How many times have you seen a woman tap someone to help them? Hardly ever!
Why? Because we seldom lift very heavy weights; we don’t want to bother anyone; and we’re determined to do it alone.
But financial success requires you to lift heavier weights in order to build up your confidence, strengthen your resolve and climb to greater heights.
After my divorce from the gambling husband, my inheritance was pretty much gone, with the exception of a few properties that gave me a small monthly income. But I did something smart.
When the rent from the properties would arrive, before I spent a cent, I’d put a portion into my savings account. I did it automatically. I filled out a form and the bank took are of the rest.
I didn’t even have to think about. And even though it wasn’t a lot, it’s amazing how my savings grew over time.
Later, as the cash accumulated, I automated my investing, by using a technique known as Dollar Cost Averaging (DCA-click to learn more). DCA takes the emotion out of investing, reduces the risk of losing a lump sum in a down market and reduces costs because you buy less when your investments are expensive, and more when they’re cheaper.
I’ll never forget my first investment on my own. A friend of my father’s was forming a limited partnership. He’d just opened T.J. Cinnamons, a retail outlet that sold sticky buns. And he needed to raise money.
I knew what sticky buns were. I had no idea what a limited partnership was, or the risk I was taking. But hey, this was my dad’s close friend. He was extremely wealthy, very smart, massively successful. So, it had to be a great thing, right?
When T.J. Cinnamons went under, I lost all my money.
Keeping track of your expenses is a powerful tool. It’s perfect for reigning in your expenses and getting rid of debt.
But tracking reveals so much more. You’ll see where you’re spending your time and energy. You’ll discover bad habits and blind spots. You’ll realize where you’re trying to fill a hole in your soul. You’ll quickly see what’s missing in your life, areas of deprivation, like vacations or medical visits or new underwear.
Tracking also has a ripple effect. In an Australian study, where participants wrote down every purchase, not only did their finances improve, but they smoked and drank less, ate less junk food and they were more productive.
